


Salvation

by adoring_audience



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Canon Rewrite, Everything that happened mostly still happens, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Plus lots of sex, Romance, Shower Sex, Smut, Temporary Amnesia, Vaginal Sex, but not really, you get the picture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 84,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoring_audience/pseuds/adoring_audience
Summary: Damon returns from the 1994 prison world only to find out that his girlfriend doesn't remember him anymore. Or does she? A rewrite of Season 6, of sorts. Very Delena-centric. It's all about the epic love that refuses to be forgotten. Very smutty at times, but it's not the main focus of the story. Still, if you're not into smut within a plot, this is not the story for you. Some changes to season 6 storyline, mostly concerning the timeline. A sequel is in the works.
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett & Damon Salvatore (friendship), Elena Gilbert/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 74
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

_Dear Diary,_

_I thought the weirdest day in my life was the one when Stefan told me I was in love with his brother, or used to be. But today takes the cake. And no, I have not forgotten the times when we had to fight against original vampires, or having an evil doppelganger, or our town being taken over by travelers, or me dying and coming back – more than once!_

_Damon’s back. And I feel like a circus animal where everyone is staring at me with bated breath, awaiting my reaction. And I have no idea how to_ _react, or what to think. All I know is, it’s hard to focus on his bad sides when he looks at you like that._

Elena paused and chewed on her pencil absentmindedly. She was tempted to pull out the Damon box she was hiding under her bed to re-read the journal entry she wrote to herself. But she didn’t want to wake Caroline. Besides, what she really wanted was to re-read her old journals but those were gone. Burned.

She turned her attention back to her diary. She re-read the last sentence and resolutely crossed it out.

_~~it’s hard to focus on his bad sides when he looks at you like that.~~  
_

_He is evil. I know he is. I remember all the bad things he’s done, every last one of them. And yet… They tell me I forgave him. They tell me I loved him. And when I looked into his eyes today – I could believe them. Not that I thought my friends were lying to me. But everything that Stefan or Alaric or even Caroline told me sounded like a story that happened to someone else. Like something from a book and not my actual life. It didn’t seem real until today.  
_

_When I danced with him tonight… there was a spark. And I didn’t like it. I don’t like him. I don’t want to like him. He’s sadistic, cruel, arrogant, and selfish. And I could never be in love with someone like him.  
_

_No matter how pretty his eyes._

Elena’s thoughts drifted to the moment less than an hour ago when Damon had said goodbye, his words still ringing in her ear.

_“It got cold and muddy. You were miserable. We got into the car and drove back home.”_

She might not know him now as she supposedly once did, but she did know that he’d lied to her in that moment. She just knew that this was not how the night had ended. But he seemed to have given up. And Elena should be elated – she was free to go back to her old (new) life, but all she felt was misery and a sense of loneliness she didn’t understand.

Was that just more of his tricks or was he being genuinely selfless? But that didn’t fit with the image she had of him. Elena squeezed her eyes, tried to focus on her entry but she felt like she was being pulled in two different directions.

_When I danced with him tonight… there was a spark. ~~And I didn’t like it. I don’t like him. I don’t want to like him. He’s sadistic, cruel, arrogant, and selfish. And I could never be in love with someone like him.~~_

Elena took out her frustration on her own written words and growled, freezing suddenly a moment later as Caroline began to stir in the bed next to her.

“Hey, you’re back,” Caroline mumbled as she rubbed sleep from her eyes. “How was the fancy dinner with the med school crowd? Did you and Liam have fun?” she asked.

Elena cringed. She’d completely forgotten about Liam. “I ditched him.”

“What?” Caroline exclaimed.

“Damon swooped in, asked me to dance with him—”

Elena hadn’t even finished her sentence before Caroline jumped right in. “Ugh! Of course, he did. Already up to his old tricks.”

Elena didn’t remember what those old tricks were supposed to be, but she didn’t like Caroline’s tone or the insinuation.

“No, Caroline,” Elena disagreed, “it’s not like that. I asked him to leave the party with me. And he was actually a perfect gentleman. He… I think… Actually, I think he just dumped me.”

Caroline’s mouth formed an O-shape, but no sound came out. She caught herself quickly and asked, voice carefully neutral, “And how do you feel about that?”

“I’m not sure,” Elena admitted. Elena collapsed onto her bed, overwhelmed by the evening’s progression. She allowed herself to be weak in front of Caroline. “I don’t know, Care,” she whispered. “He says I’m better off without him and I thought that’s what I wanted – for him to leave me alone. But I feel like I’m letting someone else make decisions for me. I want to trust myself but there’s two voices in my head. One of them makes me curious – what must this love have felt like to destroy me so completely when it was lost? I don’t have many relationships to look back on to compare. But even at the deepest I’ve ever loved Stefan, I would have never given up our memories or have that love compelled away. So, does that mean that my love for Damon was worth less, that the memories we’d made together didn’t mean as much? Because I decided I would want to live without them? But if they were less, then I might as well have kept them. Or does that mean that they were more? And then I have to wonder – what must that feel like? Because I can’t imagine. I can’t imagine loving someone more than I loved Stefan. Loving someone so much that it tears your soul apart? That’s not something that comes along every day, right? And if that was the case… then why would one ever choose to forget it? Who would ever be so stupid to give up on a love like that? So, yeah, I don’t know which of those Elenas to trust. I’m sorry. I’m rambling.”

Caroline looked at Elena with pity in her eyes. “I wish Bonnie was here,” Caroline muttered.

“Why?”

“Because she’d know what to say.”

“And you don’t?”

“I don’t like Damon,” Caroline reminded her.

“Neither do I,” Elena replied. “At least I thought so up until a few hours ago.”

“Okay,” Caroline said. She took a deep breath. “Here’s what I know: Elena, everything changed when you became a vampire and I don’t know how much of that was due to Damon. And then, when he died and you had your shared history compelled away, I thought I’d lost you again. But you’ve gotten better lately. You’ve met Liam. You’ve started smiling again. I’m afraid if you go back to Damon, all the progress you’ve made will be lost again. You’ll be caught in his web again and I don’t want to see history repeating itself.”

Elena was quiet for a long time after that.

“It didn’t help, did it?” Caroline quietly asked.

Elena smiled at her but didn’t reply.

“Go to sleep. Things usually look clearer in the light of day,” Caroline advised.

“Yeah,” Elena replied in a non-committal way. “Good night, Care.”

“Night.”

Elena went back to staring at the page in her journal. She picked up the pen again and wrote a last line before closing it and shutting off the light on her nightstand.

_I want to know him._

***

Elena turned around in her bed, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. She couldn’t stop tossing around. She beat her pillow into submission, growled her frustration into her balled up blanket and with a low growl sat up, leaning against the headboard. The ghost of a memory played on repeat in her mind. A dazzling smile, eyes burning with unrestrained passion and… dare she say it? …Love. And all of it focused on her. But no matter how hard she tried to chase the elusive memory, it always slipped away from her. It was driving her nuts. Her skin itched, like something was crawling underneath. She kicked the blankets off, annoyed by the way she felt suffocated under them. Glancing across to the other bed, she saw Caroline sleeping peacefully once again. Elena chewed her lower lip while she debated with herself and finally grabbed her phone from the nightstand.

She tried not to think about what she was doing, lest she would stop herself. Instead, she scrolled quickly through the contact list and hit dial.

It only took two rings before the voice on the other side of the line answered. “I’m drunk enough that I actually can’t tell if this phone is really ringing with your name on display or if I’m imagining it,” the voice drunkenly mumbled.

“Can you come get me?” Elena asked, ignoring the rest.

There was only a moment’s pause and Elena could practically hear him turning serious, could practically see him sobering up and his face making way for a concerned frown. “I’ll be right there,” he said.

“Thanks, Damon.” She ended the call, feeling relief that, despite his earlier decision to walk away, he had answered immediately and hadn’t asked questions.

***

A little over an hour later, an unfamiliar car rolled up to the curb where she sat, her arms slung around her knees. She watched him through the windshield, wondering what he must think of her. Was he wondering why she was acting like this or had she always been this impulsive around him? But she was so tired of thinking. She just wanted the thoughts to stop.

Instead of getting out of the car, she saw him lean over and a second later the passenger door opened up right in front of her. She made eye contact with him one more time, then got up and into the car.

Before he could ask her, she said, “Just drive?”

He wordlessly pulled away from the curb and into the quiet and empty streets of the night.

There was a song playing on the radio, an atmospheric, low beat that seemed made for a nightly ride. And she felt herself relax for the first time all night. Her thoughts finally coming to a halt. Her lungs finally able to breathe without feeling like she was moments away from a panic attack. She didn’t dare think why just being in the same car as him had this effect on her. Less than 24 hours ago she’d told Caroline that the only thing she felt in his presence was fear and repulsion.

Now, she couldn’t even imagine being afraid of him.

She relaxed into the comfy leather seat and let the quiet of the night take over. She didn’t know where they were and it didn’t matter. All she could see was the space in front of the car that was illuminated by the headlights. For the moment, the rest of the world didn’t exist. She turned her head to watch Damon as he drove, the lights from the controls illuminating his face in ghostly shadows, his profile in a sharp relief. Testing a theory, she reached out to take his hand that rested on the shifting gear and intertwined her fingers with his. He glanced over at her in obvious surprise and squeezed her hand once but didn’t say a word, for which she was grateful.

She pulled their entwined hands into her lap and covered them with her other hand.

They continued driving like this, the darkness of the night their silent companion.

***

She didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually, Damon asked, voice low in the quiet atmosphere, “Hungry?”

She looked up and saw that he had slowed down slightly; there was an unfamiliar looking all-night diner in the near distance. She shook her head. “No.”

He nodded and accelerated past it. The music changed to a yet another song – a woman’s voice among an orchestra, powerful yet sensual.

“Can we go to sleep?” she asked, finally feeling tired.

He looked over at her, nodded again, and replied, “Sure. You want to head back to campus?”

She paused before answering. “No. I… I don’t know where I want to go. But I don’t want to go back to my dorm room.”

“Okay.”

Gently he tucked his hand free from her grip, needing it to shift gears as he turned the car around and sped away into the direction they had just come from. When the car accelerated, his hand returned to her lap, palm resting warmly on her thigh. Elena smiled at the calm and the warmth that was spreading from it and closed her eyes.

She must have dozed off because the next thing she remembered she was jolting awake at the soft sound of a car door falling shut. She was disoriented for a second before she noticed strong arms around her and his familiar scent. It shouldn’t have felt familiar but it did and she was too tired to question it, so she simply pressed her nose deeper into Damon’s shoulder as he carried her through the door and up to a bedroom. She was still groggy but definitely awake now and didn’t need to be carried, but his arms felt safe around her and the itchy restlessness under her skin had finally abated and Elena wanted to enjoy it for a moment longer.

Ever since Stefan had spilled the beans about her erasing Damon from her memories, everybody was constantly telling her that those arms were the ones she had belonged to, had _wanted_ and missed to a degree that it broke her when they were gone. And she had been ready to find out what it was that she’d chosen to forget. But now that this option was gone, she didn’t know how to handle it. She couldn’t even tell what felt worse – having the choice taken away from her or never being able to find out what it was that made their relationship so extraordinary that she couldn’t handle living without it.

And then there was this elusive picture of them in her mind, less than a memory but more than a dream: pouring rain and an intoxicating smile. Her thoughts began jumping from one impossible dream to the next – all of which were gone now for good because Alaric was human again.  
Was she sad? Was she relieved? Neither? Both? Feeling guilty – for feeling it, for thinking it, or for causing it? All of the above? Her head hurt.

“Go back to sleep,” Damon murmured in a low voice as he lowered her onto the mattress. Elena’s tired eyes scanned the room. It was plainly furnished, a typical motel room, nothing like the Salvatore mansion that was just one more thing she couldn’t go back to.

Dimly, she was aware of Damon slipping the boots off her feet and trying to free her from the jacket she had thrown over her dress while she had waited for him to pick her up in front of her dorm. She didn’t bother open her eyes even as she felt the sheets being drawn over her. Damon’s weight disappeared from the mattress as he stood up and turned away.

She heard the faint rustle of clothes and opened her eyes. She watched as he slipped off his own leather jacket and draped it over the back of a stuffed chair in the corner. He massaged the back of his neck as he walked into the adjoining bathroom and stopped in front of the sink. She could see his profile through the open door. He washed his face, his hands, and then gripped the edges of the sink as he stood there staring at himself in the mirror. A pang went through Elena’s heart. He was hurting and it was her fault. She had the power to stop him from being in pain and she had chosen not to do it until it was too late. And now they both had to live with the consequences.

He seemed to shake himself from the reverie and rubbed his palms roughly across his face. Next grabbing his shirt, he pulled it over his head and threw it carelessly into the corner. Then he reached for the buttons on his jeans and, after undoing a few of them, stopped and turned to glance at the bed.

He caught her staring but Elena didn’t dare look away. Their eyes met and neither of them moved, even her breath was frozen in her chest. Something ached, a ghost of another lived memory. A sliver of a smooth chest and muscles working as he swallowed an amber liquid, an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar city, the darkness of night, and a sharp, powerful sting of pure _want_. As soon as the picture came it was gone again and Elena couldn’t be sure if it was a fantasy or a memory. It didn’t much matter at this point. Her reaction to him standing there was easily explained. She didn’t need her memories to recognize that Damon was attractive, or even to admit that her body hummed with anticipation in his presence.

Nevertheless, it made her break the eye contact and turn her face into the pillow. She heard Damon take off his jeans and come over to the bed wearing nothing but black briefs. He didn’t look at her as he slipped under the covers on his side of the bed and lay down on his back, one arm behind his head. He was staring at the ceiling and she was staring at him.

“For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry,” she felt the need to whisper.

He turned his face towards her and smiled briefly. “I know you are.”

“Doesn’t make it easier though, does it?” she replied.

He smiled again but this time the smile looked more real. “Not much between us was ever easy. But every second of it was worth it.”

Her lips parted on a silent sigh as, for a moment, something massive tugged at her insides. It was quick – gone almost as soon as she noticed, but for a second, only a second, she not only heard but _felt_ the truth behind his words and she knew what that tugging was: longing. To know a love so complete, so all-encompassing, you’d cross hell dimensions for it.

As if not in control of her own limbs, she reached out and touched his naked shoulder. He took her palm and placed a gentle kiss on her fingertips before returning her hand to her own pillow, breaking the contact and whispering, “Good night, Elena.”

“Good night.”

His eyes closed and as his breathing evened out, he fell asleep. She tucked her hand under her cheek and continued to watch him, torn between the thoughts in her head which she could no longer trust and which insisted that he was a monster and the truth she was seeing now: the gentleness of his touch, the honesty in his eyes. And she had to admit that, no matter how hard she tried, Damon Salvatore was no longer a villain in her story. She didn’t know exactly what he was, but for the first time since the news of him coming back broke, she was looking forward to finding out. She fell asleep with a hopeful smile on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Elena woke up disoriented. She sat up and looked around. The room was unfamiliar and the bed, while comfortable, definitely not hers. The moment before she could panic, a warm hand wrapped loosely around her wrist. 

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” 

The voice was sleep-heavy and did something indescribable to Elena’s insides. But his touch was reassuring, calming. Even the fact that she was in this man’s bed – not quite a stranger but not familiar enough to be sharing a bed with, didn’t really bother her, even though, rationally, it should have. 

She had the fleeting thought that, even though her mind didn’t remember him, her body instinctively knew not to be afraid. That she was safe in his presence. She decided to trust her instincts. Her head would simply have to catch up. 

“Tell me something about us,” she asked, sinking back into the pillows. 

“I thought we tried that last night,” he declined and added with a grimace, “Didn’t. Work.” 

Elena bit her lip, thinking. “Not the milestones then. Something casual, something easy. What kind of relationship did we have?” 

Damon smirked and, lifting a corner of her blanket, leered exaggeratedly at her even though she was fully clothed underneath. “A very physically satisfying one.” 

Elena rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Yeah, I sort of assumed that,” she replied. “But that’s not what I meant. Describe it to me. Were we the stay-in kinda couple? Did we go on adventures? Were we open with each other, did we used to talk about everything? Did we have fun?” 

“Yes. All of the above. We went on dates, we spent nights on the couch, we went on trips. The ‘what we did’ didn’t much matter as long as we did it together.” 

“Sounds perfect,” Elena wistfully sighed. 

Damon almost snorted in reply. “I’m sure ‘most everyone would agree that we were anything but. But… We liked each other’s company.” Damon paused as if to find the right words. “I’m not sure about the talk-about-everything one. I tried to be honest with you, but I wasn’t always. I’m impulsive and you’re stubborn. You’d yell at me whenever you found out that I did something horrible. I’d refuse to apologize. You’d try to make excuses for me which then made me feel bad about what I did, even though I’d still do it again. I would yell at you that this was who I am and that I’d never change and that I was not my brother. We both agreed that we don’t work. We tried to break up. A few times. Break-ups never lasted long though,” he added the last bit with a secret smile full of reminiscence. 

“And the good parts?” 

Damon debated how honest he should be and decided to go with his gut. He stared her straight in the eyes as he said, “It’s not true that we don’t work. We don’t work like other people expect us to. It just took us some time to find the pace that works for _us_ , beyond other people’s expectations of what a functioning relationship should look like. If they’d all just left us alone, we would have found our footing sooner.” 

“And what did that eventually look like?” 

“We were about to find out when it all went downhill.” 

“But you spent 4 months alone on the other side; you must have thought about it.” 

Damon thought for a minute, knowing what he wanted to say, but again not entirely sure if he should be saying it. But four months’ worth of talking it through with Bonnie made him realize something. And, he decided in the spur of the moment, Elena had a right to know. “Slightly dysfunctional but entirely devoted to each other. Maybe we are a bit too co-dependent, we don’t forgive easily, we love too hard, but again – who wants to be the judge of that? Where you are too selfless, I am selfish. I am doing the wrong thing for the right reasons whereas you will simply do the right thing, with no regard to yourself. Which is why I’m always going to put you above everyone else because you won’t. Together, we find balance. It’s only when we’re not together that we crash and burn. Sometimes spectacularly so. I present, exhibit A,” Damon added with a smirk, motioning towards Elena and encompassing all of her amnesiac self with his gesture. 

“Hey!” Elena protested. 

“As evidenced by the fact that you chose to forget all about it,” Damon returned. 

“Okay, touché,” Elena admitted, laughing. 

“If you try to understand us with your head, you will fail. Because nobody has ever understood us,” Damon continued, more subdued now. “Nobody knows why you’re with me. People assume it’s either just sex or that you’re not yourself. That you changed after becoming a vampire.” 

“Did I?” 

Damon took a moment to really think about it. “I used to think so because everybody kept saying it. But looking back on it now? No, you didn’t change. Not to me. You were always strong-willed and passionate and _good_.” He threw away the blankets and got out of bed, throwing on his clothes from yesterday. Making his way to a sideboard across the room, he raided the meager minibar and drained a mini bottle of vodka. With another tiny bottle he motioned to Elena in a silent question. She declined with a shake of her head. 

After taking a sip, he continued, “You’re kind to a fault and too generous with your love, ready to lay down your life for your friends and your family.” He came back to bed with the last two miniature bottles in hand and sat down heavily. “You were all those things before and you still are all those things after. It wasn’t being a vampire that changed you, it was time. Time passes, things happen, we react, we adapt, we learn. That’s called growing up, evolving. Whether you drink blood for breakfast has nothing to do with it. Human Elena loved me; the only difference was that vampire Elena admitted it.” 

“It’s weird,” she said with a humorless laugh, “that there’s this person that I barely know,” she motioned towards him, “that seems to know me better than I know myself.” Because it was the truth. Everything he had said, whether she remembered it or not, rang true with her. 

“I’ve known you for a long time, Elena,” he reminded her. “Longer than my brother has.” 

“How did Stefan cope with us being together? How are you still on speaking terms? He must have hated me when…”

“Nah,” Damon waved her concerns away. “Or maybe a little, at the beginning. But Elena, my brother is incapable of hating you. And also, it’s been a long time in the making. Though it took him a while to catch on. He can be obtuse at times. For the longest time, Stefan thought I came back to Mystic Falls to fuck with his new life just for the fun of it. Took him forever to realize that I was there because of you. I’m not gonna lie – there were more than just a few fights, punches thrown, stakes and other sharp objects plunged into bodies, alliances made and broken, harsh words exchanged. But in the end…” Damon sighed. “Well. He was the one who pep-talked me into getting you back when I broke up with you, so I’m going to take it as a sign that he overcame his hatred of me, or us. The general consensus seems to be that you’re good for me, I guess?” He grimaced and Elena grinned. His obvious reluctance to admitting it was weirdly charming. “If nothing else, that’s the one thing your friends seemed to agree on,” he finished. 

“Is that an act or do you really not like my friends?” 

Damon gave her an ‘oh, please’ look. “I’ve known Matt Donovan for a few years now and I am still absolutely in the dark about what makes him worthy of your loyalty. Name one redeeming quality he has. Just one! And Caroline? She’s a hypocrite whose favorite hobby is to judge people and be shallow. And Bonnie? Well she’s just plain nosy, way too chatty, and an overall annoying know-it-all with a helper complex a mile wide. And now that I think about it, that is so not the way to get on your good side again. Any chance you could forget the last few minutes? We can ask Alaric if he can compel you to forget them too.” 

“You said ‘is’.” 

“What?” 

“You said ‘is’ when you were talking about Bonnie just now. Like she was still here.” 

“Uhmm,” Damon’s face contorted as he realized his mistake. 

“Damon, what are you not telling me?” 

Damon cursed silently. “There’s something I’ve got to show you.” 

Elena looked bewildered as he got up and walked all the way out of the room. From the bed she could see him make his way to the parked car and get something out of the backseat. When he came inside again, he was holding an unzipped backpack. Of all the things Elena expected Damon to pull from it, a teddy bear was not one of them. 

“That’s Miss Cuddles. She’s Bonnie’s,” Elena spoke, voice breaking. 

“I know.” Damon sighed and said, “Listen, I think there’s something you need to know about where I spent the last four months—”

***

“I’m going with you,” Elena stated once Damon was done with his story. 

“What? No, you’re not!” Damon looked at her as though she was crazy. “I meant what I said last night about you being better off without me. I humored your walk down memory lane because I understand the frustration of having your choice to get your memories back taken away from you and you needed closure. But it doesn’t change anything. Look at you – you finally have the normal life you always wanted. Okay, almost normal,” he amended. “But you’re happy. And all I ever wanted for you is to be happy. Granted, I wished more than anything that you’d be happy with me, but in the end, what really counts is that you are. The ‘with me’ part would have been just the cherry on top. It’s the rest that is the important part, the part where _you are happy_. I am not going to risk it. So, no, Elena. As much ‘fun’ as these last few hours have been, I’m going to drive you back to campus and you’re going back to your life.” 

“But—” Elena began to protest. 

“I will get Bonnie back, if there is even the slightest chance. I promise you that. But in the meantime, you’re going to go live your life without me.” 

Elena looked on the verge of tears. She felt like what little warmth she gained since last night’s horrible events was being pulled from under her feet. She felt cold settle in in her veins and with it, a rising terror, even though she didn’t completely understand why. “No!” 

“Yes,” he insisted, “I’m getting you back to your dorm and that’s it.” He grabbed his phone and tucked it into his jeans pocket, threw her hers and motioned for her to get up and get ready to leave. “You’re going back to your perfect life, you’ll be the perfect student, and with any luck you won’t have to see me ever again.” 

“No! No, no, no, no, no.” She almost cried as she was seized by an inexplicable blind panic. “No, Damon. You promised me forever!” 

It made Damon stop in his tracks and stare at her. She didn’t understand what she had said to make him look as if he’d seen a ghost, but he was staring intently at her, head tilted, eyes turned to slits. 

“How do you know that?” Damon asked. 

“What?” she replied, not understanding. 

“Do you remember?” he urged. 

“I… I don’t know.” She closed her eyes, tried to chase the shadow of something in her mind but there was nothing. Nothing, except… She tilted her head, listening. “It’s raining,” she said, still with her eyes closed. 

Damon glanced towards the door that he had left open from his short trip to the car. Outside, the sun shone down from a clear blue sky, promising a golden fall day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here and throughout the story the flashbacks are in _italics_. Hopefully, it'll make following the jumps back and forth easier.

Elena walked across campus, her thoughts miles away. When Damon had dropped her off, he’d seemed subdued somehow. They hadn’t really talked a lot after they checked out of the motel and Elena was not really sure where exactly they stood on the whole ‘you’re better off without me’ business though he absolutely refused to take her with him on what he called a simple reconnaissance mission. Despite his proclaimed low hopes of success, he was taking Stefan and Alaric. She desperately wanted to go with them.

Part of her wanted to join Damon because of Bonnie. If there was even the faint possibility of getting her back, then Elena wanted to help. But another part of her wanted to join him to make sure he wouldn’t walk away from her. Rationally, his argument that she was better off without him made sense to her. But the sheer panic she felt at the prospect made her tremble. It was another one of those reactions she did not understand. It was less than an inner voice; more like an insistent scratch in the back of her mind. Not unlike a shirt tag that would chafe her neck if she turned or moved a certain way, only it wasn’t physical. And whenever she tried to follow the ghostly presence, it disappeared into the black recesses of her mind. She was coming to realize that those were probably the repressed memories fighting to break through but she had no control over it, no way to force them to the surface.

She really needed to go talk to Alaric once he returned from Damon’s mission. Fortunately, Caroline’s friendsgiving dinner would provide enough of a distraction for now; at least Elena hoped so.

***

“Can I see you?” Elena asked as soon as Damon picked up his phone.

“Aren’t you supposed to be having a Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Yeah, it ended early,” she replied impatiently. “So, can I?”

Damon sighed and she knew exactly that he was debating whether to shoot her down and follow through with his stupid idea of staying away from her.

“Don’t, Damon,” she said before he could, “don’t tell me it’s better for me if we don’t or that we shouldn’t.”

He was quiet for so long that she had to check her phone to make sure the call hadn’t disconnected. “I’m at the bar,” he finally said.

She ended the call and grabbed her bag and her car keys on her way out. She needed to tell Damon that she broke up with Liam and, more importantly, he needed to know that she was ready to trust her instincts. And they were telling her to trust Damon. What she had felt for him had been the most real thing she had ever felt. That was what he had told her, the first night he came back. She didn’t believe him then. But she did now. She could feel the truth beneath those words even though she didn’t feel them right now. Until then she would trust that other Elena that did. She would risk the safe happy life for the faint glimmer of a chance at something more. And Damon needed to know that.

***

Even if they hadn’t managed to retrieve Bonnie from the prison world, Elena was still riding the high from having spoken to her on the phone and from the simple knowledge that she was alive. They would figure out the rest. Kai was a complication, but they’d figure out how to deal with him, too. She felt like, right now, they’d be able to handle pretty much anything the universe decided to throw at them. Because even though she still couldn’t remember anything concerning her life with Damon yet – the memories stubbornly remained hidden – she finally felt like she was on the right track. Even though only a few days ago she hadn’t thought it was possible, but being around Damon was fun, it was easy, and it felt right, like her soul recognized him even if she herself didn’t. She just knew that something inside her relaxed whenever she was near him.

She shook her head and tried to concentrate on her reading assignment. It was ridiculous; she was behaving like a teenage girl who had a crush for the first time. Not that she had a crush on Damon; she did not! She was simply relieved that they somehow had managed to carve a space for themselves in their crazy lives from where to start anew.

Her phone ringing interrupted Elena’s early morning musings. She glanced at the display – it was Damon. She was surprised. After all, they had spent the whole day together yesterday; she didn’t think she would hear from him again so soon.

“How quickly can you put together a Sixties outfit?” Damon asked, not bothering with a greeting.

“Nineteen sixties?” Elena asked because with a boyfriend from the eighteen hundreds one could never be sure. And yes, she was going to ignore the fact that she just referred to him as her boyfriend, even if only in her head.

“Yes, 1960-ies. Summer of 1963, to be exact.”

“That’s oddly specific. Why do I need an outfit?”

“Because I’m taking you to a party tonight. And it’s themed.”

“Like the decade dance?”

“Sort of, only more specific. Think Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze. So, outfit - you good?”

“I guess I can throw together something, yeah.”

“Great. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

Damon had promised her new memories. It seemed like he was serious about following through on his promise.

***

“Where are we going?” Elena asked as she slid into the passenger seat of a shiny silver Corvette. She had no idea whose car it was or how Damon got it but she had an inkling that she didn’t want to know.

“It’s a surprise,” Damon replied. His eyes slid all over her and he leaned in for what Elena thought would be a kiss and she held her breath in expectation. But he simply reached for her seat belt and buckled her in. Before he moved back, he nosed along the shell of her ear and whispered, “You look beautiful, by the way.” His eyes slid over her outfit – cutoff jeans shorts and a salmon colored neck holder top. She hoped it wasn’t too casual, but Damon seemed impressed.

He reclined back in his seat and started the engine while Elena was left to catch her breath which was a mistake because his scent was all around her, clean and spicy. She tried to focus on breathing evenly, willing her heartbeat to slow down; willing him not to hear how fast it was beating. For a second there she really had wanted him to kiss her.

“So, it’s a Dirty Dancing themed party?”

“Kind of.”

“Come on, Damon. Tell me.”

“God, I forgot how annoying you could be,” Damon sighed but the grin on his face betrayed him. “It’s a dance-a-thon. It’s outside this little town called Mountain Lake and they have them every year. And yes, it’s a Dirty Dancing dance-a-thon. They filmed part of the movie close by. So this is where we’re going.” He glanced over at her. “It’s a bit of a drive, so lean back, relax, and enjoy the ride.”

“How do you even know about it?”

“I may be a bit of a fan.” He glanced over when Elena didn’t reply and said, “What? It’s a great movie.”

Elena chuckled.

She was in a car with a man of whom she only had bad memories, on her way to a Dirty Dancing dance event – the same man that all her friend had warned her about was a monster but with whom she felt perfectly safe nonetheless. She couldn’t get over how much her life had spun out of control in the last few days. And she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.

***

Elena sank into the grass next to Damon, exhausted and exhilarated, and leaned her head on his shoulder. His arm came to rest naturally around her waist. They had danced for hours. Elena couldn’t remember the last time she had this much fun or the last time she had laughed this much. It was a little after midnight and from their perch on the sloped hill they had a beautiful view of the square below them. Thousands of twinkling lights spun overhead illuminated the dancing couples, many of whom competed for the last-couple-standing title but most of which just joined for fun for a dance or two before doing the same she and Damon had done: reclining in the cool grass and allowing the night breeze to cool their heated bodies.

Elena lifted her hair to cool off the sweat from her neck. Damon swept away the fine hairs that stuck to her skin and leaned in, blowing lightly. Elena’s whole body erupted in goosebumps and Damon’s nose stroked along the elegant line of her neck.

“Damon, no. I’m all sweaty and gross,” she protested half-heartedly.

“No, you’re not,” he replied and pressed his lips to her heated flesh, drawing a line of kisses down to her shoulder.

“Thank you for bringing me here. This was amazing,” she said, speaking quietly.

“The pleasure was all mine,” he answered.

“I didn’t know you could dance like that. I didn’t know you could dance, at all.”

“To be fair, there’s a lot you don’t know about me right now.”

“True,” Elena admitted, congratulating herself on sounding only a little wistful.

“We used to dance a lot,” Damon told her. “Seems like there was some kind of party or ball every other week in Mystic Falls. My brother was never much of a dancer but you’ve always liked it. And I… I just love dancing with you.”

Elena bit her lip, but decided to bring it up nonetheless. “Like at the Founder’s Ball?”

Damon tilted his head and looked at her. “You remember that?”

“No,” Elena admitted. “I talked to Alaric today. He said this was one of the memories he compelled away. Us dancing at the Miss Mystic Falls ball. He said that’s when he knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That there was something between us.”

Damon was silent for the longest time, staring straight ahead at the happy couples below. Elena hesitated a second, but then decided to follow her instinct and reached out to run a hand through his hair.

“He asked me to tell you that he’s sorry. He said he didn’t want to betray you, but he couldn’t watch me suffer any longer. He said to tell you he’s still your friend, even though he’s angry with you right now for compelling him.”

Shaking off the momentary funk, Damon rose to his feet and grabbed Elena’s hands to pull her up to her feet as well. “Let’s go,” he said.

“I don’t think I can dance anymore,” Elena replied, but laughed and followed anyway.

But he led her away from the dance floor and in the direction of their parked car. “On to the next part of the date.”

“Which is?”

“There’s a midnight food festival on the other side of town and I know how much you love junk food.”

Elena smiled and kissed him soundly on the cheek. He looked at her and smiled back. Elena felt drunk on happiness and light as a feather, but at the same time anchored to something bigger than herself. She hugged Damon’s arm as they made their way to the parking lot, and leaned heavily on him. Damon gently squeezed her hand in response.

***

“Elena!”

Elena stopped when she heard her name and turned around, seeing her friend jogging towards her across campus. “Hey, Caroline.”

“Hey, it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever. Since…” Caroline broke off, shook it off and tried anew, “You haven’t been in our dorm room the past few nights, have you? Or have we missed each other?”

“Yeah, no,” Elena drawled. “I spent the last few nights with Damon.” She grimaced, bracing herself for Caroline’s reaction.

“What? Elena!”

“Don’t start, Caroline. Please.”

“You were finally happy again. What about Liam? Things were going great.”

“I broke it off with Liam.”

“I see,” Caroline replied tersely.

“Don’t judge, Care. I’m just…” Elena was at a loss for words.

“Just what? Slipping back into old bad habits?”

“That’s not fair. I have this huge chunk of my life that I’m missing but you all know about and being around Damon helps. And we’re not slipping back into any old habits. We’re trying to figure out how to get Bonnie back, that’s all. Nothing happened.”

“ _Yet_ ,” Caroline sneered. “We all know you can’t resist him. You never could.”

“I don’t get it. Weren’t you the one who lectured me on having my memories erased?”

“That was before.”

“Before what?”

“Before I realized that it could be a good thing. I had lost Bonnie and after Alaric compelled you, you were this shell of a friend. It was it was like I had lost you too and I just couldn’t stand losing you both. But then you met Liam and everything had started to look up. You were the old Elena again. I finally had my friend back.”

“Yes, you told me that already and I understand. But, Care, this is not about you.”

“I’m guessing that’s the problem,” a voice broke in. Elena and Caroline both whipped around to see Damon leaning against the post of a notice board nearby. “That’s what’s really bothering you, right, Caroline?” He pushed away from the column and slowly stalked towards them, eyes hard on Caroline’s. “That it’s never about you.”

“Shut up, Damon. Nobody asked for your opinion,” Caroline threw back, annoyed at his presence.

“Nobody asked for yours either,” he returned. “Doesn’t seem to stop you from offering one though, does it?”

Caroline and Damon stared at each other, one with a cruel smirk, the other with fury in her eyes. The air crackled with tension.

Elena tried to intervene. “Guys, come on.” She tried to pull Caroline away, but she shook off Elena’s arm.

“You got something to say?” Caroline challenged, eyes never leaving Damon’s, “say it.”

Damon shrugged dismissively. “Only the obvious. It all goes back to the beginning. Stefan shows up in Mystic Falls but no matter how hard you try, he just doesn’t seem to have any interest in you, so you throw yourself at me. But I didn’t want you either, at least not in the way you hoped. Then it was Matt Donovan, but he doesn’t like vampires all that much, does he? So off onto Tyler fucking Lockwood it is; unfortunately, he seems to care more for his pack and his revenge plans than for you. Another loss for Caroline Forbes who’s never anyone’s number one. Except for Klaus, of course. Who just so happens to be a murderous sociopath, not really relationship material. But good enough for a romp in the woods, right? And who is the next unlucky recipient of your attentions? Have we come full circle and it’s back to Stefan again?”

“Damon,” Elena interjected angrily, her eyes firmly on Caroline who looked ready to commit murder.

“No, Elena,” Damon hissed. “I’ve had it up to here with everyone and their uncle having an opinion on us. I don’t know where the hell she gets off judging you. Or anyone really.”

“Damon!” Elena bellowed to shut him up which, to her surprise, he did. “Caroline,” Elena said much calmer and stepped closer to her friend, but Caroline raised a hand, making her stop. Elena didn’t dare move closer. She watched as Caroline struggled for a reply, her face going from furious to broken. For a moment, Elena thought she would attack Damon, but she simply turned around and stormed away. Elena saw her furiously wipe tears away from her face as she watched her friend leave.

Then she turned around and fixed Damon with a hard stare. “That was harsh, Damon,” she accused.

Damon shook his head, refusing to apologize. “Was I wrong?” he countered. When Elena didn’t reply, he added, “She can go and fuck every guy who crosses her path but you fall in love with me and have to defend yourself for all of eternity?”

Elena sighed. “I don’t want to get into it now. I am missing some crucial memories to respond adequately.”

“Let’s just say, this was long overdue.”

“You hurt her,” Elena replied.

“She hurt you first. And not for the first time either.”

Elena took a deep breath. “Can we just agree to disagree? What are you even doing here on campus?”

“Came to see Alaric.”

“Why?” Elena asked surprised.

“You need to ask?”

***

_Alaric was interrupted in the middle of his lecture by the appearance of a new listener. Damon’s presence in his lecture hall couldn’t possibly mean good news. Ric tried to pick up where he left off but it was difficult under Damon’s smirking gaze. Thankfully, Damon left only after a minute, but not without sending a very meaningful look in Alaric’s direction. Alaric hurried to finish the lecture, finishing a few minutes earlier, to the cheers of his students._

_He hurried to his office as soon as he could get away._

_“Tell me about the memory compulsion, every little detail. I need to know exactly what you said or did to my girlfriend,” Damon demanded without even so much as a hello as soon as Alaric appeared in the door._

_“Is that what she is?” Alaric countered and ignored Damon as the man tore through every desk drawer and storage box in the office. Alaric put his bag down on his desk and sank down in his chair._

_“No thanks to you,” Damon replied. “Your taste in Bourbon is abysmal,” he added after he had searched every drawer and produced only one, non-branded, bottle._

_“You could, you know,_ not _drink it,” Alaric drily replied._

 _“Ha!” Damon gave back. “You could have, you know,_ not _compelled my girlfriend.”_

_“She asked me to.”_

_“She was desperate and heartbroken – not the best foundation for life-altering decisions.”_

_“We’ve been over this,” Alaric answered, tiredly rubbing his eyes, for one because he was tired of apologizing for the same thing over and over again, but also because he was still getting used to how exhausting some days were for a freshly turned human former vampire._

_“Why hasn’t she still recovered any of the memories?” Damon asked point blank. “Everybody knows any compulsion, even that of an Original, can be broken when the feelings are strong enough. And don’t give me any shit about how that probably means that Elena’s feelings aren’t. Or mine for that matter. Because I know they are. She and I? We are the definition of true love and nobody will ever convince me otherwise.”_

_“Maybe it just takes time.”_

_Damon shook his head. “No. Something’s wrong. Why wasn’t the compulsion broken when you turned human again?”_

_“If I had to hazard a guess,” Alaric began._

_“Hazard away,” Damon interrupted him._

_Alaric send him an acerbic stare and continued, “Compulsion was only part of it. We decided to use a technique from the field of psychological studies. Part of it was hypnotherapy, another part was reprogramming how the brain processes memories. I used the compulsion mostly only to speed things along and to make them stick. But the rewiring of the brain – that is basically not tied to the compulsion. Which is probably why she didn’t hear the angel choir sing when she laid eyes on you. Assuming of course, she wasn’t just with you for the sex,” Alaric couldn’t help but add the barb._

_Damon’s only reaction was to narrow his eyes and take another gulp of Bourbon straight from the bottle._

_“You called her your girlfriend.”_

_Damon shrugged, not seeing the need to reply. So, Alaric continued, “I’m assuming that means you’re together again, which is what you wanted. Then why does this matter to you so much still?”_

_Damon pressed the bottle to his forehead, debating how much of himself to lay bare. He went for the truth. “I am still me. Eventually I’m gonna do or say something unforgivable and she’ll know again what a terrible person I am. If, or rather, when that happens, I want her to remember why we’re worth holding on to.”_

_“You’re afraid she’ll think you’re too much hassle,” Alaric guessed._

_Another shrug. Then, “Stefan is right there and unlike her memories of us, she remembers exactly how perfect of a boyfriend he used to be.”_

_Alaric laughed; he couldn’t help it. “Insecurity doesn’t suit you, my friend.” Damon obviously didn’t see the humor in it. “She fell in love with you once. If you are meant to be, she will again.” When that didn’t convince Damon either, Alaric, turning serious, said, “Damon, Elena and Stefan had the universe on their side and still she chose you. Repeatedly. I don’t think there exist forces strong enough to keep you two apart.”_

_Damon thought this over for a second. He lifted the bottle as a nod in Alaric’s direction, took a last swallow and put it down on the sideboard next to the door. “I need to go find my girl,” he said._

_“Are you sure she hasn’t?” Alaric called after him. “Recovered any memories,” he clarified at Damon’s quizzical look._

_Damon’s eyes narrowed in contemplation. “I thought there was something… about the night we drove out to see the meteor shower but…” His face cleared. “I don’t know. But maybe you were right. Maybe, if I do it right, it doesn’t need to matter, huh?”_

***

“Well, the short version is, you’re not going to magically remember everything Alaric made you forget.”

Elena looked down at her feet, the irrational guilt she always felt when she was reminded that this was a situation of her own doing, returned with a vengeance. Some nights, when the guilt and the not knowing grew too large to bear, she considered driving over the border into Mystic Falls again. Yes, she’d be risking dying, but she remembered the last time she crossed the border. Damon had pulled her back and as soon as he had, everything was forgotten again. But even though she hadn’t managed to retain a single memory from that experiment, she had glimpsed the sheer amount of things and feelings that Alaric had compelled her to forget. It was massive and the thought of it was staggering.

“But hey, that’s good news,” Damon continued, seeing her disdain, “we can start new. A clean slate for both of us. And when I fuck up, and hey, we both know I will sooner or later, at least you’ll have no scale to measure it against.”

Elena smiled sadly. “What if I am the one to screw up?”

“Meh. I’ll chalk it up to your brain being muddled due to the compulsion.”

“So, basically, I’ve a free shot?” Elena smirked.

“Exactly.”

Elena leaned into Damon’s side as they walked across campus, wrapping both hands around his arm, head on his shoulder.

“Can’t believe you did research,” Elena muttered.

She felt Damon shrug. “The woman I love and plan to spend the rest of eternity with goes and forgets all about me. You bet your cute behind I did my homework.”

Elena mentally shook her head, fighting a grin. “You’re kind of amazing, you know?” she told him.

Damon smiled and kissed the top of her head. “That’s all on you, babe.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains smut. You've been warned.

Elena eyed the door and smiled. She felt a little bit apprehensive, knowing that this house held a lot of memories and all the good ones she could remember only featured Stefan. Trying not to get hung up on the feeling, she knocked. Damon opened the door and all nervousness evaporated just like that.

“Mistletoe,” she said. “Clever.”

Damon grinned in response. “Afraid I can’t take credit for that one.” He stepped aside, holding the door open for her. “Come on in.”

She wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or relieved that he ignored the mistletoe at the door, but she followed him inside. There was a fire burning in the fireplace, giving the room a warm and welcoming glow. She could just imagine curling up with Damon on one of the couches, just enjoying the peace and quiet and sharing thoughts. The picture was so vivid, Elena suddenly wasn’t sure anymore if what she imagined was actually a fantasy or if it had already happened. But even if it wasn’t an actual memory, the house must be filled with them, she realized. This was Damon’s home; logically she knew they must have spent a lot of time here together.

She glanced up and towards the stairwell where she knew Damon’s room was. How many memories had they made there? The thought almost made her blush and she quickly glanced away again.

“You want a tour?” Damon asked, because of course he noticed. Elena was coming to learn that Damon noticed pretty much everything if it had to do with her.

“Damon,” she said. “I do remember the house. I have not forgotten everything.”

“Glad to know. But that’s not why I asked,” he said. He took her hand and pulled her towards the library and the rooms beyond. “You haven’t been back here just as long as the rest of us and it used to be your home once, too. That was the first thing Stefan and I did when we came back here. So, I thought, you’d want to have a look around, too.”

They took a leisurely stroll through the rooms on the ground floor, stopping in the kitchen for a glass of wine (for Elena) and a tumbler of Bourbon (for Damon) and Elena followed, but mostly in trance, still stuck on ‘it used to be your home’. She did remember actually owning this place before she was turned into a vampire, but she was fairly certain this was not what Damon was referring to.

“Elena?”

She shook her head to clear it and noticed Damon’s concerned gaze. He must have called her name a few times, but she had been so deep in thought, she hadn’t heard him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly. “If it’s too much too soon…”

“No,” she interrupted and rested a palm on his shoulder. “I just realized… I _lived_ here. I wasn’t just a visitor. I lived here. And I don’t remember it. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he replied and added, to lighten the mood, “You’ll have an eternity to make it up to me.”

Elena’s hand wandered from Damon’s shoulder to his neck, fingers tangling in his short hair and squeezing lightly. She drew closer and her eyes slowly drifted to Damon’s lips, but before anything could happen, Damon stopped her.

Taking her chin gently, his thumb almost but not quite caressing her bottom lip, he said, “This is not what I meant by you making it up to me.”

“I know,” she whispered, “and it’s not. I just had a really crappy day and this is for me. Okay?”

Damon studied her quietly. Then his thumb really did touch her lips and they opened slightly. Elena couldn’t take it anymore. She surged forward, pressing her mouth to his and stepping closer until their bodies touched. His lips really were as soft as they looked, so this was one question answered, Elena thought. He exhaled against her mouth and she took the opportunity to trace the seam of his lips with her tongue. She lingered for a moment longer before pulling back and opening her eyes to see him watching her.

She smiled, feeling more like herself now. Sometimes the realization of how much of her life she had lost threatened to overwhelm her and she needed the connection to the present to not get swept up in the vast current of what was gone.

“Let’s continue the tour, shall we?” she suggested.

They explored upstairs but decided to leave out the wing of the mansion that housed Stefan’s room; he was home, but neither Damon nor Elena were in the mood for company right now. They ended up in the upper hallway that led to Damon’s room. Damon hesitated, not sure if it should be part of the reminiscence tour, but Elena made the decision for him as she walked ahead of him and pulled him along.

At the door, she let go of his hand and walked into the room while Damon leaned against the doorway and watched her. She stopped in the middle of the place and took it all in, slowly turning on her heels. She walked to the fireplace, fingers dancing along the mantle as she passed it, then to the dresser, carefully touching the various knick-knacks collected there, fingers skimming the edge of a framed picture of a laughing Elena being kissed by Damon. They looked carefree, happy. They looked in love.

“Every memory I have of this room is us fighting or disagreeing over something, or you being an ass to me, or your countless innuendos as your way of trying to seduce me.”

“Succeeded a couple of times, too,” Damon unhelpfully injected.

“Those I don’t remember,” Elena clarified.

“More’s the pity.”

Elena left her wine glass on the dresser, walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. She pulled up her legs and wrapped her arms around them. Damon’s heart lurched painfully in his chest. This reminded him too much of a night a long time ago.

***

_Damon slowly made his way up to his room, a tumbler of whisky in his hand. Ric was gone, Stefan was on his way to burying Silas wherever, and he felt oddly… calm. He stopped in surprise as he reached his room. Elena sat on his bed, knees pulled up and both arms wrapped tightly around them, cheek resting on her knees. He hadn’t heard her come back, but that didn’t surprise him. He had gone out strolling the grounds after Alaric had disappeared and had generally been distracted by the day’s events._

_He leaned against the doorpost and just looked at her. She opened her eyes and silently looked back at him._

_She at once looked fragile and strong and Damon was completely captivated by her._

_“Eventful day, huh?” he asked, trying to dispel the maudlin feeling._

_She smiled and unfurled from her position, lowering her legs to the ground. As she did, Damon could see the big splotch of red on the bodice of her white dress and vampire-rushed over to her. “What happened?” he urgently asked, hands moving all over her body to reassure himself that she was alright._

_“Katherine tried to kill me,” she intoned emotionless. “I shoved the cure down her throat, I didn’t know what else to do. It’s gone.”_

_Damon stared at her, shocked, sad, relieved and skipping so quickly through all the emotions, it was almost making him dizzy. He searched for any signs of how that made her feel but she looked impassive. No, that was not quite correct. She looked peaceful._

_“I’m sorry,” he said, because he was. Despite what he might have wanted for her and for himself, above all he had always wanted her to have a choice in the matter._

_“It’s okay,” she said. “Would you believe me if I said I felt somehow relieved?”_

_“Because Katherine is gone and won’t be a problem anymore?” he wondered._

_“That too. And also, because I know what I want and I’m not sired to you anymore. And because Silas is gone and it feels like we’re finally in a good place now. Damon,” she grabbed his hands and held them in hers, “You gave me my choice back. I had the cure in my hand; it was up to me to decide whether I wanted this vampire life or not and I am okay with my decision now. More than okay, if it also means that I get to spend this life with you.”_

_“I’m not going anywhere,” he assured her. “I promise.”_

_She was about to pull him into a hug but then remembered her bloodied dress. She pulled on the fabric and he noticed the hole punched through the front. “I need to get out of this,” she said and made her way over to the bathroom._

_Damon followed her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and pressed his face into her hair, only then realizing how close he had come to losing her. Elena’s arms wrapped around his and he held her tightly. Damon silently thanked the stars that she was okay, that she was alive and whole, and here, in his room, and moreover – in his arms, which was a miracle all unto itself._

_Eventually she turned around and held his face in her hands. She kissed him softly then pulled back a little, tiredly smiling up at him. Damon turned her around to unzip the dress. It pooled around her feet. Elena stepped out of it and Damon kicked it into a corner while at the same time undoing the clasp of her bra. While she slipped the straps from her shoulders, Damon moved on to her panties and Elena chuckled._

_“I can undress myself,” she said, looking at him over her shoulder._

_“I know,” Damon replied with a saucy smile. “But where’s the fun in that?” Come to think of it, watching Elena as she undressed herself… “Scratch that,” he quickly added. “I can actually imagine that being quite a lot of fun as well. But maybe fun for another time, okay?”_

_She turned around and linked her arms behind his neck, leaning in for another soft kiss. He smiled against her mouth and slowly walked her backwards towards the shower. She broke the kiss when he stopped at the glass door. “You’re not joining me?” she asked and looked him over as if only now realizing that he was still fully dressed._

_He bit his lip, clearly wanting to, and couldn’t help his wandering eyes that took in her beautifully naked and enticing form. He loved that she was completely unselfconscious about it. He wanted to put his hands on her body, wanted to feel hers on his. But it would have to wait just a little longer._

_“How about I get us something to drink and meet you over there?” he said, motioning towards the bed._

_“Mhhm. Yes, please,” she replied. Before he could turn to leave, she grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him in one more time. Their lips collided messily, mouths off-center and teeth in the way, but judging by the smoldering heat in Elena’s eyes and the responding hunger in Damon’s neither of them really cared for technique right then. Breathing heavily, Damon broke away to let Elena step under the shower head._

_Before he walked away, he said quietly, “I’m sorry the cure’s gone. I know you said you’re okay with it, but eternity is a long time and I thought, you’d change your mind eventually. Because I also know how much you hate being a vampire.”_

_Elena looked at him, not hiding behind niceties or polite words to spare his feelings. She let him see all of her when she replied, “I don’t hate it as much when I’m with you.”_

_***_

_Damon went down to the parlor and was about to grab a bottle of Bourbon when he reconsidered. This night called for something special. It was Elena’s graduation night after all and they had a lot to celebrate._

_When he returned to his bedroom a few minutes later Elena was just coming out of the bathroom, body wrapped in a towel. Damon brandished the bottle of champagne he found in the cellar at her. After pouring, he extended one glass to her and she asked, “What should we drink to first? Getting rid of Silas or to Katherine’s new life as a human? To Jeremy being back from the dead?”_

_“Nuh-uh,” Damon shook his head. “This is to us, to making it through despite everything the fucking universe tried to throw at us. We’re still here. Together. So, I say, bring it on.”_

_“Oh god, please don’t challenge it,” she said with a laugh. But she clanked her glass with his and drank._

_“To you surviving high school,” Damon said next and they drank again._

_“To Alaric, and Lexie, and everyone else stuck on the other side,” Elena offered next._

_They continued toasting and drinking until more than half of the bottle was empty._

_“To having the house to ourselves,” Elena said, voice low and eyes focusing on Damon’s mouth._

_He noticed her staring at him and stepped closer. Taking her glass, he placed both out of the away and stepped even closer until there was only a couple of inches of space between their bodies left. And even though they weren’t touching, the heat emanating from both of them was palpable. Damon’s hand came up and with a single digit he slowly caressed a straight line from her bottom lip, down through the hollow at the base of her throat and along her sternum till he reached the towel._

_Hooking his finger in the knot, he licked his lips and asked, “May I?”_

_Elena swallowed. “Yes.” Her voice shook a little in anticipation._

_Damon looked up and into her face, making sure she meant it. He must have found what he was looking for; his eyes returned to her body and with a single gentle tug, the knot became undone and the towel fell away. His lips opened involuntarily, a breath escaping._

_Elena shivered under his gaze. He wasn’t even touching her, yet her body prickled hot all over. Her palms itched. It had been too long since the last time they’d been together like this and Elena didn’t want to wait a single second longer. She pushed both hands into his unruly locks and pulled his mouth to hers. “Bed. Now!” she muttered against his lips before claiming them._

_Damon kissed her back with the same passion, still tasting champagne on her tongue. Not breaking the kiss, he walked them both towards the enormous bed. He lowered Elena down onto the covers, supporting her head with his hand, unwilling to relinquish possession of her mouth even for a moment, and pushed himself on top of her._

_Elena’s hand moved over his shoulders to the front of his shirt and started undoing the buttons. But she was getting distracted – by the wicked things his tongue was doing to hers, by the gentle pull of his fingers in her hair, by the sensuous caress of his touch along her ribcage, by his body on top of hers. She had missed this. She had missed being with him. Nothing had ever felt as right as having Damon in her arms like this. This was the part when all the voices in her head shut up and all that remained was the feeling of rightness, of belonging, and ever-present, insatiable desire._

_But there was still this damn shirt in the way with its too many buttons and Elena grew frustrated with it and simply tore it away. It made Damon let go of her lips and rise up on his arm a little to look at her. She shrugged – after all, it wasn’t the first shirt of his she ruined and she was pretty sure it wouldn’t be the last. But he simply grinned at her and leaned down again to nibble at the corner of her jaw and suck a bruise just above her pulse point. Elena’s eyes closed in bliss while her hands reached for his belt buckle. He rose up on his knees and Elena went with him, reluctant to break the exploration of their mouths._

_She managed to get the belt buckle undone but almost growled in defeat when she encountered even more buttons on the front of his pants. Fortunately, Damon’s hands took over as he swiftly unbuttoned the fly and used his vampire speed to get rid of his jeans._

_“Glad this hasn’t changed,” Elena said with a laugh in her voice._

_“What?”_

_“You, not wearing any underwear.”_

_“I do on occasion,” Damon contradicted._

_Not taking his eyes from Elena, Damon toed off his boots and kicked them off. Elena took the opportunity to scoot up the bed and lay down on the pillows, eyes roaming up and down Damon’s gloriously naked body._

_When he was finished undressing, he stepped closer bud didn’t join her as before. Instead, he sat down next to her legs and gazed down at her. Elena reached for him, intending to pull him on top of her, wanting to feel his weight. But Damon intercepted her movements; he took her hand and turned it over, kissing the inside of her palm._

_“I love you too,” he said softly, echoing her passionate proclamation earlier that evening. “God, I missed you.”_

_His hands dropped to her legs, his fingertips skimming up one and down the inside of the other._

_“Have I ever mentioned that I love your legs?”_

_“No,” Elena breathed, “I don’t think so.”_

_“Well, I do,” Damon declared, draping one of her legs over his shoulder. Starting at the ankle, he followed the earlier path of his fingers with his lips, kissing up the length of it and stopping mid-thigh, where he turned his attention to the other one. Elena helpfully parted them for easier access and Damon hummed appreciatively. She raised her hips a little, silently begging for his attentions elsewhere, but he ignored her. Instead, he pulled the other leg over his shoulder as well and mirrored the same path, gently biting close to her ankle and making Elena gasp. Only then did he turn to her center._

_He inhaled the heady scent that was threatening to overwhelm his senses and skimmed his tongue lightly over her folds for a taste._

_“Don’t tease, Damon. Please,” Elena pleaded._

_“No teasing,” he assured her._

_True to his word he quickly and efficiently worked toward taking her world apart. He gently sucked her clitoris into his mouth while his fingers curled inside of her to work on her magic spot. With his free hand he lightly scratched up and down the inside of her thigh, making Elena’s body undulate on the bed._

_Any other time, Elena would let him take her to the finish line at his pace, but tonight she needed to touch him. Sinking both hands in his hair, she pulled him up and he went willingly but not without passing up the chance to place kisses all over her stomach, her ribcage, in the valley between her breasts and all the way up to her lips._

_When she finally had him where she wanted him – his body draped heavily and deliciously between her legs – she sighed in contentment. Her tongue dipped dirtily inside his mouth before she moved on to his neck, continuing the sweet assault while her legs wrapped around his hips. He didn’t resist as her heels pushed down to force his entry; he didn’t even think about resisting, didn’t want to, as he slipped easily inside and just like that the urgency was gone. Connected once more, they both released a breath of relief, finally feeling complete again._

_Elena unwrapped one of her arms from his shoulders and used it to push herself up off the mattress. With her legs around him, she didn’t have enough leverage, but he always seemed to know what she wanted. His arms wrapped around her torso and he pulled her up into his lap as he came up into a kneeling position. She moaned at the feeling of him so deep inside her and he slowly let his thrusts peter out till they both came to a halt completely._

_Content just to be close, they unhurriedly explored each other, needing to reacquaint each other with touches and little pecks. Damon cupped her breasts, thumb teasing one hardened peak while his lips closed around the other. Elena threw her head back in pleasure and Damon of course had to kiss and lick down the exposed graceful column of her neck._

_She kept one arm around his shoulders for balance, the other circled and teased his nipple with a sharp nail. He hissed and bit her neck gently in retaliation which made her smile. Her lips skimmed over his shoulder and down his upper arm, gently biting into the muscle there while her fingertips stroked lower, along quivering abdominal muscles and she realized it was costing him a lot to hold back his instinct to move inside her, so she rose up and down experimentally and they both moaned at the friction. Slowly, Damon picked up the rhythmic movements again._

_Impossibly, Elena felt him grow even larger inside herself. She needed more leverage and Damon, as usual reading her thoughts, helped her change positions slightly. Her legs unwound from his hips so she could use her knees to push off the bed to meet his slow but powerful thrusts._

_Their mouths collided again in a searing kiss. His arms tightly around her back and hers around his neck, they leaned their foreheads together, panting and breathing the same air as they moved in perfect sync._

_Her fingers stroked down the line of his spine and the touch prickled like electricity on his skin. It made him rear up in a forceful drive and he stilled, buried deep inside her, spilling himself. Elena clamped down on him and held still, waiting for him to come down. When the last of the tremors receded, he moved his hips again, intent on making her come before he softened inside her. He used a hand low on her back to press their bodies tighter together on every thrust upwards, grinding against her very center. Elena’s forehead rested heavily on his shoulder, her every breath washing hotly over his skin. He wanted to watch her come apart at the seams, wanted her to see how much he loved her. With one arm tightened securely around her hips, his other cupped her cheek and lifted her face so she would look at him._

_Her eyes opened and he hungrily drank in her every expression – the blown pupils, the slightly parted lips, her gaze that flicked between his eyes and his lips, the eyelids that moved so slow as if she were in a trance. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and his thumb followed the motion, snagging on the bottom one and keeping it there._

_His eyes sought out hers and held each other, all the want and need and love pooled there. After a few more grinding thrusts his eyes fell closed just as her mouth fell open on an exhaled, “Damon.” A second later her body convulsed violently and shock after shock ran through her body. He held her tight and watched as she gave herself over to the primal feelings until she was drained._

_He pressed his cheek against hers as her head fell forward once again resting on his shoulder. His hand in her hair held her securely as after-tremors rocked her body. He gently stroked her back while listening for her breathing to return to normal. She stirred eventually, and turned her head to find his neck with her lips. She kissed down to his shoulder and back to his clavicle, before moving on to his chest._

_He cupped her cheek again and raised her face to his. Their eyes met once again, gentle now, the need all but gone, leaving behind only a languid sense of belonging and love. They moved at the same time, lips meeting in an unhurried, leisurely kiss. They broke off, smiled at each other and couldn’t help themselves but move in to taste each other’s lips again. And again. And again._

_Eventually Elena moved to slide off of Damon and let herself fall back into the pillows. He pulled out the blankets from underneath them both and came to lie beside her, sharing the same pillow. She stroked his cheek, leaning in for a last quick peck to his lips before her eyes drifted shut and she fell asleep with a smile on her face. Very gently Damon touched a fingertip to her smile, placed a kiss on the tip of her nose and watched her. Devotion, he thought. He was utterly and completely devoted to this woman. Now and for all eternity._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating the story as fast as I can, but the formatting takes forever. In the meantime, I would love to know what your thoughts are so far. Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5

Damon shook his head to dispel the images from his mind. When he glanced up again, he saw Elena watching him. This room hadn’t been just his the last time he was there. It had been theirs. It held a million memories of the two of them and Damon knew that Elena knew that. He could read it on her face.

For a second he thought she was going to ask him about it. But when she finally spoke, it was to ask, “Can I stay here tonight?” It wasn’t a completely selfish wish. After the devastating news about Liz, Elena thought they both might need the comfort of each other’s company.

Damon opened his mouth before realizing that he didn’t actually know how to respond to that. He closed it again.

“It’s just,” Elena hurried to explain, seeing Damon’s conflicted grimace, “Caroline dropped me off here. She said she wanted to go see her house and visit her old room. We didn’t make any plans about getting back to campus. I think Caroline wanted to go back right after to spend the night in the hospital, with her mom.”

“Oh,” Damon said. “If it’s just a matter of transportation, I can drive you.”

Now it was Elena’s turn to grimace. This wasn’t going the way she’d expected it. “Uhm, yeah, I guess, if that’s what you…” She broke off. This was awkward. She didn’t like things getting awkward between her and Damon. So she took a deep breath for courage and ploughed on, “Do you want me to go? I would totally understand if you do. We’ve spent a lot of time together these past few months and I get that it must be frustrating for you to have a constant reminder of what you lost.”

“You’re not just a reminder of what is lost to me, Elena. You’re the reason I’m here. You are what I came back for. No, I don’t want you to leave.”

Elena breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay. Well, at the risk of sounding clingy, I really want to stay here tonight.”

“And by ‘here’ you mean the house or the room?”

“Both?”

“Mi casa es su casa. But you knew that already.”

“Thanks,” Elena exhaled on a breath. “Are you actually going to come in anytime soon?” she asked, eyeing him still leaning against the doorpost.

Damon pushed away and slowly walked into the room. He didn’t know why it felt like such a significant step. He lowered himself onto the bed, a good distance away from where Elena was still hugging her knees.

“Wanna tell me about the bad day you had?” Elena prompted.

“I’ll tell you about mine if you tell me about yours,” Damon replied.

Her head rolled toward the bathroom and he saw her eyeing the bathtub before she looked back at him. “Yeah, okay,” she replied.

“Or,” Damon suggested, “you can relax in a nice bubble bath and we postpone our commiserating to some other time.”

“No,” Elena objected, “I couldn’t. I didn’t even bring a change of clothes or anything.”

Damon wordlessly got up and pulled the middle drawer of the dresser open. He rummaged inside for a second and threw a shirt and a pair of soft cotton pants at her. She caught them and after a short inspection for size and cut realized those were her clothes. Damon crossed the room and opened a door in the corner that hid the walk-in closet.

He pulled the door wide and gestured inside. “There’s more in here if you need anything else. Right side’s yours. There’s also some of your stuff in that chest over there,” he said, pointing toward said furniture at the foot of the bed.

Elena swallowed thickly and got up to look inside. As he’d said, half of the closet was filled with her things: dresses, shoes, bags. She looked at the room with new eyes, looking for telltale details. There was a stack of books next to the bed, a Danielle Steele novel on top – Damon’s charmingly mainstream taste in literature put a smile on her face. On the other side of the bed, resting atop an old wooden chair that doubled as a bedside table was a voluminous textbook – hers, she surmised. A feminine looking scarf was draped haphazardly around one of the bedposts, as if thrown there in a hurry a long time ago. Her eyes swept towards the open plan bathroom, noticing several jars of skincare products and a perfume bottle, some make up brushes in a holder, a curling iron, two toothbrushes in the cup.

It hit her hard. She’d known, of course, that she and Damon had shared a life and, obviously, living conditions as well. But nothing – not his love declarations, not the retold memories, not the Damon box Alaric had returned to her, not the time they had spent together since he’d come back – had hit home quite as hard that it wasn’t just a simple feeling she had compelled away. It was a life. She’d had a life, complete with mundane necessities and a place where she called one side of the bed hers. Here was a real, physical manifestation of her as part of a couple, of a life intertwined with someone else’s.

She was torn from her musings by the sound of rushing water. Turning, she saw Damon had started to fill the tub. While he fiddled with the temperature, she came over and studied the various bottles of bubble bath additives.

“The purple one with the silver cap,” Damon said.

“Huh?”

“It’s your favorite,” Damon clarified.

He turned to leave and she stopped him. “You don’t have to leave,” she said, sounding apologetic. No, she wasn’t ready to share a bath with him yet, but she felt guilty for forcing him out of his own room.

“I really, really do,” he replied, giving her a once-over. She understood. The temptation was real. It was for her too, so for him it must have been excruciating. “Don’t worry,” he said and kissed her brow, gently. “I’ll go pour myself a whisky and give the witches’ books another try. Just come get me when you’re done.”

“Okay.” As he was about to leave, she stopped him again, with a hand on his chest. “Damon,” she said. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, quick and dry and soft. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He smiled at her and left the room, closing the door behind himself.

***

Even after Damon had left, Elena felt weird undressing in room of a practical stranger. Well, no, that wasn’t quite correct anymore. While she still remembered nothing of her previous life with him, he did feel familiar to her. But not enough to merit getting naked in his place. Elena shook her head, feeling silly, and stepped into the bathtub. She tried to shake off the awkwardness and leaned back. Her eyes slid over the luxurious bathroom and over to the room beyond with the bed dominating everything.

She remembered the room, of course. Had been inside it plenty of times, though never from the perspective of it being her room or of being in the bed. Though, realistically, she knew of course that she must have been, she had no memories of it. As usual, when she recalled the big chunk of her life she no longer had access to, she grew frustrated with herself. So she shelved those thoughts for another day and relaxed into the hot water.

***

Finishing her bath, Elena wrapped a fluffy towel around herself and rubbed another through her wet hair. She slowly strolled through Damon’s room, taking a closer look. She didn’t want to snoop, even though she was sure Damon wouldn’t mind – probably wouldn’t even think of it as snooping, as he considered this to be her room as well – but Damon remained an enigma and Elena was hooked and hungry to learn more.

She stopped at the dresser. Pulling open the drawer he had opened earlier, Elena quickly shut it again, turning a light shade of red. Comfy clothes that could easily double as sleepwear, mixed with underwear, mixed with sexy lingerie. Somehow, it felt way too intimate to be going through those.

She shook her head to dispel her thoughts from heading into that direction. Her eyes fell again on the picture of her and Damon she had studied earlier that evening. In her fascination, she hadn’t noticed the other one, half-hidden by an ornate candleholder. In it, she and Damon were both grinning at the camera, from atop a high-rise building. The lit-up city below them sparkled in the blurred background. But even out of focus, Elena had no trouble recognizing New York City. Obviously, it had been taken during a vacation or a trip – another thing she had no memories of.

For a moment, Elena stared wistfully at the image. The carefree happiness on both their faces and the easy, casual way they were touching each other spoke of familiarity and Elena longed for it. They grinned as though they were sharing a secret, even if that was rooted solely in how comfortable they were with each other.

After another glance around the room, she moved to the stack of books next to Damon’s side of the bed. A square shaped book caught her attention and she pulled it from the stack, flipping it open. It wasn’t a book at all. It was a photo album. There were more pictures of her, of Damon, and of them together; there were ticket stubs, torn out maps, handwritten notes, and even a napkin from a place in… New Orleans? A scrapbook of her and Damon’s relationship.

Elena sank down to the floor, leaning against the frame of the bed, and pulled the album into her lap.

“You made this,” Damon’s voice startled her. He was standing in the doorway. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I heard you moving around, so…”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I—” She meant to apologize for invading his privacy, but stopped herself. “I found this,” she said instead.

Damon smiled. “You gave it to me on our first anniversary,” he said as he came in and sat beside her on the floor.

“Do you mind if…?”

Damon shook his head. “I haven’t looked at it in forever. Go ahead,” he said.

She paged through the pictures. There were lots of typical couple-y pictures where they both looked at the camera and also plenty of portraits in front of various buildings or landmarks. There was a double page with a collage of pictures of the two of them making funny faces at the camera and just being goofy in general. There was a selfie of them kissing each other, several, in fact. And a picture of Elena amid white sheets, asleep on Damon’s arm – obviously taken by Damon. It was innocent as far as bedroom pictures went, yet it seemed so… intimate.

Elena stared at it for a long time before slamming the album shut and pushing it away from herself.

“I’m sorry,” she said, not meeting Damon’s eyes. “I feel like I’m intruding on her life.”

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Damon agreed.

“I want to be her, I do,” Elena said, trying desperately to explain, but not sure if she was succeeding. “I just don’t know how. Those seem like awfully big shoes to fill.” She motioned towards the photo album now lying abandoned next to her feet.

Damon was suspiciously quiet, so she raised her head and looked at him. He was staring at her with an intense expression on his face, his icy blue eyes burning into hers. “Did I make you think that you have to?”

“No.”

“Good. Because all you have to be is yourself. All I _want_ you to be is yourself.”

“What if I’m different now?”

“What if you are?” Damon shrugged dismissively, completely unbothered by the idea.

Elena couldn’t say that she was afraid that he wouldn’t love the new her. But Damon seemed to read it off of her face. He took her hand in his and held it.

“You think there’s only one version of you that I am in love with?”

Elena couldn’t answer, her throat closing tight. She remembered all the times she had called him a monster, a self-serving psychopath, a soulless killer, a hateful person. And there he was, barely a foot away, looking at her calmly with guileless eyes that hid nothing from her, offering unconditional love like it was nothing special, holding her world together with a single touch.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried very hard to forgive herself.


	6. Chapter 6

Elena had woken up early to the sound of her phone buzzing. She slipped from the bed, careful not to wake Damon, and going through the pockets of her jeans, she quickly silenced the ringing. She had a missed call from Caroline. Elena threw on some clothes she retrieved from her side of Damon’s closet and left the bedroom to call Caroline back, afraid it had to do with Liz’s condition. Once downstairs, she glanced around, wondering where Stefan was, whether he was up yet. She opened the front door to check if his car was there when suddenly everything went dark.

She woke up facing the smirking face of Kai and groaned. Strangely enough, she was more annoyed than frightened. She had a busy day ahead of her and Kai’s villain-ness was seriously cutting into her plans. She just hoped Damon would hurry and save her. But first, she had to find a way to let him know where she was…

***

Hours later, when Elena was back in the safety of Alaric’s apartment and Damon’s company, she couldn’t help but watch Damon out of the corner of her eye.

Maybe it was the loss of her memories, or maybe it was the high from escaping a psychotic killer, but Elena’s wiped blank, virginal mind found Damon endlessly fascinating and intriguing. The other Elena had years to get used to this side of Damon and had probably managed to control her reaction to him better. But this present-day Elena was caught in his intense eyes with no chance of escaping.

When Jo came to whisk her away to the bathroom, Elena almost welcomed the distraction. Part of her attention was focused on Jo and the important wisdoms she was imparting on her about how to remove blood stains from clothes, but the rest of it was focused on Damon. From the bathroom, where she and Jo stood over the sink, she couldn’t actually see him, which is why she kept glancing into the main room through the partially open door.

“So, I guess, Liam’s out of the picture for good,” Jo said.

“Huh? Who?” Elena replied, confused. “Oh, Liam.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I hope you don’t find it an invasion of your privacy, but Alaric told me about you two. I asked him.”

“Then you probably know more about Damon and me than I do,” Elena returned with a bitter undertone.

“That may be. But I’m not sure I needed Alaric’s insight to know what I know.”

“What do you mean?” Elena asked.

“I watched you two on the dance floor. That hospital fundraiser I made you interns all go to, remember?”

Elena nodded.

“You looked very in synch together.”

“According to Damon we used to do that a lot – dancing.”

“But you didn’t know that. I mean, you don’t remember it, right?”

“Right.” When Jo didn’t continue, Elena said, “Is there a point to it because I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“A patient of mine, a kooky old lady that came in every day to see her husband of over 60 years, used to say, ‘Sometimes, all you need to know about two people you can figure out by watching how they move together. If they can find a common rhythm, the rest will fall into place.’”

Elena was lost in thought for a few minutes. She could only hope it was that easy.

“Alaric feels guilty, you know,” Jo cut into her thoughts. “He says it’s his fault you’re in this situation. But…”

“But?” Elena prompted when it seemed that Jo wasn’t about to continue.

“Even if it is, there’s no sense in beating yourself up over it. Which is what you all are doing. Alaric feels guilty, Damon is angry, you feel lost. But it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

“It doesn’t?”

“The way I see it – what happened, happened. There’s no way to undo it. And you seem to have somehow overcome your loathing for Damon. So, does it matter how much or if you ever remember?” Jo clarified. “All that matters is how you feel. And how he makes you feel.”

“Alive,” Elena whispered. “He makes me feel alive.” Stefan had mentioned something like this, Elena recalled. But she hadn’t really understood what he meant. She thought, maybe he’d meant this, today. The rush, the adrenaline, the absolute trust that Damon would come through for her. She had felt like a different person, and yet more like herself than she could remember being in a long time.

***

Damon took her back to campus after that. They were quiet in his car, both needing the time to think over everything that had happened in the past hours. It had been an eventful day. And even though it had been long and tiring, Elena didn’t think she’d be able to sleep.

When the Camaro rolled to a stop, Elena opened the door, but didn’t get out. “Come inside with me?” she asked with a hopeful smile.

Damon grimaced. “I would. But Caroline’s probably in there and I don’t think either of us can deal with any more confrontations tonight.”

Elena sighed. Having her two best friends fight with each other was no fun. Wait… When did Damon become one of her best friends? Elena mentally shook her head at herself. Somewhere during the hunt for a way to bring Bonnie back, she had not only managed to fall in love with him, but also had begun to think of him as a person she relied on and trusted most.

“Caroline is probably with her mom,” Elena argued. “Besides, there’s an easy solution to that,” she added. “Just don’t be confrontational. Just say you’re sorry and we can all go back to being friends.”

“One,” Damon replied, “we were never friends. And two, I am not sorry.”

“Come on, Damon, for me?” Elena pleaded and Damon shook his head with a disbelieving smile. “What?” Elena asked, seeing it.

“You may not have any memories of us, but you still know exactly what to say.”

Elena smiled, feeling smug.

“Give me your hand,” Damon said, ignoring her grin.

‘’Why?” Elena said, suspiciously, while at the same time placing her palm in his.

“You’ll see. Now close your eyes and relax.”

She glared at him for a second longer before huffing a breath and doing as he told her. Not knowing what to expect though, she was tense and alert.

“Breathe, and let me in,” he spoke, voice quiet and level, soothing.

Keeping her eyes closed, she took a deep breath and released it slowly. Just as she did so, images swam before her eyes, at first dark around the edges, but clearing very quickly. She gasped, thinking for a tiny moment that a memory was coming back to her. But in the next, she realized this was Damon’s doing. He was in her head; he was showing her one of his.

_The room was unfamiliar – an office, or a small library of sorts. Alaric was there too, somewhere on the periphery. And then, all of a sudden, a woman she’d never seen before with a crossbow aiming at her. Before the arrow could hit Elena, Damon was there, shielding her with his own body. Saving her. Just like he had earlier today and, Elena assumed, on several more occasions_.

The scene continued for a few more minutes, Damon allowing her to see herself pull out the arrow from his back, their banter afterwards, the flirting – mostly on his part. Elena was getting lost in the memory until Damon gently tugged his hand free and allowed the connection to break.

Elena resurfaced, dazed and confused. “Show me more?” she demanded.

Damon shook his head. “Nope.”

Elena’s jaw dropped at his blatant refusal. “Why not?” she asked, voice high.

“It’s _my_ memories. Go get your own.”

Elena pouted but it didn’t help change Damon’s mind. He remained stubborn. “Why?” she asked. “Why didn’t you do that before, when I asked you about us?”

“It’s a cop out.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What good would it do? It won’t help you remember,” he said. “It’s like… me describing what chocolate tastes like to someone who’s never had it. I can try, but it’s still not the same as tasting it for yourself.”

Elena was quiet for a long time, pondering his words. “Why this one specifically?”

Damon shrugged. “Seemed harmless enough. And on topic.”

At her questioning glance, he explained, “Me saving you.”

“Sounds like you do that a lot?”

“There’s a reason why it’s listed on my resumé as my main occupation,” Damon quipped.

Elena huffed a laugh, then said, “Thank you. For tonight.”

“Anytime, Elena. Always.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you've probably noticed, I'm moving quickly through the storyline of season 6. There's bits and hints in every chapter to help you orient yourself where we are in the season, But we'll eventually veer off that storyline completely, so it won't matter much anymore. Still, if something is unclear or I managed to completely confuse you, let me know. I'll try to fix it.
> 
> And, oh yeah, almost forgot. A warning: lots of smut in this chapter.

***

“If the past is a place without you and me together, then stop living in it.”

“Yeah,” Damon breathed and surged forward, claiming her mouth.

Elena’s arms came up to wound around his neck as she kissed him back passionately.

Damon slipped the cardigan she was wearing off her shoulders while at the same time walking her backwards towards the bed. They fell on the mattress, Damon on top of her. He scooted up, dragging his front along hers, the friction making her gasp quietly. He paused, looking in her eyes, making sure they were on the same page. He saw nothing but want in Elena’s, so he swooped down again and kissed her again, his tongue invading her mouth just as she was laying claim to his.

Their clothes were in the way. Damon reached for the buttons on the front of her dress, impatiently undoing them one by one. It would be easier to just rip them off, but somewhere in the back of his mind he was still present enough to remember he didn’t want to scare her. Once he managed to get them half undone, he couldn’t resist. His mouth latched onto her breasts, sucking one nipple into his mouth through the lacy material of her bra. His hand pulled the fabric off her other breast and he cupped her naked flesh in his palm, rubbing gently over the peak until it hardened. Then he switched sides and took it between his lips.

Elena moaned and slipped her hands under his sweater, scratching along his back. When Damon kissed along the swell of her bosom up to her neck, her hands let go of him and she finished unbuttoning the rest of her dress. It fell away to the sides and she quickly pulled her arms free from it.

Damon’s palms slid over her body, stroking down her sides and hooking into the waistband of her tights. He started pulling them down when his fingers snagged on the elastic of her panties. He hesitated only for a fraction of second, but Elena noticed.

“Please, Damon,” she said. “Don’t act different with me. Or extra careful. Just… Don’t think you have to treat me differently, ok?”

He nodded his understanding and paused to kiss the jut of her hipbone before hooking his fingers into tights and panties both, and pulling both down at the same time, Elena kicking them off the rest of the way.

She reached for his sweater, pulling it over his head and throwing it away, not caring where it landed. Next her fingers found his belt buckle and undid it, proceeding to do the same with the button and zipper of his jeans. Damon used the moment to scoot them both further up the bed. Elena, hands now done undressing him, slipped fingers in his hair and used it to pull his head back as far as it would go. Her lips attached to the soft underside of his chin as she sucked a dark hickey into his skin. Damon growled, feeling a corresponding tug low in his belly and pushed his hips down hard, rubbing his hardness against one of her thighs.

The sounds he made resonated with Elena who used her strength to flip them both over. Now on top of him, she drew a hot line of kisses along his chest, enjoying the touch and feel of him. Damon’s arms dropped to his sides as he surrendered completely to her. Her hands seemed to instinctually find all his sensitive spots while her lips and teeth provided the most exquisite torture. When he felt Elena’s mouth on his cock, he seized up. Elena’s tongue swirled around the tip and moved lower to get him wet before her mouth followed, enveloping him. He endured the sweet torture as long as he could but eventually, he pushed a hand in her hair and pulled her up. He didn’t want to come like this. He had missed her so much, had missed this so much, he didn’t want it to be over already.

He bent forward to catch her mouth in a heated kiss. As their tongues collided, Elena pulled on his shoulders, encouraging him to sit up and back against the headboard.

Not breaking the kiss, she straddled him. Breathing heavily, she tore her mouth away from his and sought out his eyes. Holding each other’s gaze, she sank down on him. Damon could barely take the heat and tightness. He released a loud feral growl, eyes falling shut. Elena bit her bottom lip in extasy, head thrown back. She hadn’t realized that this was what she’d been missing. Being connected to him like this again felt like the last puzzle piece falling into place. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t remember them, because right now all she could feel that they belonged together. They were made for this, for each other. It was them against the rest of the world.

“Damon,” she keened, “I’m…I…” What was she trying to say? She didn’t even know for sure. There were all these things welling up in her, images, emotions, it overflowed, it threatened to suffocate her, it was big and it was too much. She almost sobbed. “Damon.”

His hands came up to frame her face. “Shh, I’ve got you,” he whispered close to her mouth. He made her look at him and when their eyes met, he leaned forward to kiss her. It was gentle and it did something to her. It made the voices in her head quiet and her focus restored. She kissed him back, arms wrapping around his neck once more. The kiss turned dirty, and heated, and she moved her hips experimentally, raising up and quickly sinking back down on him. She gasped involuntarily.

“You okay?” he asked her.

“God, yes,” she growled and with a wicked grin rose up and slammed down again.

Damon grinned in reply and met her hips the next time she moved. Damon’s hands slipped down to hold her hips, Elena’s hands still wrapped around his neck, their foreheads touching, they quickly found a rhythm. Breaths growing heavier, they met in another frantic kiss. Damon reached for the clasp of her bra – the last piece of clothing Elena was still wearing. His hands came up to cup her breasts and he leaned in to kiss them before resting his forehead heavily on her shoulder.

His eyes slid down her front. He lifted his head to stare at the space where they were joined. There was something obscenely erotic in the way he was moving in and out of Elena’s body. He let one palm slide down over her flat stomach, letting it rest there while his thumb found its way between her folds, unerringly finding her most sensitive spot and gently circling it.

Elena released a sound that was barely human and her rhythm faltered. She looked at him, half challenging, half accusing.

Damon grinned wolfishly and repeated the motion, pushing his thumb firmer against the sensitive gland. Elena panted, tongue shooting out to wet her lips. Damon suddenly relieved the pressure and stuck his thumb instead in his mouth, sucking on it, eyes rolling back at the exquisite taste. Elena could just stare at him, mouth agape, no sound coming out. She couldn’t remember ever being this turned on by something,

Damon lifted her off his hips and off of himself, which Elena protested loudly. He swiftly reversed their positions, pushing Elena flat onto her back and moving on top of her. He slipped one hand under her knee and pulled it up, opening her. In the next moment, he was back inside her, quickly picking up the pace from before. Elena hiked her other leg higher on his hip and used it to pull him closer.

While Damon firmly ground against her on every thrust, she used her muscles to work him into a frenzy as well. Suddenly it became a race to see who would surrender first. The room was filled with their grunts, the sound of their flesh meeting and heavy breathing. Elena cried out the same moment Damon’s body seized. They both froze for a moment as their bodies convulsed in a violent release. Elena’s vision whited out before a thousand images slammed into her. But she paid them no mind, too taken up with jolt after jolt of the most intense orgasm. Dimly, she was aware of Damon, thrusting jerkily inside her, filling her with his seed and equally lost in the intense feelings.

She thought she heard someone cry out, but she didn’t know if it was her or Damon. It didn’t matter anyway, she thought, as she wrapped her arms tightly around him.

***

She couldn’t sleep, or maybe she simply didn’t want to. It was still wondrous to her how a day that had been so bad could end in such happiness. She couldn’t deny that that was what she was feeling. She just knew that it wasn’t simply the post-orgasm high. Too sated to initiate another round, they had just lain there, unwilling to let go of each other, until it became clear that Damon was losing his fight against sleep. She helped him along by lightly rasping the tips of her fingers through his hair and down his neck and up again in a hypnotic way.

He was sleeping now and she couldn’t stop watching him, poring over how much had changed in the past weeks. She enjoyed being close to Damon, enjoyed spending time with him. He was witty and funny and even his recklessness and impulsiveness she found attractive. She felt awake with him, in a way she had never felt before; like the world was full of possibilities and she had an eternity at her disposal to explore all of them.

She reached out to trace the lines of his face, still lost in her thoughts, when her vision suddenly blurred. She blinked and realized it wasn’t so much blurry as it was double. She was seeing two of Damon’s sleeping faces. She squeezed her eyes shut. Incredibly, she kept seeing one image, even with her eyes closed. She held her breath as she realized what was happening.

Like watching a movie, she saw Damon’s eyes in her vision move behind his eyelids and he groaned softly, _“Ugh, this would be so much more fun if we were naked.”_

Elena smiled, as did the Elena in her vision. Like an unseen spectator she continued to watch Damon and herself talk, move through a morning routine that she knew wasn’t routine yet. She was almost afraid to open her eyes, for fear the scene would disappear, forgotten again. But when she forced herself to do so, it was still there. Damon, next to her, continued to sleep peacefully, completely oblivious to Elena’s breakthrough.

She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes in a silent thank you. The scene she remembered was spotty at best – she knew that this particular morning had happened at the beginning of their relationship, and in this very room, but she didn’t know how she knew. She was charmed and not at all surprised at Damon’s gallant refusal to have sex with her, though she couldn’t yet tell why he was being so stubborn; that part of the memory remained in the dark. She held on to the parts she recalled, their playful banter, their almost kiss, and then… nothing. Elena would have growled in frustration, but didn’t want to wake Damon.

She tried to put the scene in context, but it proved difficult. She told herself that it didn’t matter. Yes, she’d have liked to have all the memories from before back, and maybe this was the first one and the rest would follow if she could just be patient. But if it wasn’t to be, it wouldn’t change a thing. She would still be here now, sleeping next to him. Elena took Damon’s arm and wrapped it around herself, snuggling in and getting comfortable for sleep.

Outside, a vicious winter storm was gaining force and Elena listened with half an ear as she fell asleep still replaying the first real memory her mind had given up.

***

Elena woke up in the middle of the night and listened for the sound that woke her. Outside, the storm was raging in full force now, but inside, the house was quiet. She cracked one eye open, her vision filled by Damon’s sleeping face. His pillow had disappeared somewhere because he was sharing hers, their heads close together, mirroring each other’s positions as they both lay on their sides, the only point of contact their underarms resting between them. She palmed his cheek and softly touched his lips with her thumb. In sleep, he kissed the pad of her finger. Elena smiled and scooted closer with her body. Not waking up, Damon pulled her close and she tucked her face in his neck, still smiling. She was falling so senselessly, desperately, absolutely in love with this man, it wasn’t even funny. Listening to the howling wind outside and cocooned in the warmth of Damon’s body she soon fell asleep again.

The next time she woke up it was to the touch of lips on her skin. As she drifted back to awareness, she felt Damon’s lips kiss each vertebra as his mouth slowly moved down her spine. She was resting on her stomach, Damon perched above her, his lips painting a path of desire down her back. He was moving slowly, reverently, and Elena sighed in pleasure, feeling boneless as she melted into the mattress.

Soon his lips reached the swell of her ass where he kept going, placing a kiss to the tailbone of her spine before spreading her cheeks and continuing his path downwards. He kissed her furled pucker and Elena’s first instinct was to pull away – this was too intimate; nobody had ever touched her _there_ … Unless somebody had. No, not somebody. Damon. Something stirred in Elena’s memory. Vague flashes of a night not too long ago and nights before that spent exploring those parts of their bodies and a sharp spike of want surged through her. She dimly wondered whether it was another memory trying to break through the veil, but Damon’s lips were too distracting to devote any brain activity to contemplate its likelihood. He licked again at her most private part, tongue teasing, the very tip of it dipping gently inside. Heat pooled low in her belly imagining all the possibilities, but that particular one would have to be explored another time. Right now, she wanted something else and Damon seemed to intuitively know it because he moved further down to her warm wet center.

Elena spread her legs and Damon pushed two fingers inside her to test her resistance. There was none; she was still wet from before. He thrust his fingers slowly in and out, slicking her up even more.

“Need you,” Elena panted.

Damon made to move away so she could turn around, but she stopped him.

“No,” she said, “like this. Want you like this.”

Pushing her legs further apart, he slid between them. Elena freed the pillowcase clutched in her fists and reached above her head to grab the ornate metalwork in the headboard with one hand. Damon’s hardness rested heavily on her ass before he directed it further down to her wet core. There was no teasing as he pushed inside, slow but sure, fitting inside her perfectly.

He slid fully inside and stretched himself across her back, one hand resting on her hip to direct and control his movements, the other reaching all the way up and covering hers, fingers slipping between hers and holding on together.

“Elena,” he groaned in her ear. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” She imagined it was the same he was doing to her, but speech eluded her in that moment.

He thrust experimentally. Elena’s reply was a throaty moan. He moved inside her again and she buried her face in the pillow and bit down on it. He thrust again, and again. She squeezed his fingers hard, his own squeezing back, too numb to feel pain. All she could feel was him moving inside her, pushing her further and further towards a peak that she was almost too scared to climb and tumble over.

But he was unrelenting and push by push her world shrank into a bubble that consisted only of DamonDamon _Damon_.

“God, you’re perfect,” he whispered hotly, breath washing over her shoulder and making her shiver.

The hand that was not clutching hers roamed up her back and neck, briefly tangling in her long hair and using the grip to turn her head to the side so he was able to press his lips to her neck. He sucked love bites into the skin there that were gone as soon as they appeared but Elena keened, her senses on overdrive. She used her free hand to push up a little and turn her head to kiss Damon. It was impossible at this angle and position and she almost growled in frustration.

Damon grabbed her hand, sucked two of her fingers into his mouth before guiding her hand down to touch herself. He was moving fast now, blindly chasing the ever-elusive high and she realized he was barely holding it together but he wouldn’t come before she did. She found her own pulsing center and with the added stimulation it only took a handful of his furious thrusts for her vision to whiten out.

Somewhere in the distance she heard Damon’s voice call out her name but she was in freefall, body seizing and convulsing. She felt Damon’s teeth clamp down on her shoulder, not breaking skin but not gentle either, as he groaned and spent himself inside her until it overflowed.

***

They were back to the position from before, each lying on the side and gazing into each other’s eyes, though she had no idea how they got here. She wondered if she had blacked out for a little while but then faintly recalled Damon pulling out of her and gently rolling them over, away from the wet spot on the sheets. And the frantic kiss when they were finally face to face; the way they were mauling each other as they both came down from their high, breaths slowly evening out, the touch of their lips growing softer, gentler until they were smiling into each other’s mouths.

As they rested peacefully side by side, Elena knew what he wanted to say. It was so clearly etched into his face, coded in the way he touched her. She could taste it on the tip of his tongue as he kissed her and she knew he was holding himself back because he thought that she was not quite there yet. She didn’t know when exactly it happened but she had started to see a future spread out in front of her in which he was an integral part. And she wondered… how many times had he said the words to her before, how many times had he pressed them into her skin, uttered them into her mouth, whispered them into her ear? She hoped she had said them back each time.

She reached for him, wrapped both arms around his neck and pulled his head down to rest on her chest. He pressed a soft kiss to the swell of her breasts and settled down, sleep dragging at both of them. Elena began combing her fingers through his hair as his arm wrapped around her. His palm rested heavily and possessively along her ribcage and his thumb was absentmindedly stroking the underside of her breast. Eventually she felt him fall asleep. The February storm outside had quieted down and the night was once again eerie in its stillness. It felt like if she listened hard enough, she could sense the vastness of eternity in its depths. The prospect of spending it with him was wondrous and magical and put a smile on her face. But imagining living forever without him by her side? The thought terrified her in its bleakness; even the idea of it threatened to overwhelm her and she quickly perished the thought. For the first time she thought she understood what made her, the _other_ her, ask Alaric for help. Her decision to forget. As precious as the memories of Damon were to her – the new ones as well as the ones she’d begun to recover – there was no possible way she could ever go on living knowing what she was missing. She didn’t know if she would make the same decision again, and it was easy to theorize when one wasn’t facing the prospect of a lifetime (or several) without the man that was sleeping soundly in her arms. But she understood now on a cellular level the forces that would drive a person to this ultimate step.

She wrapped her arms tighter around Damon’s sleeping form and pressed her face into his hair.

***

Damon woke up alone. As a general rule, he didn’t like it. He had kind of been looking forward to sharing a shower with Elena, but a quick scan of the room and adjoining bathroom confirmed that the woman was nowhere to be found.

He heard faint voices drift up from down below in the kitchen. It seemed Stefan was already up as well. Damon hopped in the shower – regrettably quick and depressingly uneventful – and threw on some clothes before making it downstairs. He found his brother at the stove, flipping pancakes while Elena sat on the counter, a safe distance away from the sizzling frying pan. There was a faint but still traceable acrid smell in the air, as if something had burned quite recently, but Damon’s quick look around didn’t reveal any actual burned pancakes.

“What’s going on in here?” Damon asked, still buttoning up his shirt as he walked up to Elena for a good morning kiss. It was brief but sweet. Before he could pull away, Elena grabbed the lapels of his shirt and started doing up the buttons for him. Damon was vain enough to admit that it did something wonderful to his ego to see how Elena’s eyes had lit up at his entrance and how all her attention was focused on him.

“Elena tried to make breakfast,” Stefan replied, ignoring the two of them. “I felt it prudent to volunteer my talents as a chef after I saved the kitchen before she could burn it to the ground.”

“Ha ha,” Elena replied, pulling a face in Stefan’s direction. To Damon she said, “It wasn’t that bad. Only the frying pan was burning; not the kitchen.”

“Elena, baby,” Damon pleaded, “stop trying to burn down this house. We just got it back.”

She smiled at him and pecked him on the lips again, done with the buttons now. Damon squeezed her knee in thanks.

“I remembered you telling me about how you and Bonnie had pancakes for breakfast each morning and I woke up craving some,” she explained.

“But you can’t cook,” Damon reminded her plaintively. “Or did Ric compel you to forget that too?”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?” Elena wondered.

“Nah,” Damon drawled. “Just give it 10 to 15 years. I’m sure I’ll grow tired of it eventually.”

Elena rolled her eyes in response, but was secretly thrilled to hear that his version of the future obviously included her too. To be fair, she hadn’t really been in doubt about it, but it was still nice to have it confirmed.

Damon grabbed a cup and poured himself a coffee, adding a few spoonsful of sugar to it. He sat down at the long dining table, reaching for one of the witch’s grimoires and went into research mode.

Elena watched him for a few moments, a fond smile on her face, before turning her attention back to Stefan. She caught him staring at her, though she couldn’t read the peculiar look on his face. It made her feel self-conscious. She smiled at him and hoped it didn’t come across as awkward, then slipped down from the counter and joined Damon at the table, reading over his shoulder.

***

After the three of them had had breakfast together, Elena excused herself to go upstairs to have a shower and to dress for the day.

Damon was in the process of loading the last of the dishes into the dishwasher when he said, using his task as an excuse not to make eye contact with Stefan, “So, I couldn’t help but notice you were staring at Elena earlier.”

Stefan halted in his tracks. “What is this? You’re playing the jealous boyfriend now?”

“No, not jealous,” Damon disagreed. “Just wondering if you got something to say to me.”

“Is her memory back? Can she remember again?” Stefan asked, foregoing an answer.

Damon clenched his jaw, a foreboding in his gut about where this was headed. “Nope, still nada,” he replied. “What, no comment?” he challenged his brother.

“Comment?” Stefan looked confused.

“About me and Elena? Me sleeping with her, seducing her, when she still can’t remember neither her feelings for me, nor our life together. That’s what this is about, right? You heard us last night and now you want to give me a piece of your mind about how I could possibly do such a thing?”

Stefan stared at him for a full minute, then shook his head and said, “No, Damon. That’s not what this is about. I just…”

“I just what? Spit it out.”

“She seemed…” Stefan hesitated before continuing, “She seemed like her old self. Like the Elena who had her memories back.”

“Well, she doesn’t.”

Stefan nodded. “I realize that now.”

“Your point?” Damon didn’t mean to sound so hostile, but couldn’t help it.

Seemingly impervious to Damon’s hostility, Stefan regarded Damon with an almost benign expression. “My point is that maybe I was wrong. Maybe it’s not her memories that make Elena Elena. Maybe it’s you, brother.” With that, Stefan clapped him on the shoulder and left, leaving a speechless Damon behind.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never seen a single episode of The Originals and am not familiar with their storyline and/or timeline. Hopefully nothing that happened there messes with a flashback we see in this chapter.

***

“What are you doing?”

Elena, startled, dropped her phone, and looked guiltily at Damon. He was gazing at her sideways through one eye, the other one assumedly still asleep.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“Uh-huh,” Damon replied, dismissively. “What were you doing?”

“Nothing.” Elena bit her lip, trying to look innocent and most likely achieving the exact opposite.

“Uh-huh,” Damon said again. “What’s this?” He rummaged in the sheets for the dropped object and held up her phone.

“My phone?”

“I can see that. Why were you hiding it?”

Elena blushed and looked away. “I wasn’t.”

“Were you calling for help?” Damon tried to joke but it fell flat on Elena.

“Leave it, Damon. Please? It’s nothing.”

“It sure looks like something.”

Elena huffed. “It’s silly.”

“Perfect! I’m in the mood for silly. Entertain me!” Damon said. When she still didn’t respond, Damon turned serious and rose up on his elbows. “You know you can talk to me, Elena. What were you doing with it?”

Elena sighed in capitulation. “Taking a picture.”

“Of me?”

“Of us.”

“Why?”

“Because I’d like to have one.”

“We have plenty of pictures of us,” Damon said.

“I don’t.”

“You do. I think you hid them in your Damon box. I don’t know what you did with all the digital copies on your computer, or your phone, for that matter. I don’t think you went so far as to delete them completely.”

“Those are all from before,” she said, studiously avoiding his gaze.

Damon looked at her for a long time, she could feel his eyes on her but didn’t look up. He then fumbled with the phone.

“Smile,” he said. As she lifted her head to look at him, she heard the camera shutter click. She smiled, still staring at him and not at the camera pointed at her.

“You’re supposed to smile at the camera,” he said, but took another picture anyway even as she still continued to look at him.

He turned to her with a smile. “The camera’s over there,” he said, grinning.

“I know,” she said and the camera went off one more time as they both stared in each other’s eyes. Elena leaned in to kiss him and felt Damon’s smile under her lips as the camera shutter continued to click rapidly.

***

Elena had planned to say goodbye to Damon and Stefan after their shared breakfast and return to her dorm. But then Damon had walked into the bedroom just as she was coming out of his shower. And he’d given her that look, and she couldn’t _not_ wrap his arms around him, which ended with them tumbling onto the bed and suddenly it was late morning, closer to lunch time.

Luckily, she didn’t have work today, but she wanted to visit Liz in the hospital and she needed to talk to Caroline as well. But then Damon announced that he was headed to the hospital as well and suggested they drive together. Elena agreed and spent the whole drive wondering if she should mention last night’s recovered memories. She didn’t want to raise Damon’s hopes if there weren’t more to follow; she was already trying hard not to get hers up again. And she knew that he would be elated. Even though he seemed fine when they were together, Elena knew the fact that she chose to forget still bothered him. She decided not to say anything yet.

After checking in with Caroline’s mom quickly and promising to return later, she excused herself to give Damon and Liz some time alone, but Damon followed her out.

“Take these,” Damon said, dangling the keys of his car in front of her.

“Why are you giving me your car keys?” she asked, not following.

“So you can take my car and drive to your dorm.”

“But—” Elena wasn’t actually sure how she was going to respond but was spared an answer as Damon reached for her hand and placed the keys in her palm.

“I won’t need it today; I was going to stay here and keep Liz company. You were planning on coming back later anyway. It works out perfectly.”

“If you’re sure…” Elena didn’t sound sure. Damon loved his car and he’d only just gotten it back. She had been planning on walking back. They were in the teaching hospital that happened to be on campus. It was quite a walk back to her dorm, but definitely manageable.

Damon smiled, unconcerned. “Just promise not to drive it into a building to set off some explosion, ok?”

Elena paused for a second as an image swam before her eyes. _Damon’s hand covering hers over the middle console, an unspoken ‘I love you’ in both their eyes._ She smiled and nodded. “Promise.”

“Good.” Damon nodded towards the exit behind her, signaling her to leave.

“Hey,” she held him back before he could return to Liz’s room. Grabbing the lapel of his jacket she pulled him in and kissed his lips. “Later,” she spoke against his mouth before she turned and walked away.

He stood in the hallway, watching her leave. Before she could disappear behind the corner, she called out, without turning around, “Stop ogling my ass.”

“Just goes to show how little you know me,” Damon called after her. “I wasn’t ogling your ass. I was staring at your legs.” And added more quietly, “I hadn’t reached the ass yet.”

Elena laughed as the doors closed on her.

***

Elena slid behind the wheel of the blue Camaro. She reached for the seatbelt as a sudden image slammed into her head. She and Damon driving, the top down, both of them laughing, the open road in front of them. A road trip, Elena realized. She sat completely still, barely breathing, wondering if more of the picture would reveal itself to her. Her patience paid off. She saw both of them walking through the busy streets of a city. It was nighttime, but the city was alive, people milling in the streets, music on every corner. Everybody was drinking, dancing, having fun. She looked around but it wasn’t like before.

This time it wasn’t like a movie was playing in her head. This time she was watching everything through her own eyes, the eyes of the Elena that had been present in that moment. She felt Damon’s arm wrapped loosely around her waist as they walked, felt his breath as he leaned in to whisper something in her ear and felt the responding laughter shake both their bodies. She saw rainbow flags on many of the buildings and there were colorful beads being thrown over wrought iron balconies, and she finally recognized the place: New Orleans.

The scene moved forward as if someone hit speed forward. _Suddenly they were somewhere else; it was still New Orleans, Elena knew, possibly still the same evening/night. But these streets were less crowded and lined with gawkers. There was a guy balancing on a unicycle while juggling burning batons. They stopped to watch for a short while before moving on. Elena would have passed the table completely, but Damon stopped in front of an old woman behind a small desk, dark-skinned and dark-eyed, old, but of indeterminable age, with an impenetrable gaze, but with a benign expression on her face – a fortune teller._

_Elena laughed and shook her head no, but Damon pulled her closer._

_“Come on,” he cajoled. “Let’s see what the universe has in store for us. Might be nice to have a warning for whatever challenge we have to face next.”_

_“I can tell you exactly what the next challenge is gonna be: college.”_

_“I’ve been to college before; you’ll manage.”_

_“Okay, then. Long-distance relationship?” Elena threw in._

_“Hmm. Never had one of those. Ooh, I know: Let’s ask this nice woman about it.”_

_“Damon,” Elena tried to deter him._

_“Go on,” he said, ignoring her protests. “Let her tell you about your future while I get us some of those must-try foods, how about it? I did promise you a culinary trip you wouldn’t forget, after all.” He slipped a bill to the woman and was off before Elena could reply anything to that._

_“Give me your hand, honey.” Elena, startled, looked down to the woman that was staring up at her with the darkest eyes Elena had ever seen._

_She hesitated for half a second, then nodded and sat down, extending her right hand. The older woman took it, but at the first skin contact she recoiled. Elena was startled into speechlessness, but the old woman quickly caught herself and grabbed Elena’s hand again before she could pull it back._

_“I’m sorry,” the dark-skinned old lady said. “I thought I knew all the vampires in this town. You must be new,” she spoke quietly._

_“Just passing through,” Elena said, bewildered, and looked over her shoulder, furtively searching for Damon._

_“Don’t worry,” the woman said, noticing Elena’s unease. “I will return you to your man unharmed.”_

_She took Elena’s hand more fully in her own, but instead of turning it over and reading her palm, as Elena had expected, she simply held it loosely and covered it with her other palm. “You love him,” a statement, not a question. “He’s like an aura you’re wearing. It’s all around you. And he loves you too, Cherie. Mmh, such passion,” she spoke almost to herself and Elena didn’t think her input was required. “Lucky girl,” the woman commented with a chuckle and Elena shifted on her chair, ready to leave._

_“Let’s look ahead, shall we? Ah yes.” Her forehead wrinkled. “Oh, you’ve known loss.” Elena stiffened. “I’m afraid you’ll know more, no way to prevent it. I’m sorry. And pain, oh, such unbearable pain. I’m sorry about that too. Not quite what you expected to hear, I’m guessing?” Elena remained quiet. “The price for true love always needs to be paid up front. Hold still, child,” the old woman admonished her as Elena started fidgeting more. “Yes, there it is.” Her features suddenly relaxed into a beatific smile that transformed her whole face. “Oh, Cherie. You’ll know love and you’ll know happiness; you’ll have a whole lifetime of it. The man that commands ravens and bends fog to his will is going to make sure of it.”_

_Finally, the woman let go of her hand and Elena quickly scrambled out of the chair. She was willing to brush off everything the woman had said to her as clever fortune teller tricks, but she distinctly remembered Bonnie saying something quite similar to her many years ago. “Thanks,” Elena pressed out, not really meaning it and already scanning the small crowd for Damon. She spotted him leaning against the corner of a building across the small square, holding up two larger paper cones filled with fries topped with all kinds of delicious things. He waved and smirked at her._

_“You think you have to compromise to be happy, but you’re wrong,” the woman called out to her before Elena could move too far away. “You’ll be a wonderful mother, Cherie.”_

_Now_ that _Elena found unnecessarily cruel. She didn’t bother give a reply. Instead, she jerked her hand away and hurried over to Damon’s side, intent to forget this unpleasant incident, not wanting it to mar their perfect night._

Elena remembered this scene so perfectly. It was strange – one second she had no recollection of it whatsoever, the next she blinked and suddenly there it was, all real and like it was never gone at all. Elena shook herself, took a few deep breaths and started the car. She’d have to talk to Caroline. Maybe she had told her anything about a recent road trip to New Orleans.

***

“You’re here!” Caroline exclaimed in surprise when she breezed into their shared dorm room.

“Yeah, just came in. Everything okay?” she added when she saw Caroline fluttering about the room, hurriedly collecting things.

“I’m just getting some stuff. I don’t think I’ll be back here for a while. We’re going to get my mom and bring her to the cabin. I’ll be staying there with her. You don’t mind, do you? You’re never here anymore anyway.”

Elena bit her lip, knowing Caroline wasn’t being glib on purpose.

“I was staying with Damon,” Elena explained.

“Yeah, I kind of figured after our last encounter.”

“Right.” Elena bit her lip, trying to focus on more important things right now. “About that, Caroline,” she began.

“Here we go again,” Caroline muttered.

“What?”

“Weren’t you going to apologize for Damon being Damon, like always?”

“No, I wasn’t. That’s not what I was going to say. I came to say I’m sorry about your mom. And I’m sorry that you had to deal with Damon on top of what you’re going through; it was really bad timing.”

“But you’re not sorry about what he said to me?” Caroline specified.

Elena chewed on her lip some more. Maybe it wasn’t the right timing to have this out right now, but Elena hoped it would clear the air once and for all. Besides, after last night, she’d decided she wouldn’t allow anyone to badmouth Damon anymore. She tried to be gentle when she explained, “Care, when you got together with my _ex-boyfriend_ Matt, I was happy for you. When Bonnie wanted to jump _my brother’s_ bones, I gave her my blessing. When you fell in love with Tyler, I was on your side. Have I ever said even a single word about you and Klaus? Or when you started to develop feelings for Stefan? No. I never judged any of you. And it’s not fair that I have to defend my feelings and my relationship with Damon to you and Bonnie because you what? Expect me to forever be in love with the guy I fell for when I was 17?”

Elena took a deep breath and wondered if she should continue. Caroline had stopped throwing things in her carry-on bag and instead was sitting on the edge of her bed, eerily quiet. After a short internal debate, Elena continued, “We’re back together, Damon and I. He makes me happy. And that is such an understatement. I don’t remember if this is how I felt before. I just know that right now – it feels more real to me than anything else. It feels right in a way nothing else in this screwed-up vampire life does. And I’m done explaining it, or defending it, or taking crap for it.”

“Yes,” Caroline whispered.

“Huh?”

“Yes to the other part. Yes, that’s exactly what you felt for him before you asked Alaric to make you forget. Elena, I’ve known you all my life. You, Bonnie, and I, we’ve been friends since kindergarten. I’ve watched you lose your parents, your brother, your best friend, your first love – all of them broke you, but every time you somehow, miraculously found the will to live on. But you didn’t, couldn’t, live without Damon. Watching you lose him? I’ve never seen you so destroyed. So, yes, to that last part. You told us before, repeatedly. And I’m sorry we didn’t see it. Sorry we didn’t listen. Sorry Bonnie and I didn’t take you seriously when you said you wanted to be with Damon. Sorry for not supporting you. Sorry for pushing you towards Liam when Damon came back. Sorry for meddling. Sorry—”

She would have gone on except Elena slammed into her and hugged her fiercely. “It’s okay,” she muttered, tears streaming down her face when she felt Caroline’s breath hitch with heavy sobs.

“No,” Caroline protested, “It’s really, really not. I’ve been a terrible friend.” She cried harder.

“I forgive you,” Elena laughed through the tears. “While we’re on the topic, well kind of at least, can I ask you a question?”

“Sounds ominous,” Caroline replied, but waved her hands in an ‘out with it’ motion.

“Care, did I ever tell you about a road trip Damon and I took?”

“Which one?” Caroline replied. “The summer before college I barely saw you at all. If you weren’t holed up in the Salvatore House, you were out with Damon or gone away for the weekend with Damon, or taking a road trip with Damon.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. But have I ever mentioned a trip to New Orleans?”

Caroline thought for a second. “Yeah. What do you want to know?”

Elena shrugged. “Well, basically, if it really happened which you just confirmed.”

“Yeah. It wasn’t planned or anything, I don’t think. But then again that’s how most of your adventures started out.”

“So, it really did happen. It wasn’t a fantasy,” Elena muttered to herself.

“Oh my god. Wait! You remember?” Caroline asked.

“What?”

“You said it wasn’t a fantasy; so, you remember…” Caroline prompted.

“Well,” Elena hesitated. “Not everything. Just a few things. Like clips from a movie, no context. And only a couple of them.”

“That’s amazing. I’m really happy for you. Are you happy?”

“Yes!” Elena exclaimed. “I want my memories back. More than anything.”

“When did it start? How?” Caroline exclaimed, more enthusiastic about it than Elena had expected.

“I’ve gotten images before, flashes. Nothing real; just an idea of an image, really. But last night, something came back – an entire conversation. Not just a picture.”

Caroline beamed at her. “Wow. What triggered it?”

Elena shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well, what were you doing before it happened?” Caroline pushed. Elena blushed remembering the activities of last night. “Oh,” Caroline breathed, understanding.

“Don’t judge,” Elena warned.

“I’m not!” Caroline held up both hands in defense. “No judging here. Besides,” she added, “I had already assumed you were back in his bed.”

“What? Why?”

“Come on, Elena. You haven’t spent many nights in your own bed since Damon returned.”

“That may be, but you’re still wrong. It was mostly driving all night, or research, or talking, or falling asleep exhausted next to each other. We never… I mean, last night was the first time we—” Elena stopped, not willing to discuss her and Damon’s sex life.

“You mean to say you slept next to a veritable sex object who loves you and came back from hell for you and you two didn’t jump each other’s bones? Not even a little? Before last night, I mean?”

Elena shook her head in confirmation.

“Damn,” Caroline said. “I might have to give him points after all.”


	9. Chapter 9

It was well after midnight and the atmosphere in the kitchen was somber. They were all seated around the dining table in the Salvatore kitchen, each nursing a drink, nobody saying anything. There was nothing to say, really. Liz was dead and they were all dealing with the shock of the loss. Caroline kept staring catatonically into distance, Stefan throwing concerned looks in her direction every couple of seconds. He’d tried taking her hand, but Caroline didn’t want to be touched and everyone respected her wishes. Damon was in a repeating loop of filling his glass, swirling the amber liquid while staring into the glass as if it held answers before downing it and starting anew. Matt was glancing between all of them, at a loss for words, but clearly uncomfortable with the silence. Tyler’s head rested on his arms on the table, eyes focused unblinkingly on the opposite wall. And Elena, seated across from Caroline, kept glancing towards Damon at the end of the table. She felt itchy. Losing yet another person that mattered to her made her feel cut off from everything, untethered. She needed to connect again – to the world, to the people around her, to reality. All of them felt miles away now and with every minute she felt like she was floating even further away from them.

Her glance slid once more to Damon. She wanted him to put his arms around her and tell her that they would get through this. But she didn’t dare move closer to him; this wasn’t about her. This was about Caroline who’d just lost her mother. The itch under her skin got worse; it was almost physical now. She had to consciously remind herself not to scratch.

She felt eyes on herself and looked up. Damon was staring at her, worry in his eyes. She quickly collected herself, but he must have noticed that something was amiss because he kept watching her closely. She tried assuaging his worries by sending a smile his way, but he didn’t seem to buy it. She wasn’t surprised; it had probably come out more like a grimace. She watched as he downed the last of the bourbon and stood up, making his way to Caroline. He spoke quietly with her and Elena tried not to listen, but vampire hearing wasn’t selective.

Damon confirmed that Caroline was, all things considered, okay for the moment and didn’t need anything from them right now. He asked if it would be alright with her if he and Elena retired for the night to which Caroline nodded vigorously.

“Yes, gosh, all of you. Go. It’s late and I have to start planning the funeral. Oh, and I should notify—” She broke off, sighed, and continued, “There’s so much to take care of.”

“Maybe it can wait until tomorrow?” Stefan gently suggested. “We should all head to bed now and you should rest too.”

Caroline refused, but Elena didn’t stay to find out how the argument got resolved. Damon took her hand and pulled her up from the bench. As they made their way through the parlor, Elena wanted to stop before the fire, so Damon came to a halt with her. Instead of proceeding upstairs, he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. She leaned into his chest and stared into the flames, letting his embrace tether her to reality.

“Another drink?” Damon asked after a long moment.

She nodded and he released her to go pour two glasses while Elena let herself sink into one of the sofas heavily. Damon returned with the drinks, but when he passed Elena hers, she took it and placed it on the floor next to her. Instead she grabbed his hand and tugged on it until he was sitting beside her on the sofa. She cuddled into his side, legs pulled up on the couch, Damon’s arm around her shoulders. For a long time, they sat there quietly, staring into the fire again, Damon nursing his drink and sharing it with Elena.

Suddenly she went completely stiff and Damon was about to ask what was wrong when she sighed and relaxed against him once more. He pulled her even closer and kissed her hair. In response, Elena nuzzled his neck and began kissing it but then stopped herself suddenly.

“Am I a bad person for wanting to be with you right now?” she asked, staring him right in the eyes.

“No,” Damon honestly replied. “It’s natural. When someone dies, we want to remind ourselves that we are still here, still alive.”

Elena thought this over for a few seconds and said, “Then make love to me, Damon. Slowly.”

Now it was Damon’s turn to freeze. He’d heard those particular words from Elena before. Then he shook himself mentally. Elena had never been shy in expressing what she liked or hesitant in asking for what she wanted, and what she wanted right then wasn’t all that much out of the ordinary. So, the fact that he was reminded of a night that had begun with that exact same statement didn’t mean anything. It was a mere coincidence.

He pushed off the sofa and stood before her, holding out a hand for her to grab. But when she did, he didn’t simply pull her toward the stairs. He bent and scooped her up and into his arms, carrying her upstairs, taking each step slowly, not in a hurry to get upstairs. Elena nestled into his arms and gently brushed away stray locks of hair from his forehead, stroking softly across his brow and kissing his temple.

Once in the bedroom, Damon lowered Elena gently to the bed. He started to undress her but she took his hands and directed them to his own button-down. Damon, momentarily unsure, did what she obviously wanted him to. When he opened the top button of his shirt, she did the same with the blouse she was wearing. Again, Damon halted. This too was familiar in the sense that they’d played this game before. But then Elena moved on to the next button of her blouse and Damon shook it off as another coincidence.

They continued slowly undressing themselves, Damon’s thinking mind slowly shutting down with every new bit of skin Elena revealed. Aside from Damon’s knee pressed against the side of Elena’s thigh they were barely touching, with the exception of occasional hands brushing as they removed their respective clothing until the only thing that remained were Elena’s black lace underwear. Damon made a move to help her remove them but she pushed his hand away. Instead, she gently pushed on his shoulder, encouraging him to lie down on his back.

She stretched out beside him and started kissing down his neck while her hands rested warmly on his chest. For a little while, Damon simply relaxed into the sheets and let himself enjoy her ministrations. After a few moments, he opened his mouth to say something, but she put her palm over his mouth, not letting him. He licked it. Elena lifted her head and grinned devilishly at him. Using her wet palm, she palmed the tip of his cock to gather even more moisture before wrapping her hand firmly around it and starting to jerk him off, torturously slow.

They didn’t break eye contact as Elena’s hand moved in time with his breaths. Damon was drowning in her eyes and couldn’t have looked away if his life depended on it. Elena was always intoxicating, but when she was in a mood like this, she was irresistible.

With one last feeble attempt he tried to participate in their lovemaking, but quickly got his cue from Elena to relax and enjoy as she peppered his whole body with kisses. Her progress was slow, but eventually she reached the sharp V of his hips. Her mouth joined her hand on his dick and she picked up the pace. Damon’s breathing picked up and despite his best efforts, his hips lifted off the bed and he started to thrust gently. Elena let him, occasionally moaning around him and sending vibrations through his body that he could feel down in his toes.

Even though it cost him all the self-control he had left, eventually he moaned, “Elena, stop.” Despite his plea, she didn’t let up. “You’ve gotta stop, baby, or I…" She stopped, pulling off of him with a lewd sounding plop.

Damon took a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart and step away from the metaphorical brink. Just when he thought he was back in control, she slid her mouth down his full length again. His cock hit the back of her throat but she didn’t stop. She took him even deeper, swallowed, and finally pulled back a little only to do it all over again.

Damon’s eyes rolled back in his head, every sinew in his body strained. He tried to say something but couldn’t think of any words. Her mouth was heaven and hell at once and when she looked up at him through her lashes, eyes meeting his full on, he finally knew for sure it wasn’t a coincidence. But it was too late. Everything was burning, the flames shot up his spine and he jerked his hips. His fingers itched to bury themselves in her hair, but she caught his hands and entwined their fingers together and hummed deep in her throat and Damon exploded.

The orgasm had fried his brain. It must have, because for minutes afterward he could only lie there, not able to respond to Elena’s touch. All he knew was that he wanted more of it, never wanted her to stop touching him.

When he finally regained command of his own limbs, he lifted an arm and rested a palm on her back, waiting for her to look up at him. She stopped painting patterns into his chest and met his eyes, a sweet smile playing on her lips. His other hand came up to trace her mouth. It was red and swollen and Damon wanted to kiss her, so he did, slow and languorous. When she made a move to straddle his hips, he stopped her. Now that his brain was online again, he remembered. Everything that happened tonight had already happened once before in pretty much exactly the same fashion. Damon wasn’t caught in some kind of déjà-vu – Elena really had been recreating the beginning of one of their most memorable nights.

“You remember,” Damon said after searching her face for a moment.

Elena shrugged, suddenly shy. “A little.”

“Define a little,” Damon demanded to know, eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Some images. A few more scenes, some with sound, some without, most without context. They fade in and fade out. It’s almost like watching a movie. Sometimes, if I concentrate hard enough, I can stretch it out, make it last longer, go on for a little bit further. And sometimes I get the full thing, a complete memory, context and all.”

“When did it start? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Damon asked, eager to hear more.

Elena stretched out on top of him, propping up her chin on her folded arms over his chest. “It started the night we drove around, remember? At first there were only pictures or sounds – after you told me about your favorite memory, I could hear the rain.” Damon nodded. He remembered, but back then he didn’t dare have hope, so he had filed it away as guesswork. “Then I remembered you, in bed, complaining about having clothes on. And then me, telling you to…” Elena almost blushed but went on, “…to take me. And how you wouldn’t touch me. That one threw me a little because but I couldn’t remember why you just wouldn’t when I so clearly wanted you to.”

Damon scrunched up his face, trying to remember which moment she was referring to. “The sire bond,” it finally dawned on him.

Elena nodded. “Yeah. Well, see? I’ve got no memories of that.” Damon opened his mouth to explain, but Elena stopped him. “It’s okay. I know I was sired to you. I talked to Caroline and she explained.”

“You talked to Caroline?” Damon grimaced.

Elena gazed at Damon for a moment. Damon and Caroline had made up, sort of, though not with words. But Damon had taken care of Liz while she was in the hospital and later at home and Caroline had admitted to Elena how much it meant to her. Elena was optimistic that with time they would work out the rest. “I don’t think she hates you as much as she used to,” Elena helpfully replied. “I bet if you two made an effort, you could even become friends.”

Damon grimaced, though Elena wasn’t sure if it was at her suggestion or the fact that he regretted laying into Caroline. She wouldn’t go so far as to say that he was sorry. She knew he probably wasn’t and she understood, agreed with him even, on some level. But she said all she needed to say on the subject. The rest was up to them; Elena wouldn’t get involved.

“Tell me more,” Damon prompted a change of topic.

“Next one came when I was driving your car. I suddenly remembered being in New Orleans with you and talking to a psychic,” Elena continued. “That one just slotted into place. It’s a weird feeling and hard to explain. And then, before, downstairs on the sofa… I remembered… this.” She nodded to the bed they were sprawled upon, meaning the sex they just had.

Damon smiled softly. “It’s coming back to you.”

Elena was careful to not get his hopes up too high. “Maybe. I hope so. Just…”

“What?” he asked.

“Don’t be disappointed if that is all that I get back, okay? I’m grateful for what I _can_ remember, even if it turns out to be the extent of it, alright? I don’t want you… _us_ ,” she corrected herself, “to live in a suspended state where we are constantly waiting for more.”

“Yeah,” Damon agreed.

Elena smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

“How much of that night do you remember?” Damon asked as he pulled away for air.

Elena thought for a moment, checked her memories, then said, “All of it?”

Damon grinned. “Good. Then you know, this was just the beginning.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even with compulsion I thought it was highly unrealistic to plan and then have a funeral on the same day. So I added another day in between the planning and the actual funeral/wake. This is the night before the wake.

Damon returned to his bedroom, hoping not to wake Elena. But unfortunately, the aesthetics of an open plan bathroom came with the disadvantage of not providing enough of a sound barrier, no matter how quiet he tried to be. Elena was watching him through sleepy eyes when he stepped out of the bathroom.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I tried to be quiet,” Damon apologized.

“’s okay. I wasn’t really sleeping yet,” Elena replied.

Damon shed his clothes, leaving only his briefs, and gracelessly faceplanted onto his side of the bed.

“Still no break-through?” Elena deduced. She scooted closer and stroked his hair. He’d been trying all day to write Liz’s eulogy but was stuck. Elena wished she could help him, but she honestly didn’t know how.

“Nuh-uh,” Damon replied, followed by a growl of frustration screamed into the pillow.

Elena moved down to his neck and started lightly massaging it. He was incredibly tense, but that came as no surprise. She moved to straddle his back and worked on his tense muscles. He would release a low growl whenever she managed to loosen a particularly tight spot, but aside from that neither of them spoke. When Elena felt him relax deeper into the mattress, she switched to light strokes along his back and moved back to lie beside him, assuming he had fallen asleep. After a few minutes though, Damon turned on his side to face her and placed an arm around her to pull her a little bit closer.

“Can’t sleep?” Elena asked in a hushed voice.

Damon shook his head ‘no’.

Elena cuddled closer and turned around in his arms, her back nestled into Damon’s chest. “I’d tell you a bedtime story, but I don’t know any,” Elena said.

Damon chuckled and pressed a kiss to the back of her head. “I know a good one. Wanna hear it?”

“Does it have knights in shining armor rescuing princesses and fighting dragons?”

“No. But it has vampires in John Varvatos, one very pretty damsel in distress, and at least one bad werewolf. Does that count?”

“I’d rather have the knight saving the princess story,” Elena replied, just to make Damon scowl. She knew she was successful when he bit her shoulder lightly. 

But he proceeded to tell a story nonetheless. “Alright. Let’s see… Once upon a time in a small village far, far away there lived two brothers. The older one was smart, dark, and handsome, the other was… meh, I guess he was okay, too. Maybe a bit too broody.”

Elena chuckled silently. “Oh, he sounds delightful. Tell me more about that younger one,” she said, mock-earnestly and turned around in his arms so she could see his reaction.

Damon grumbled, narrowing his eyes at her in a mock-threat. “You’re doing it wrong,” he complained. “You’re supposed to root for the dark and brave one.”

“You didn’t say he was brave.”

“You didn’t let me finish. Now will you let me tell the story?”

Elena mimicked zipping her mouth. Damon pecked her lips and got more comfortable, rolling onto his back with Elena’s head on his shoulder. He then continued, “The brothers were best friends and did everything together until one day, an evil witch disguised as the most beautiful woman, arrived in the village und put them all under a spell. She was cunning; nobody noticed that they were in fact bewitched, but they were all doing the witch’s bidding. This went on for weeks until one day, the evil bitch—”

“Witch,” Elena inserted.

“Huh?”

“The evil _witch_. You said bitch.”

“Either is fine, really,” Damon muttered. “Shall I continue?”

“Please,” Elena said.

“So, where were we?”

“The evil witch did something evil?”

“Right. The evil witch couldn’t just be happy with all the people doing anything she wanted them to, no. She got it into her head that they had to love her too. So, she worked her magic and made everyone fall in love with her. Everyone but our hero, the smart, dark, and handsome brother.”

Elena grinned and couldn’t help but tease, “Oh. Is this where the story takes creative liberty and veers off reality?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. This is a fictional tale. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental,” Damon quoted.

“Riiight,” Elena nodded. “Sorry.”

“As you should be. Now hush. You’re ruining the story.”

Elena put on her most contrite expression. “I apologize. Please continue.”

“Alright. So, the dark and handsome brother fought with all his might to resist the evil witch. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t make him love her. And she did try everything – sweettalk, threats, seduction. Our hero simply wouldn’t budge. Because, you see, his heart already belonged to another.”

“Ahhh,” Elena said.

“Yeah,” Damon replied and absentmindedly placed a kiss atop her hairline. He continued, “The kingdom was ruled by a fierce but benevolent king who had a beautiful daughter. She was an angel come to life, with ebony hair, sinful lips, chocolate eyes you could drown in, and a voice so lovely, anybody who heard it would stop to listen.”

“Oh, she sounds—”

Elena didn’t get to elaborate on what exactly she sounded like because Damon placed a finger across her lips. “Tut-tut-tut,” he stopped her interruption. Elena put on her most apologetic expression and settled down.

Once he was certain that she wasn’t going to interrupt again, Damon continued, “Every day the princess would go for a ride around the countryside and would pass the tiny village where the brothers lived. And every day our hero would wait for her outside and watch her as she rode by. And every day, even though she was a princess and didn’t have to acknowledge the presence of someone like him who was of lower birth, she would greet him and smile at him. And every day our hero would fall a little bit more in love with her. He knew he was not worthy of her, her being a noblewoman and he not even a knight. But still he loved her and that saved him from the mind tricks of the evil witch.

“When he saw how everyone had fallen under her spell, he tried to reason with them. He explained that what they were feeling wasn’t real and that they were compelled to do the things they did by magic. But nobody would believe him, of course. Not even his own brother.”

“How tragic,” Elena mumbled, amused and charmed by Damon’s storytelling. She continued to listen, occasionally inserting a hum of appreciation or an exclamation of excitement as Damon continued to spin a heroic tale of a brother’s perilous journey and fight against evil thus proving him worthy of the beautiful princess who inevitably fell passionately in love with him.

Elena smiled. “I’ve got to say, the story did not end as I expected.”

“What?! How so?” Damon asked, acting offended at her critique. “The hero killed the evil witch and true love triumphed.”

“Yes. But shouldn’t they get married in the end? And where’s the ‘they lived happily ever after’?”

“Well,” Damon said, “that’s in the sequel.”

“There’s a sequel?”

“Every good story has a sequel,” Damon said.

“Good to know,” Elena replied. She pushed up on the bed a little, resting her head next to Damon’s on his pillow. She lifted a hand and traced his features with a finger; from his eyebrows, over his cheekbones, to his chin. He let her and watched her silently.

Somewhere in the other wing of the house, Caroline was having one of the worst nights of her life, but in here, Elena felt completely content. Yes, she was sad for losing Liz and knew she would be for a long time to come, and she was missing Bonnie like crazy, and she worried for Jeremy, all alone in a foreign city. And yet, despite all that, she allowed herself not to feel guilty for being happy in this moment. Maybe it was because she knew how fleeting these moments could be, because she appreciated it even more when life sent her moments like these – pockets of peace and contentment. 

***

“Tell me a secret,” Elena asked. “Something even the other Elena didn’t know.”

“The other Elena? Is that how you see it?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do and I will. But just for the record – there is only one Elena. You know how I know? Because I love the ‘new’ you just the same as the ‘old’ you.”

Elena felt a sudden wetness in her eyes and blinked quickly, glad that Damon couldn’t see her face. She entwined her fingers with his and squeezed gently. “The secret,” she prompted again.

“Okay, okay. A secret I haven’t told you before… Hmm. Oh, I don’t think I ever told you that, but I used to watch you sleep way back when. You were with Stefan already, but sometimes I’d creep into your room, watch you for a while, and be jealous. You were so in love with my brother. And so in denial about me.”

“You were stalking me?!” Elena exclaimed.

“Only a little,” Damon defended himself. “Not in a creepy way, though I guess there really is no way of making it sound non-creepy. It was just that… From the moment I first saw you, I couldn’t stay away from you.”

“Because you were in love with me?”

Damon pulled a grimace. “As much as the romantic in me wants to say yes, the answer is no. Not back then. Not from the beginning. I _wanted_ you from the moment I saw you. You intrigued me and I wanted you in my life. But I started falling for you that moment in your kitchen, when you said you were sorry for me losing Katherine. Do you remember that?”

Elena thought for a minute while absentmindedly playing with Damon’s fingers. “I think so. Yes. But…”

“What?”

“Nothing. Just… Trying to figure out which of my memories are real and which were altered by Alaric.”

“You can tell the difference?”

“Yes, if I concentrate. But I don’t think he did anything to my memories of that time. I…”

“Just say it,” Damon prompted when he felt her hesitation.

“That was the time when I… disliked you most.”

“You can say hated, Elena.”

“You killed Vicky. And Lexi. And one of the teachers. You were all for killing Caroline when she turned.”

“I tend to act out when I’m in emotional turmoil. And realizing I was falling for my brother’s girlfriend, whom I could never have, didn’t exactly make me feel like going out to pick flowers.”

“You loved Katherine when she chose Stefan; it didn’t make you lose control over your impulses,” Elena threw in.

“Because that wasn’t love. What I feel for you – that’s love. I know the difference now.” He said it so casually, like it was the simplest of truths and he had come to realize and accept that a long time ago. He probably had; it was Elena who was still trying to untangle her feelings, realign what she felt now with what she remembered. Though in the past days and weeks things had started to make sense to her again. And maybe, she thought, she too could tell the difference now. But that was a riddle to solve another day.

***

The night had gotten late, but still neither Damon nor Elena could sleep.

“I’m going to miss this,” Elena said suddenly into the silence of the dark.

“Hm?” Damon returned, his head lolling on her chest. Sometime in the night, Elena had reclined against the pillows with Damon cradled between her legs.

“Do you realize we haven’t spent more than a handful of nights apart since you came back?” Elena asked.

“And you plan to end this lucky streak?” he half-joked.

“I have to go back to Whitmore soon. After the funeral, I’m sure Caroline won’t want to stay in Mystic Falls and I don’t want to leave her alone in the dorms. Besides, I really need to go back to classes.”

Damon grumbled something unintelligible. Elena moved from drawing circles on his back and shoulders to combing through his hair with her fingers. She scratched across his scalp and he purred. “Mhmm. My mother used to do that when we were little,” Damon spoke quietly.

“Really?”

He nodded and scooted further down to lie next to Elena, head placed on her stomach. She continued to scratch his head.

“Yeah, whenever Stefan or I got sick, she’d sit with us all night, pet our hair. Tell us stories of faraway lands that she read about in one of her books. She loved to read and to tell stories.”

Elena smiled to herself. So that was where Damon had gotten it from. Out loud she said, “She sounds like a great mom.”

“She was, up to a point,” Damon replied.

“What do you mean?”

“When I turned 12, our father decided I was too old for that kind of treatment. That was only for children and I was a man now, so I better start acting accordingly.”

For a wild and reckless moment Elena thought, ‘ _Our_ children will never be too old for head scratches’ before she remembered that children were not in her future any longer. The thought took her breath away; it felt not unlike that time when Kol had driven a wooden spire through her, only more painful. To cover up the painful stab in her heart, she quickly turned back to the conversation, “And your mom never went against him?”

“She wouldn’t dare. She was scared of him; we all were. My father was not a good man. I get that from him,” he added the last bit with a bitter undertone.

“You’re not like him, Damon,” Elena said.

“How can you know? You never met him and, thank God for little mercies, you never will.”

“I don’t have to know him. I know you. And I know you’re not a bad man.” Before Damon could interrupt with a protest, Elena continued, “You do bad things, but you do them because of poor judgement, not because you’re bad.”

Damon didn’t respond and Elena continued to stroke his hair, occasionally moving down to his neck and up again. The night outside slowly began to lighten.

***

Thanks to Caroline’s organizational skills, the funeral went as planned and the after-funeral reception was also going well. Elena had heard many wonderful stories and anecdotes about Liz and hoped they would help Caroline cope with the loss of her mother, knowing that she was loved and missed by so many people.

Elena took a look around in search of Caroline. She hadn’t seen her in a while. She couldn’t find her now either, but her eyes stopped on Damon. He sat alone at a table at the far back of the Mystic Grill, chair turned towards the room, but a bit removed from all the other guests. He was staring into space, a vacant expression on his face. Damon didn’t have many friends and Elena knew that losing Liz had hit him particularly hard.

Shelving her concern for Caroline for the moment, she walked over to her boyfriend. He didn’t look up when she came closer, but when she was close enough, he pressed his forehead to her stomach. Both her hands wound into his hair as she offered silent comfort. They had barely slept the past two nights and the exhaustion sat heavily on top of the grief weighing him down. His arms came up and wound tightly around her middle as he pushed his face deeper into her body. Elena wound her arms around his shoulders, her heart breaking for him. They held each other for a few minutes, not speaking a word.

Elena was still carding fingers through Damon’s hair when suddenly she felt eyes upon her. Not letting go of Damon, she took a slow look around the restaurant and her eyes met Stefan’s across the room. He glanced down at Damon who still had his head buried in Elena’s stomach and sent her an apologetic smile, clearly not wanting to disturb them.

“Caroline’s been looking for you,” Stefan quietly spoke, Elena’s vampire ears barely picked up the sound. She nodded to signal that she had understood him and turned her attention back to her boyfriend.

“Hey,” she called quietly.

Damon slowly raised his head and looked at her, blinking slowly.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked after a while.

Damon nodded and loosened his hold on her.

“I have to go find Caroline,” Elena explained. “But I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

Elena pulled back a little and gazed down at Damon for a minute. Then she leaned down, took his face in both hands and kissed him gently. Her hair fell around them both, shielding them from view and cocooning them in a false sense of privacy. The words were on her tongue and she had to bite down on her lip not to say them. Right now was neither the time nor the place for that. But as she was about to pull away from Damon, she realized that neither the time nor the place mattered. What mattered was this moment.

Stroking both thumbs across his cheekbones, she pecked his lips again. “I love you,” she whispered.

Damon nodded, a quick smile flitting over his face. “Love you too,” he whispered back.

Elena’s thumb brushed Damon’s bottom lip as she reluctantly pulled away to go and find her friend. As she turned, she found Stefan still watching her and Damon from across the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Damon ended the call despite Elena’s friendly recorded voice asking him to leave a message. He had left several already throughout the night. It was morning now. He wasn’t usually bothered by his girlfriend not picking up the phone or returning his calls immediately because he didn’t want to be _that_ kind of boyfriend. And while Bonnie being back was news he was sure she would like to know ASAP, it wasn’t the kind of news you shared in a voicemail or a text.

“I don’t know why she’s not picking up. Last text I got from her she said she was going to Whitmore to look for Caroline,” Damon said.

“Maybe she found her, everything was okay, and she went to class,” Bonnie suggested, not sounding too convinced.

“Maybe, but given that this is Mystic Falls, not bloody likely,” Damon said. “Come on, I’ll drive you to Whitmore.”

***

“Bonnie?” Elena couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

“I’m back,” Bonnie said with a shrug and the next second they were both hugging the living daylights out of each other.

“How—” Elena began but was interrupted.

“Next time you have 15 missed calls from your boyfriend, maybe give him a call back?” Elena whipped her head around at Damon’s voice. He stood in the doorway and watched Bonnie and her hug each other and Elena realized he must have been the one to drive her here.

Elena let go of Bonnie and walked towards him, smiling. “Sorry, I was busy coordinating the search for Caroline, talking to Stefan; things have been crazy.”

“It’s okay. I get it. Any news on that front?”

“No. Still no trace of Caroline. Maybe Bonnie can do a locator spell?” Elena glanced over her shoulder at Bonnie with a questioning gaze.

“Looks like I came back just in time,” Bonnie replied.

“Okay, then. You two figure out what to do about Blondie. I gotta head back, check up on mommy dearest,” Damon said.

“What?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Damon replied, kissing Elena’s forehead, “After you two had time to catch up. By the way, you get first dibs on Bonnie on account of her being _your_ best friend first. But as soon as you’re done, I expect her to be returned to the Salvatore Mansion for some quality bonding time with yours truly.”

Bonnie rolled her eyes. “Love you too, Damon,” she said. Damon grinned at her, not the usual sardonic smirk, but an actual happy grin. Elena could only stare in bafflement.

“I think it’s going to take me some time to get used to the fact that you two are friends now,” Elena replied.

“Might be easier to just wait until he does something to fuck this up,” Bonnie said and send a challenging grin in Damon’s direction who replied with a rude gesture. Elena just shook her head at their antics.

When Damon was about to leave, she held him back, pulling him in for a lingering kiss that was a ‘thank you’ and a ‘see you later’ both.

***

“So, judging by that goodbye kiss, all is well again with you and Damon?”

“Yes, I think so. It feels good. I assume he told you everything? What I’ve done?”

“Yeah, we spent the night catching up. Can’t believe that after everything you two went through to be together, you would go and erase him from your life like that.”

Elena took Bonnie’s hands in hers and led her to the bed, where they both sat down. Elena tried to explain, as best as she could, “I know and believe me, I will never not feel guilty about it. I don’t really remember what exactly happened after you two disappeared, but I guess, I lost myself there for a while.”

“And nobody noticed? You must have been spiraling all summer.”

“Well, Stefan left town and eventually stopped checking in. Alaric had his hands full adjusting to being a vampire and controlling his blood lust. Caroline was so busy pretending nothing had changed, renting a place next to the town border and having picknicks with her mom. Matt turned into a one-man-army. And Jeremy was holed up in the Salvatore Mansion, barely ever leaving the city limits.”

“You all sound messed up beyond belief, if you don’t mind me saying.”

Elena laughed. “Oh, god. We do sound messed up, don’t we? Thank god you’re back. How have you been? How did you manage to get out? When did you get back?”

“Let’s see,” Bonnie replied, checking the questions on her fingers. “I’ve been mostly okay, occasional suicidal flirtations aside. I got out by sucking the magic out of an ancient headstone, just like Damon suggested. And I got back last night.”

“I can’t believe it.” Elena hugged Bonnie again, still feeling like this was all a dream. “Tell me everything!”

“There’s really not much to tell. If you relive the same day over and over again, there’s a certain lack of variety. Nothing to write in your diary about. Damon probably told you the most of it.”

“He did. He said it was so boring, he was, on occasion, driven to talking to you. That’s Damon speak for ‘I may kind of like you’, by the way.”

Bonnie laughed, not bothered at all by Damon’s phrasing. “Yeah, I know. We did talk a lot. We fought a lot too. But making him talk about you usually worked in calming him down.”

“I know. He told me.”

“He loves you, Elena. I don’t think I realized before just how much. I mean, we all assumed at some point that he just wanted you because he couldn’t have you or because you were his brother’s girlfriend and he wanted to annoy Stefan. I’m so sorry, Elena. Even when I knew I could trust him to keep you safe, I don’t think I trusted his feelings. Maybe I thought he liked you because you look like Katherine. But I was so wrong. He loves you for you. I could see that every day we spent together. He really, really loves you. In a ‘forever and always’ kind of way.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to get that,” Elena replied. “I love him too. More than I thought was possible. More than I have before, I think.”

“You think?”

“I don’t remember what it felt like before. I just know what it feels like now. And it’s… Bonnie, it’s… it’s huge and it’s real and if that’s how she, I mean the old me felt, then I think I understand why she did what she did. Bonnie, I cannot imagine a world without him. I’d die.” She said it plainly, shrugging at the simple truth of it.

“I’m not saying I know what that feels like,” Bonnie said. “But I hear what you’re saying and I believe you. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through, all by yourself. I wish I could have been there for you.”

“I’m so glad you made it back. Damon kept telling me you’d find a way, but—”

“But what?” Bonnie asked.

Elena shrugged, a little embarrassed. “In the beginning, I thought he was just pretending to care to win me back. Sorry.”

Bonnie waved her concerns away. “Before I got to know him, I probably would have believed the same.”

“I think this was part of what made me fall for him again. He fought so hard to get you back. He sacrificed his relationship with Ric to find you. Compelled him, lied to him, made him steal from his girlfriend.”

“Can’t say I approve of the tactics or condone the immorality of it, but I am happy about the results,” Bonnie said.

“That’s pretty much Damon in a nutshell,” Elena replied with a laugh.

Bonnie nodded. “Yeah.” She took Elena’s hand and said, “I’m glad you found your way back to each other again.”

“We always seem to, don’t we? Gravitate towards each other, no matter the circumstances. Even despite everyone telling me that we’re wrong for each other, that we’d never work, that it’s not real.”

“Just for the record,” Bonnie said, “you’ll never hear me say that again.”

“Thank you,” Elena replied. “I’ve been telling you, once you get to know the real Damon, you’ll understand. Apparently, it only takes 4 months in a prison world for you to change your mind.”

“Yeah, okay, getting to see a different side of him probably helped. But I believe I would have arrived at the same conclusion had I not spent the time in 1994 with him.”

“How?” Elena asked with a frown.

“Because you’re in love with him,” Bonnie said. Elena shrugged, still not understanding. Bonnie explained, “Don’t you realize: That’s twice now that you’ve fallen in love with Damon Salvatore.”

“Yeah,” Elena breathed and smiled softly. “I guess you’re right. Oh, please don’t tell Damon. Can you imagine the smug look on his face?”

“Are you kidding? I’m not going to tell him. His ego already barely fits through the door.”

Bonnie and Elena laughed and it was almost like the last not-quite-year didn’t happen.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really an important info or anything, but the flashback in this chapter was the first scene I wrote for this story.  
> Also, this chapter contains smut.

“Are you ready to head back?” Damon asked, meeting Elena’s eyes in the mirror as he shaved.

She was applying make-up and looked up to smile at him. “Yeah, I think I packed everything I need to.”

“Not what I meant.”

Elena paused and leaned over to kiss a part of his cheek that was already shaven clean. She still managed to get a smear of shaving cream on her. Damon wiped it off with his thumb.

“I’m happy I’m starting to remember. And I loved spending all that time with you, these last few months. But I actually am looking forward to going back and restarting classes for real. I’ve been half-assing them all semester and I need to pick up the slack.”

Damon mh-mm’d her explanations, pouty and grumbling and Elena tried very hard not to find him adorable.

“I want to try being normal again. With Bonnie back, it can finally be what we always dreamed college would be like. Also, I need to be close to Caroline, if we ever stand a chance of getting her to turn her switch back on.”

“What if you remember something you don’t like?”

“Then I’ll call my boyfriend,” she replied and smiled sweetly at him. “That’s you, by the way, in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t. But thanks for the clarification.”

“Are you being insecure?”

“What?! No!” He grimaced and amended, “Maybe a little.”

“Why?”

“Feels like I just got you back and now you’re leaving again.”

“Going back to college, not _leaving_. And definitely not leaving _you_.”

Damon grabbed her around the middle and pulled her towards his body. He kissed her thoroughly and Elena allowed it for a few seconds but when he moved to kiss her neck, she pulled back, laughing. “You’re getting shaving foam all over me.”

“I know,” he replied smugly. “Wanna go wash it off?” Damon grinned salaciously and motioned towards the tub.

Elena, though sorely tempted, laughed it off and was about to respond when she was hit with a flash of a memory as clear as if it was happening in real time.

***

_Damon brought the bottle of champagne to Elena’s lips and let her take a big sip before emptying the last drags into his own mouth and lowering the now empty bottle to the floor. Elena licked the drops from her lips and reclined further into Damon’s chest, pulling his arms around herself and shoveling more foam bubbles around them both._

_“Thank you,” she said._

_“What for?” Damon asked, his fingers slowly painting aimless paths through the soap bubbles on her skin._

_“For today. For the summer. It’s been perfect.”_

_“Can’t send you off to college without a suitcase full of memories now, can I?” he playfully asked._

_“I think there’s room in there for a few more,” she smirked._

_Damon smiled against her shoulder and moved to bite gently on her earlobe. At the same time his hand slid slowly further down below the water surface. His fingers stroked between her breasts, down across her stomach and circled her bellybutton while his lips mapped the delicious expanse of her neck, his tongue sneaking out occasionally for a taste. A pleasant shower ran down Elena’s spine and she arched slightly, mouth opening in a silent gasp. Her arm rose and she tangled her fingers in his dark hair, encouraging his ministrations, scratching gently across his scalp which made Damon release a low growl in response and bite down on the spot where neck met shoulder._

_His fingers, which had been listlessly stroking along her lower abdomen wandered lower, tangling briefly in the soft curls and further down until his middle finger slipped between her folds, moving gently through her slick wetness._

_Elena couldn’t hold back a moan and lifted her pelvis a little to feel him closer to her center. Damon’s other arm tightened his hold around her middle, pressing her firmly to his own body, not allowing her much room for movement. Showing mercy though, his finger moved gently between her folds, eliciting more of the breathless sounds that Elena didn’t bother very hard to hold back. A second finger joined in the ministrations and focusing on the bundle of nerves of her clitoris while the middle finger dipped into her tunnel._

_“Damon!” Elena gasped on an exhale. Her body felt hot – a heat that had nothing to do with the water but was radiating from inside her through her skin. She tightened the grip in his hair and used it to pull his mouth to her lips. They kissed frantically despite the awkward angle._

_“Damon,” she moaned into his open mouth, breathing the same air. “I want you.”_

_“Mmmh,” he responded, nuzzling to the corner of her jaw and kissing the spot next to her jugular where she was particularly sensitive. “’m right here.” As if to emphasize the point, he stopped playing with her clitoris and sank both fingers into her, as deep as their position would allow._

_Elena bit her lower lip on a loud moan. “No,” she whispered after she was able to take a breath. “Inside me,” she specified. “I want you inside me.”_

_The bastard had the nerve to chuckle. “I thought I was,” he said and pumped his fingers in and out a few times to demonstrate._

_She threw her head back against his shoulder in response which he took as an invitation to lave her neck with tiny kisses again._

_It took Elena a couple of moments to find her breath for a reply as he expertly manipulated all her sensitive spots with tongue, teeth, lips, and fingers, making her body feel like a live wire. “Stop being an ass,” she breathed. “You know what I mean.”_

_“I know,” he admitted. “Tub’s not big enough.”_

_He watched her eyes slide over to the bed in the master bedroom but before she could suggest they move the show over there, he interjected, “Besides – I love you like this. Soapy, wet, and completely at my mercy.”_

_She rolled her eyes, or at least tried to but at that exact moment Damon pushed with the heel of his hand against her mound making her eyes roll into the back of her head. Capitulating, she relaxed completely into his hold. Damon pulled his fingers out of her and, while still holding her securely around her middle, used the hand to turn her face to him. Before she could protest the sudden emptiness, he ravished her mouth, swallowing her moans and exploring the hotness of her mouth with his tongue._

_As his mouth released hers, she bit down on his lower lip. “Damon,” she pleaded and it was enough to bring him to his proverbial knees. He had no defenses against her when her voice sounded like this – full of need, raspy, and so completely wanton._

_His hand slid along her neck and across her chest, palmed her breast. He stretched around her shoulder to press a hot kiss to the darkened nipple and felt Elena press a kiss into his hair as he did. His palm continued to travel down, unerringly finding her hot and slick core again. He rolled her peaked nub between two digits, dipped gently deeper before pulling back again and concentrating once more on the bundle of nerves at her center._

_Elena was beyond words now, the only sounds coming from her were throaty moans which she tried to stifle by biting down on her fist. Because of his hold on her she couldn’t really aid him in his machinations, but she did open herself more for him by lifting one leg up and over his knee, letting it dangle over the edge of the bathtub._

_Damon pushed his face against her neck, breathing heavily against her wet skin as his fingers continued their onslaught. He was drawing circles around her clit, feeling the nub grow and swell under his pad. The arm around Elena’s middle came up to cup one of her breasts and her hand joined his, their fingers tangling around her breast._

_When her muscles began to convulse announcing her impending crash, Damon pinched her clitoris between two fingers to push her over the edge, immediately following up with gentler strokes. Elena released a sharp cry, her body going completely rigid for a second before helplessly collapsing into Damon’s arms, wave over wave crashing over her._

_Damon pressed his lips to her wet temple and breathed, trying to calm his fluttering heart. His hands moved gently along her body, stroking, cupping suds over exposed skin, smoothing back her still mostly dry hair. He reached and pulled her leg that was still draped across the bathtub ledge back into the warm water. He kissed down her neck, biting down gently, nuzzling behind her ear._

_Eventually she began to stir again. Elena rolled her head to stare up at Damon’s profile. She cupped his cheek and pushed herself up a little to place a sweet kiss to his lips. They both smiled into the kiss._

_“Bed?” she asked._

_Damon smiled softly and, pecking her lips again, pushed up to lift himself out of the tub. “Why don’t you finish your bath,” he whispered, “while I shave?”_

_“Mmkay,” she agreed, gazing at him appreciatively as he slung a towel across his hips and moved over to the sink and mirror. She reclined back in the tub, feeling deliciously sated and continued to watch him. He met her eyes in the mirror and smirked. She smiled back._

_Her eyes fell on her phone, blinking with a new message. She reached for it and opened it to an email from Bonnie._

***

“Where did you go?” Damon asked as she resurfaced, taking a moment to make sure the memory was back and hers to keep. But it felt solid, complete with context and a wave of affection for the man looking at her now, concern in his eyes.

“Just… remembering something.”

“Anything good?”

“Oh, yeah,” Elena said, grinning lasciviously.

Damon lifted an eyebrow. “What kind of good?”

“Mmh. The best kind.”

“I’ll say,” Damon replied, looking her over from head to toe and back. “You look… Well—” he didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. A look in the mirror revealed what he was seeing. She looked like she’d just had one mind-numbing orgasm which wasn’t really that far off the mark. “What did you remember?” he asked.

She wet and bit her lower lip, inevitably drawing his eyes to the motion. “A very relaxing bath, right before I left for college the first time.”

Damon paused for a moment, recalling the day himself, and smiled. “Ahh.”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “You wouldn’t mind if I return the favor, would you?” Without waiting for a reply, she pushed him back until his back hit the sink counter. Her fingers slid from his chest down to his abdomen, hooked into the towel and, with a wicked smile on her face, she pulled the knot free. She pressed a brief but dirty kiss to his lips before sinking down to her knees. Damon gulped in a breath, grabbed the edge of the sink for support and closed his eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone ask for more smut? Here you go.

“Damon?”

“Mhh?” he replied distractedly, nose stuck in a book that apparently took up all of his attention.

They were enjoying having the house to themselves for the evening. Elena was studying the Whitmore college brochure for summer classes, or at least she had been before she had interrupted the silence.

“Why is bloodsharing so personal?”

Apparently, it was enough to command Damon’s attention because he snapped his book shut and focused his laser gaze on her.

“What the heck are you reading there?” he replied instead of an answer.

“What?” Then glanced down at the papers in her hand. “That’s the syllabus for next semester and the summer school program,” she answered, confused about what her reading material had to do with anything. Then, understanding, “No. This—” She dropped the flyer. “I just… remembered something.”

“Tell me.”

“I couldn’t feed when I became a vampire.”

“Yeah, that was sort of my fault, sorry,” Damon said. “You were sired to me and I made it more difficult for you than it needed to be.”

“It’s okay,” Elena said. “You didn’t know.” Elena took Damon’s book and put it on the floor. She leaned back on the couch and pulled Damon with her and on top of her. She smoothed the worry lines from his forehead and pressed her lips there. One of his hands came up to comb through her hair as they looked at each other.

“I’ve been a vampire a few years now and nobody, aside from you, has ever mentioned bloodsharing to me.”

“Not even Stefan?”

“No, he never said anything. But we weren’t in a good place then.”

“Huh.” Damon’s surprise showed on his face. “I don’t think he ever forgave me for giving you my blood. I thought for sure…”

“What?” Elena asked.

Damon shrugged with one shoulder, fingers still tangled in Elena’s hair, thumbs smoothing over her forehead. “That he’d jump at the first chance he got to replace my blood with his?” Damon couldn’t help that it came out as a question.

“Maybe he would have,” Elena replied. “But we never did go back to this level of… intimacy… after I turned.”

Damon pulled back a little, gaping at her with suspicion in his eyes. “Is this your way of telling me that you and Stefan never had sex after you became a vampire?”

“Puking blood in the middle of a make-out session does not exactly lend itself to romance.”

“Please don’t talk about making out with my brother while every inch of me is pressed against every inch of you.”

“You’re the one who brought up Stefan. I just wanted to know why bloodsharing among vampires is such a taboo.”

“It’s not a taboo,” Damon contradicted. “It’s just—”

“Personal?”

Damon grinned. “Yeah. In the sense that I’d probably put a stake through anyone’s heart who dares doing that to my girl.”

“We’ll talk about your macho territorial attitude in a second,” Elena commented his last statement with a roll of her eyes. “What exactly does bloodsharing do?” she asked, adamant about finally getting her answer.

Damon contemplated how best to explain while adjusting his position on top of Elena to a more comfortable one. “Do you remember drinking my blood back at the Grill?” he finally asked.

Elena thought for a moment. “Yes.”

“And do you remember how it made you feel?”

Elena recalled the situation and blushed. Damon shifted his weight onto one bent elbow and with his now freed hand took hold of her chin. “You wanted me,” he said; a statement, not a question.

“Yes.” She looked him squarely in the eyes, not hiding anything. “But, from what I remember, I wanted you pretty much all the time back then.”

Damon had to lean down then and kiss her, deep, dirty, and full of passion.

“So that’s what it does?” Elena asked when they broke away. “It makes you desire the other person?”

“Yes and no.” Damon stroked a single finger down Elena’s throat and sternum where it was halted by the neckline of her shirt. His eyes were following his finger intently, forever mesmerized by Elena’s response to his touch. “It depends on the connection and the situation, of course. But if you’re open to it,” his finger hooked into the shirt and pulled the material down slightly, eyes following. Elena grabbed his face and directed it upwards. He met her eyes and smirked. “If you’re open to it,” he repeated, “It will create a… link. It works like a mirror. Everything I feel you feel and vice versa. Like continually repeating echoes, amplifying each other. It can be… intense.”

“Have we…” Elena hesitantly asked. “I mean, …before?”

Damon held her gaze before answering, “Yes.”

“I don’t remember,” she whispered.

“I don’t care,” he whispered back. His finger returned to stroking a line across her neck, from the dip at her throat to behind her ear, back and forth. Her flesh was erupting in goosebumps where he touched her and his eyes were glued to the spot. Damon leaned down to follow the path with his tongue. Elena moaned and rolled her head to the side in silent encouragement.

Damon pulled back a little and blew across the spot he had been laving with his tongue. Elena shivered and buried her fingers in his hair, pulling his head back. Their eyes met again and held for a long time. Then Elena’s hands slipped down his back and pulled his shirt up; a few of the buttons on the bottom snapped off, but Damon didn’t care. With her help, he got rid of the shirt quickly. Elena lifted up a little so Damon could pull hers up and over her head as well. They returned to their former position, Elena now drawing shapes into his chest with her fingers and Damon skimming the pads of his fingers along the edge of Elena’s lacy bra.

“Do you want to?” she asked, not looking at him.

“Elena,” he breathed, desperately.

“Because I do,” she said. She looked at him then and Damon’s heart rate surged. He swooped down to capture her lips in a bruising kiss which Elena returned with the same fervor. She scooted a little underneath him until she was able to wrap her legs around his hips, holding him close.

Damon’s mouth moved to her throat and would have moved further down if Elena hadn’t stopped him by holding his head and pressing it against her pulse point in a silent demand. Damon took a deep breath and let her scent push him over the edge, allowing his fangs to descend. He kissed the spot once and ever so gently broke her skin, taking a long pull. Elena’s eyes rolled back in her head, the hold on his hair tightening. She felt him growing hard against her. The increasing suction on her neck made heat pool low in her belly and want surge to her nether regions like there was a direct line between the two. She didn’t want Damon to stop. Turning her head to the side again, her lips came in contact with his wrist. She grabbed it and, following her animalistic instinct, sank her fangs into the skin there.

For a fraction of a second she had time to wonder how different drinking a vampire’s blood was from a human’s. The skin struggled to close the wound and the blood was thicker, making it harder to pull to the surface. But then instinct took over completely and her thinking mind disengaged. Elena bit down harder which made Damon let go of her neck and release a deep growl. Elena was about to apologize for hurting him but then he thrust against her and even through both their layers of clothing she could feel his desire.

She hungrily drank his blood, mind clouding over in a lustful haze with every sip. Damon’s head sank down again. She felt his fangs pierce her flesh once more but, in her mind, it was like he was pushing inside her. There was barely space between them left, but she still pressed her hips tighter to his as he continued thrusting against her. She was already wet but every gulp of Damon’s made her squirt even more. Damon’s turned on noises were sinful; they were making her head spin. She was so close to coming.

They both ripped away from each other at the same time. Staring in each other’s eyes for a moment they met in the middle, mouths colliding violently while hands feverishly worked on opening zippers and removing pants. They only got them halfway down; Damon ripped away her underwear – the panties were soaked through anyway and probably ruined – and sank into her willing body in one single thrust.

Elena reared up as he started moving within her. She understood now what he’d meant when he called it a mirror link. Her senses were flooded with both sensations – being filled and pushing into tight heat. Like a tune that started deep within her, was then picked up and amplified by his, growing louder, mind disengaging, pure wanton lust taking over everything; and on and on they kept rapidly climbing. Elena thought she would lose her mind. A window had opened and she had unrestricted access to all his feelings: all the ways in which he adored her, all the things he would willingly do or give for her, his total devotion to her, his want – even as he had her, he wanted more of her; and above all his unconditional love. She felt humbled by its intensity and desperate to show him that it was reciprocated. She pushed with her body and her mind, trying to claw her way inside him, willing him to understand that she felt every bit the same about him.

By the way he clutched her tighter and groaned, sounding absolutely wrecked, she thought he understood. His thrusts didn’t so much speed up as they just grew deeper and she felt as if he was pushing against her very soul. Everything went hot, impossibly bright, and every sound was drowned out by the rushing of blood in her ears. The last thing she actively registered before giving into the maelstrom of sensation was his face – a look of pure awe as he stared at her; he looked wild, dangerous, and _hers_.

***

_Elena was on her back, staring up the ceiling. The world slowly began making sense again, but she was still dazed after the mind-blowing experience. She rolled her head towards where she assumed Damon to be, but her vision was still not fully back yet. She said, only half-joking, “You went through this more than once and you survived?”_

_Somewhere beside her Damon laughed, sounding as exhausted as she felt, “I think the fact that I’m madly in love with you added to the experience. It was never like this before.”_

_Elena didn’t even try to pretend that it didn’t please her to hear it. She had been a little bit jealous when Damon admitted that he had bloodshared with other women in the past. “I must say I am surprised and impressed that Stefan didn’t kill you.”_

_She felt a rustle of sheets as Damon moved. She opened one eye to look at him and saw him perched on one elbow, staring accusingly at her. “You’re thinking about Stefan while you’re naked and in bed with me. Who – surprise – is also naked. And after what we just shared, too!”_

_She smiled at his mock outrage. “Stop acting jealous.” She reached blindly for his hand. He took it and she entwined their fingers together. “Honestly, you bloodshared with his girlfriend. I’m not sure I would have let you live if the roles were reversed.”_

_“I never said I didn’t deserve the punch,” Damon mumbled, remembering Stefan knocking him out, outraged over what Damon had done. Maybe he_ was _lucky to still be alive._

***

“I think I’ve gained a new appreciation for Stefan and his impulse control,” Elena said. It was the first any of them had spoken after coming down from what had felt to Elena like a complete mindmelt.

Damon laughed. “You said that after the first time too.”

***

Elena woke up ravenous the next morning, and alone. She grabbed the first thing she could easily throw on which turned out to be Damon’s black button down and went downstairs in search of food and her boyfriend. She stopped halfway down the stairs and smiled. Damon, carrying a tray fully loaded with all kinds of breakfast goodness, was glaring up at her.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“This was going to be breakfast in bed. But since you’re already up, this is just breakfast.”

Elena met him at the foot of the stairs and tore off a piece of waffle, dipping it in whipped cream before putting it in her mouth. “Mmh,” she said, eyes closing, “Perfect.”

“Just what I was thinking,” Damon muttered. His eyes roamed her body, the long legs, the tease of black underwear peeking through where the last few buttons were missing on the shirt, the look of complete bliss on her face.

Elena passed around him on her way to the kitchen. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

“I am too,” Damon agreed as he followed her. “But what I want isn’t usually found in a fridge.”

Elena laughed. “I meant let’s eat.”

“Can I eat you?”

She turned around and threw a strawberry at him. Despite balancing the tray on one hand, he caught it and popped it into his mouth.

They ate and drank in the kitchen, mostly in silence, occasionally sharing bits of food with a smile and a kiss. Eventually, Elena rose to get a fresh cup of coffee. Damon watched her move about the kitchen, reach for the little marshmallows from one of the higher cabinets. He couldn’t stop staring. She was so unbearably sexy.

“Stop,” she said, her back turned to him.

“I’m not doing anything,” Damon answered.

She turned around and leaned against the counter, the fresh cup of coffee cradled in both hands. She took a sip and smiled at him. “You’re staring at me.”

“I like looking at you. You’re beautiful.”

Elena bit down on her smile and sat down next to him, straddling the bench, her knees touching Damon’s thigh.

She was just about to say something when Stefan came in.

“Good morning,” Stefan said, bleary-eyed, and beelined for the coffee maker.

Damon greeted him back, but he was distracted by Elena’s reaction. Her body had stiffened when Stefan came in and she was avoiding looking at him, instead concentrating intensely on the breakfast before her while at the same time discreetly trying to pull the hem of Damon’s shirt lower, to cover herself.

“Can I finish this?” Stefan asked, holding up the coffee pot.

“Sure, go ahead,” Damon replied, all his focus on Elena. He was trying to catch her eye, but she was avoiding his stare.

Stefan continued to make small talk while he finished his coffee and it was up to Damon to hold up this side of the conversation. Eventually, Stefan excused himself and left, leaving Damon to stare at Elena. He tilted his head and waited for her to say something.

She glanced at him briefly and smiled a quick smile.

“What was that?” Damon asked.

“What was what?” Elena parroted back and got up, busily cleaning the table.

She was about to step away but Damon grabbed her wrist and pulled her down again. “What’s with the weird tension? What’s happening?” he asked.

Elena scrunched up her face, shook her head. “Nothing’s happening.”

Damon wanted desperately to believe her, but old doubts and insecurities were rearing their head and he hated himself for it, but had to ask, “Is there something going on I need to know about?”

Elena looked at him with genuine confusion. “What?”

“Is something going on between the two of you?”

Elena stared at him with such incredulity on her face, he thought her eyes would pop out. “Are you actually implying what I think you’re implying?”

“I don’t know,” Damon groaned out, frustrated. “What am I supposed to think? One minute all is good, we’re joking, having fun, enjoying the morning. Stefan comes in and bam! Awkward.”

“Because I don’t know how to act around him,” Elena exclaimed while trying to keep her voice low so Stefan wouldn’t hear them.

Now it was Damon’s turn to not understand. “What? That doesn’t make any sense. Why?”

Elena wrung her hands, then made herself visibly stop. She took Damon’s hand and asked, “How did old me do it? The whole ‘the love of my life is my ex-boyfriend’s brother’ thing?”

Damon’s mouth opened and closed, no words coming out. He looked at her for a long time, then took her face in his hands, kissed her once and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said.

She pulled back. “I feel like I should be offended. But it’s nice for a change to not always be the one who doesn’t get the full picture.”

“I really am sorry,” he said again. “Almost 150 years of rivalry are not easy to cast aside.”

“Is that all there is?” Elena wondered aloud.

“Is this you being insecure again?” Damon asked, trying to lighten the mood and not succeeding.

“What if it is?” Elena said.

“Weren’t you the one who said that we should leave the past in the past?”

“That was when I assumed that it would stay there,” Elena replied. “Humor me.”

“Okay. What exactly is it you’re asking?”

“I’m not even sure,” Elena said. “It just sounds a lot like you don’t trust me. And since I have no frame of reference, I’m wondering – is this a new thing?”

“No, it’s not a ‘new’ thing.” Damon sounded annoyed.

“So you’ve always felt like you couldn’t trust me around Stefan?” Elena shot back.

“Ugh, woman,” Damon growled out his frustration. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?”

“I mean, that there is no ‘new’ thing because there is no _thing_. I do trust you. And I said I’m sorry, didn’t I?”

“What are you sorry for then?” Elena asked.

Damon’s shoulders sagged and he let his head hang. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

Elena sent him a look that said, ‘How long have you known me?’ and said, “Damon, I love you.”

“I know,” he replied.

“No, you don’t understand. I _love_ you, in a way that I have no control over. And it’s real, and huge, and all-encompassing. The kind of love that you can’t walk away from.” Something inside her rang with recognition as she spoke the words.

“Except you did,” Damon mumbled.

Elena sighed. “Damon, I said I’m sorry. How many more times do I have to apologize for compelling my memories away?”

He shook his head. “Not what I meant.”

“Then what did you—”

Damon interrupted, “You know what? You were right. We should stop living in the past.”

God, it sucked when he referenced something that she didn’t remember and then refused to tell her. “Damon, when did I ever…?” Elena stopped herself as realization dawned. “Is this about the time I became a vampire? It is, isn’t it?” she added as she saw Damon’s reaction. She thought back, searching her spotty memory for any kind of clue and praying hard to remember the part Damon was referring to.

She thought back further, could remember turning, could remember craving the safety of Stefan right after, because ever since she’d met him that was what he had represented to her above all – safety. And Damon… Damon had not been a part of it, a minor character at best, a voice in her head said – a voice that sounded wrong and suspiciously like Alaric’s. Which could only mean that this was also a part of her memories that had been altered. She concentrated with all her might on Damon. As if finally pushing a key that fit into a lock, something clicked in her brain and unlocked a door.

She could still remember Stefan exactly as before – a personification of a safe haven. But as her memories shifted to reveal the truth, she could finally see Damon… How he was not a side character at all. She could see his impact. How he had changed her thinking. Even back than Damon had been a well of infinite possibilities, a calling for something _more,_ and a challenge. And she didn’t have the courage to take the plunge. She closed her eyes as understanding finally dawned.

Elena looked down where she still held Damon’s hands in hers. She pulled gently to get his attention. He looked up at her, face carefully devoid of any emotion.

“I chose Stefan, didn’t I?” she said. “We all thought you were both going to die and I asked Matt to drive me back to Stefan.”

Damon shrugged one-shouldered, like he didn’t care for at all but Elena knew that it still ate away at him. She needed to make him understand.

“Do you remember the night at the motel in Denver?” she asked rhetorically because of course he did.

“The better question is: Do you?” Damon asked back, with a bit of a bite.

“I do, actually,” Elena replied. “That was when I got a taste of what being with you would feel like. God, Damon, do you have any idea how much it scared me? I had never felt anything like that. I had never wanted anything as much as I wanted you that night. I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs, it felt like I was breathing fire, because all I could feel was how much I wanted you. It felt like there was lava running through my veins; like I’d burn if I didn’t touch you, kiss you. And when I did kiss you? I felt like I was going under. I could feel how inevitable this thing between us was; it was bigger than me, more powerful than anything I’ve ever known, more real. It was intense. And it scared me. It scared me to death.

“You’ve no idea what it feels like to love you. It’s like my soul is on fire and I knew it would burn and consume me. I didn’t know how to love you without losing myself. I wasn’t ready for it. Stefan’s love was safe and familiar. I was eighteen, and I was scared. I chose the safe option.”

Elena continued to gaze calmly into his eyes, willing him to see the truth behind them. “I would choose differently now.” A surge of love rolled through Elena, so deep and intense, it threatened to pull her under. Of course, she’d choose Damon. Again and again.

Damon stared back at her for a full minute, letting her words sink in, allowing them to erase the last shreds of doubts from his mind. Vampire-quick he grabbed her by the midriff and lifted her onto the table in front of him. Parting the shirt tails where the buttons were missing, he leaned in to kiss her stomach and pushed the fabric up to reveal her breasts.

“Damon!” Elena laughed and pulled him up by his hair. “Not here. What if somebody walks in?”

“Let them. They can learn a thing or two.”

Elena jumped down from the table, adjusted the shirt to cover herself and pulled Damon up with her. “Come on,” she said.

Damon allowed her to pull him up and kissed her as soon as they were level. He kissed her slow but intimate, all soft lips and warm hands that were gently pressing her body into his.

“We’re good?” she asked when he finally pulled away.

“We’re better than good,” Damon confirmed.


	14. Chapter 14

Because the door was never locked, Elena strode right into the Salvatore Boarding house in search of Damon. She hadn’t meant to come back here so soon, but living with an emotionless Caroline was proving more difficult than she had anticipated. They needed to come up with a plan to get Caroline back and that’s why Elena was back in Mystic Falls.

She was about to call out for Damon, but then she heard sounds coming from the kitchen and headed there. Turning the corner, she saw Stefan at the table fighting with a metal contraption she couldn’t identify. Elena’s first impulse was to turn around and silently disappear upstairs. She was halted mid-pivot by Stefan’s voice.

“Hey,” he called out a greeting. “You here to see Damon?”

She pulled a grimace before facing Stefan. “Yeah. You know if he’s upstairs?”

“He said he had some errands to run. I’m not sure he’s back yet,” Stefan answered.

“Oh, okay,” Elena drawled and chewed the corner of her mouth. “I… I’m gonna… go wait for him up—”

“What’s wrong with you?” Stefan interrupted.

“What do you mean?”

Stefan waved with his hand, motioning towards her. “You’re being all… weird. You’ve been avoiding being alone with me for weeks.”

“Have not,” Elena replied automatically, but knowing that he was right.

“You used to talk to me,” Stefan reminded her. “Now we barely talk anymore.”

Elena was about to protest some more but then visibly wilted. Her shoulders slumped and she let herself sink gracelessly onto the bench. “I am being weird, aren’t I?” she asked. “I’m sorry.”

Stefan abandoned his project – whatever that was – and sat across from her. “What are you sorry for?”

“For being weird. You’re right; I have been avoiding you. I just… I don’t know how to act around you anymore.”

“What do you mean, ‘anymore’? What’s different now?”

Elena cringed. “I’m dating Damon.”

“Yes?” Stefan begged her to continue.

“Who’s your brother,” Elena said with a meaningful eyebrow raise.

Stefan shook his head, not understanding.

“Isn’t this weird for you?” she asked. “That I’m with your brother?”

“Elena, you’ve been with Damon for over two years now, not counting a few hiccups. That’s longer than you and I were together.”

“I know. But when I had my memory of Damon erased, it conveniently also erased my memory of how to be around you. How did we… stay friends… after? It’s obvious we did, I just don’t know how.”

“I’m not saying that it was easy for me seeing you with him, knowing that you moved on. It hurt. Especially in the beginning. Sometimes it still does. For the longest time, the only way I was able to bear the thought of the two of you together, was to tell myself that it was because you changed. You were only with him because you were different, because you were no longer the same Elena.”

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” Elena muttered.

“Except I don’t think that’s the whole truth. Not anymore.”

“Why?”

“Yes, you are different with him. But he’s different with you too. You both change each other. You both are _more_ when you are together. He makes you strong and you make him human. You complete each other – far better than you and I did. And I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t hurt because it does. But that’s okay.”

“I hate knowing that me being with Damon is hurting you. And I don’t want to rub your nose in it. That’s why I get so awkward every time you’re around.”

“Would you prefer I leave?” Stefan asked, all serious.

“No, Stefan,” Elena said, “I don’t want you to leave. I want to be friends with you. But not if it’s hurting you.”

“Elena, I love you. I will always love you. And being your friend is not a consolation prize. So stop with the guilt trip.”

“But doesn’t it bother you that I’ve basically become Katherine? Not willing to let go of either brother.”

“Is this your way of telling me that you want me to be more than your friend?” Stefan asked with a teasing smile.

“What? No! I love—”

“—Damon,” he finished for her.

Elena nodded.

“That’s why you’re not Katherine, Elena. You will never be Katherine. And you don’t have to walk on eggshells around me.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

“Good. And if you ever need someone to bitch about Damon being his usual stupid self, you know where to find me. I’ll gladly kick his ass for you.”

Elena laughed. “Got it.”

Stefan nodded and Elena stood up to leave. She felt much better now that she’d talked to him.

“Elena?” Stefan called out before she disappeared. “You may not know it, but you gave me my brother back. After 148 years of rivalry, and pain, and suffering, I have my brother back again. Don’t ever feel guilty for loving him, okay?”

Elena nodded, then came over and hugged Stefan tightly.

When she pulled back, an idea came to her. “Stefan?” she said. “About Caroline…”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter. I spent all day deleting and rewriting chunks of it and I'm still not happy with it. But I wanted to give you all an update and honestly, I don't think it's gonna get any better. So, here it is.

It still threw Elena for a loop every once in a while how quickly she had jumped into a relationship with Damon again. One day, she was jumping out of windows to avoid talking to him, next thing she knew she was filled with a weird kind of panic she couldn’t control whenever she wasn’t near him. And then she frequently had to remind herself that this wasn’t a new relationship. Strictly speaking, she’d been with Damon for over two years.

Elena shook her head at her own thoughts. Was she being crazy? What was she doing here in the Salvatore Mansion? She should be at Whitmore right now, she berated herself. She had an important test coming up that she needed to study for – had made plans to study for with a study group, actually. But it had been two weeks since she’d seen him last and the truth was, she was missing Damon something fierce.

He was being the perfect boyfriend: giving her space, encouraging her to go to parties, and being adamant about her having a real college experience. But Elena felt unmoored somehow. And so she let her study group know that she would miss the next session, and had called Damon earlier that night to ask if it’d be alright if she came over.

_“To Mystic Falls?” Damon had asked, surprised._

_“Mystic Falls. Your house. Yeah.” Elena had felt shy all of a sudden._

_“Absolutely. Is something wrong?”_

_Elena grimaced at the genuine concern she could hear in his voice. It hadn’t been her intention to make him worry._

_“No. Everything is okay. Really. I just… Well, I kind of,” she paused before she ploughed on, “miss you.” She chewed her lip uncertainly, waiting for his reply._

_“Yeah?” he said and she could hear his smile over the line. “I miss you too. Come on over.”_

_“Okay. Good.”_

_“Do you need me to pick you up? I could leave right now,” he suggested._

_“No, that’s okay. It’s already late and, actually, I’ve already packed a bag and am almost on my way. Just wanted to make sure I was welcome.”_

_“You’re always welcome here, Elena. You know that.”_

_Elena felt like a teenager at the sound of his voice and even though nobody was around to see her, she bit down on a smile._

_“Well,” she said. “I just wanted to make sure you’re not out or having other plans.”_

_“Nope,” he popped the P. “I’m just reading in bed.”_

_“Okay. I should be there in 2 hours, tops.”_

_“Wake me if I’m asleep when you arrive.”_

_“I will.”_

_Elena thought about adding an ‘I love you’. She’d said it before, of course. But she still wasn’t at the point where it came casually across her lips. Before she could muster the courage, Damon said, “Love you. See you in a bit.”_

_She hung up the phone with the biggest grin on her face._

***

Elena arrived at the house when Damon had just nodded off. But the sound of her coming in was enough to wake him and he watched her quietly from the bed as she got undressed, leaving her only in a tank top and a slip. He continued to watch as she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. He loved having her here, moving around the place like it was hers too because it was. Which had nothing to do with the fact that, technically, her name was still on the deed to the house. Her, feeling at home in his room, had a strangely arousing effect on Damon.

As Elena was patting her face dry, her eyes looked up and met Damon’s smoldering gaze. The air between them seemed to crackle. She walked over, pausing before the bed, then taking off her panties and climbing swiftly on top of him.

Supporting her weight with one hand, she leaned down to kiss Damon while her other hand reached behind her and into his briefs, stroking him to hardness.

Impatient, she positioned him at her entrance and slowly sank down on him. Damon groaned at the heat of her and felt himself growing firmer inside her tight channel.

Elena started to move.

Damon surged up to kiss her passionately. She allowed it for a minute, groaning at the changed angle. But after a few seconds of this, she pushed him down with both hands on his chest and continued to ride him, head thrown back, teeth biting down on her bottom lip.

Damon couldn’t help but stare at her. She was so freaking beautiful.

Elena was still wearing her tank top and there was no time to take it off, so Damon simply pushed the neckline lower to expose one of her breasts. He cupped it and circled her nipple with his thumb before pinching it slightly. Elena reared up at that, back arching, and pushed herself firmer into his palm. He continued to play with her while his other hand slipped from her hip to her womanhood. His thumb easily found Elena’s clit and rubbed it gently. It only took a minute after that until she Elena was coming, shaking on top of him.

Elena, still straddling Damon, slumped over as she calmed down. When she regained her composure, she lifted herself off of Damon and stretched out beside him on the bed, the long day quickly catching up to her. She felt her eyelids grow heavy.

Damon rolled onto his side to kiss her softly. He gently stroked her face.

He thought she was asleep when she reached for his still hard erection and slowly started pumping him.

Between broken moans, Damon managed to whisper, “Go to sleep. You’re exhausted. I can take care of this myself.”

She ignored him and continued to work him till his eyes fell shut and he could barely think straight anymore. Right before oblivion took him, he felt her mouth descend on him, her warmth taking him in and he was gone, emptying himself into her with a loud groan, Elena’s name on his lips.

She cleaned him up, snapped the elastic of his boxers back up and returned to rest on the pillow beside him.

Placing a soft kiss on his lips, she murmured good night, rolled over and closes her eyes. Damon, still dazed, threw an arm around her and pulled her back into his chest, nuzzling into her neck.

They both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

***

“It’s a dream, Elena. Wake up.”

The voice reached Elena as if through a thick fog. Her consciousness fought towards it.

“You’re okay, you’re dreaming. I’m here. Just come back to me.”

The voice came clearer now, closer. Next, she felt soft lips pressed to her temple. Opening her eyes, Elena needed a second to orient herself. She was in Damon’s bedroom, in Damon’s bed, in Damon’s arms. She took a deep breath and felt her heartrate slow down. Damon’s arms held her tightly, the fingers of one hand stroking her hair.

She lifted her head and looked at him. His eyes full of concern and pain.

She wondered how many people in this world got to see this side of him. It wasn’t all that long ago that all she saw in Damon was his cold, sarcastic, unfeeling self. It was easy to hate him when that was all she knew of him. But that was just an image, a façade. It wasn’t real. The man in her arms though – he was. And this huge and overwhelming feeling in her chest, that was real too.

Following a sudden impulse, she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to his. He smiled in response and brushed her hair away from her cheek.

Elena swallowed hard. Her eyes closed and she placed her hand on top of his, holding it there as he cupped her cheek. She knew it was just a memory, but the pain was so immediate, the emptiness so vast, she had to choke down tears.

“Elena?” she heard Damon’s concerned voice. “What is it, baby? What’s wrong?”

“Can you just hold me? It’ll be gone in a second,” she whispered, eyes squeezed shut tightly.

Damon wrapped her in his arms. “What will? The dream?”

“It’s just a memory. That’s all. Just a memory.” She wasn’t sure if she was trying to calm down Damon or herself as she mumbled into his shoulder.

“What are you remembering?” Damon asked after a while, pulling back a little and stroking her cheek. “Do you want to tell me?”

She shook her head. At first, she had thought it was just a bad dream but as she woke up from it, she realized it was a memory that had come back to her and it made it so much worse. It felt too raw still. She couldn’t talk about it, not yet at least. “Distract me?” she pleaded. “Please?”

Damon thought for a second, nothing coming to mind because his concern for Elena overshadowed his thinking.

She helped, “Tell me something funny, or embarrassing, or silly. I don’t care.”

Damon took a deep breath and then grinned as an idea popped into his head. Something lighthearted, something fun, something that would take her mind off of whatever her dream had been about. He slipped into her head and projected his memories into her mind.

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Planning world domination,” Damon replied sardonically. “What’s it look like I’m doing?”_

_“Looks like day drinking to me,” Matt answered._

_“I’m busy. Go away.”_

_“Busy day drinking?”_

_“Well,” Damon drawled, “the day is not gonna drink itself. Someone’s gotta do it.”_

_“Oookay,” Matt said, reaching to remove the bottle._

_“Hey!” Damon protested and grabbed for it, but he must have ingested more of the amber liquid than he realized because he was too slow._

_“I’m officially cutting you off.”_

_“What’s it to you?” Damon sneered, then inspiration hit and he added, perking up at the prospect, “I could kill you.”_

_“Yeah, well, to answer both: I promised Elena to keep an eye on you and I’m guessing she wouldn’t be too happy about it if you thanked her by snapping my neck. But sure, if you want to test the theory, go right ahead.”_

_Damon tried his best glare, but even that didn’t seem to sway Matt’s stance. Damon unearthed his cell phone and, hitting speed dial, held it to his ear while still maintaining eye contact with Matt. Who was not looking afraid. Like, at all. Damon grimaced in annoyance. He was losing his touch._

_“Hello?” the voice on the other end of the call answered._

_“Honey,” he sweettalked into the phone, “you wouldn’t mind if I killed our friendly neighborhood bartender, would you?”_

_“Damon,” Elena replied on a sigh, “let go of the bottle and step away from the bar. And no killing of any bartenders.”_

_Damon sulked. “Well, you’re no fun today.”_

_“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Elena asked._

_“Oh, nothing. Your brother is getting into fights at school for which he has been suspended. But don’t worry, I already compelled the teachers to reduce the sentence. I’ve got everything under control. So, anyway, how is your day going?”_

_“Suspended?! What do you mean suspended? What fights? Damon!”_

_“Elena,” Damon implored. “I said, I have it under control. Don’t you worry your beautiful head about it. Speaking of panties, you forgot yours this morning.”_

_“And that’s my cue to leave,” Matt muttered in the background, which Damon ignored._

_“Did I?” Elena breathed suggestively into his ear. “Or maybe I left them there on purpose.”_

_Damon bit his lip and closed his eyes. “Mhm? And what purpose would that be?”_

_“That’s for you to figure out, I guess.”_

_“Well, thank you, Miss Gilbert. I think my day has just taken a turn for the better.”_

_Elena laughed softly in reply._

_“I have to go,” she finally said. “Orientation class is starting.”_

_“Pfft,” Damon huffed. “Who needs to go to classes nowadays? Haven’t you heard? You can trade sexual favors for good grades now.”_

_“Is that how you got your college degree?” Elena asked. “It explains a lot, actually.”_

_“I feel like I should be offended, but I’m too buzzed to care,” Damon replied nonchalant._

_Elena chuckled, then exclaimed, “Shoot. I really gotta run. But Damon – Jeremy?”_

_Damon turned serious. “I mean it, Elena. It’s taken care of, don’t worry. I’ll tell you the whole story when I see you.”_

_“You sure?”_

_“Yes, go be brilliant, impress your professors, whatever. Also, I changed my mind – don’t sleep with them.”_

_“’kay. Bye.”_

_“Hey!” Damon called out before she could hang up._

_“What?” Elena replied._

_“Does that mean you’re not wearing any panties_ right now _?” Damon asked._

_“Bye, Damon.”_

_She hung up and Damon scowled at his phone._

***

“When was this?” Elena asked, grinning now, her bad dream almost forgotten.

“I believe this was your first week of college.”

“Why were you so grumpy that you needed a drink this early in the day?”

“I believe it was your first week of college,” Damon said again.

“Aww,” Elena coo-ed. “You were missing me.”

Damon rolled his eyes but didn’t protest.

“So, did I leave them on purpose?” Elena asked.

“You tell me,” Damon replied.

“You mean, you never found out?”

“I mean, you gave mixed signals. Probably to drive me mad. Which, by the way, you’re very good at, in case you were wondering.”

Elena smiled and held his hand in both of hers. “Can you show me more? Please?”

Damon grimaced. Elena knew he didn’t like using the mind tricks to let her see his memories. He indulged her on occasion, though very rarely. “How I remember things might not be—”

“—the way I remember them, yeah, I know. You said that already. But it still beats not remembering at all.”

Damon looked at her intently. “You really don’t remember how this continued?” he asked her.

Elena focused really hard, eyes scrunched tight, concentrating on the memory Damon had shown her and trying to see it from her point of view. But it was useless. The memories Damon showed her never managed to trigger any of her own and this time was no different either. After a few moments, she shook her head, looking sad. “Sorry,” she said.

Instead of answering, Damon laced his fingers with hers and pictures swam before her eyes again.

_Damon burst into their shared dorm room – as usual, without knocking. He took a look around and, ignoring Caroline, announced to the world, “I’m horny. Where’s my girlfriend?”_

_“Ugh,” Caroline responded to his sexist caveman demands. “You know, she doesn’t exist merely to satisfy your perverted sexual fantasies.”_

_“So, she’s not here then?” Damon asked, ignoring her otherwise and turning to leave._

_“You’re disgusting,” she called after him._

_Damon stopped and turned back around, a contemplative frown on his face. “It feels like I heard that one before,” he mumbled and was gone the next second, clearly unbothered by such blights to his character._

_Damon strolled into the quad and scanned the crowd. Elena had texted him that she was done with classes and would be heading back to her room after a stop at the library for some text books. They had a facetime date set up for the afternoon. He couldn’t have missed her._

_Just as he was about to head in the direction of the library, he got a whiff of her perfume. She saw him a second after he had made her in the crowd and walked towards him with a disbelieving smile on her face._

_“What are you doing here?” she asked, eyes wide with surprise._

_Damon reached into his pocket and let the red lace dangle from his finger. “I got your invitation.” He smirked._

_Elena gasped, realizing he was holding her undies, quickly grabbed for them and stashed them away in her sling bag before anyone could notice. “Damon!” she exclaimed, scandalous._

_“I remember them from the yes pile.” He grinned devilishly._

_“That’s not code for ‘come ravish me at your soonest convenience’, despite what you might think.”_

_“It’s not?” Damon looked confused. “But you like to match and I did not see the corresponding bra anywhere. Which means you’re probably wearing it…” He leaned in and tried to catch a glimpse inside her cleavage._

_“Stop it!” She laughed and hit him on his chest and took a look around to see if anyone was watching them._

_“Make me,” he said, doing the eyebrow thing at her and despite herself Elena had to grin._

_“You’re impossible.”_

_“I missed you,” Damon replied._

_“It’s only been a day.”_

_Damon shrugged. “I got used to having you around over the summer. You’re not as annoying as the rest of your generation.”_

_Elena shook her head. “With compliments like that it’s a wonder I managed to resist you as long as I did.”_

_“I’ve never done it in a library before,” Damon suggested with another wriggle of his eyebrows._

_“Come on,” Elena said, rolling her eyes, and started walking, taking his arm and pulling him with her._

_“But,” Damon protested, “the library’s that way.” He pointed in the opposite direction._

_“I know, babe.”_

***

The images faded slowly and Elena opened her eyes to Damon watching her.

“What was special about this memory?” she asked, wanting to know why he chose to show her this day in particular.

“Absolutely nothing,” Damon replied with a smile.

Elena nodded in understanding. “We were happy.”

“Blissfully so.”

Damon let go of her hand and instead cupped her cheek. Elena’s smile slowly slipped.

“You were gone,” she said, remembering her dream again and hoping she had the courage to talk about it now. “But I could feel you. You tucked my hair behind my ear and you held my face just like now.”

Damon grimaced as he understood. It was a memory that he himself would pay money to forget. “I did,” Damon confirmed.

Elena’s eyes opened and she stared at him. “Bonnie was right then – you were there? I didn’t just imagine it?”

“No, you didn’t imagine it. I was there.”

“Is that where I lost it?”

“Lost what?”

“My mind? My will to go on? I remember the feeling now. Losing you. It felt like… It wasn’t even a black hole or something like that. It was just… a bleak nothing. Emptiness. A scary, scary void.”

Damon stroked her face, not knowing what to say.

“I don’t remember what happened after. After you were gone,” Elena continued.

“I know you couldn’t hear me, but saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” Damon said.

Elena nodded, torn between wanting to remember more and not wanting to relive the pain. But she had no control over it. The images crowded her mind, pushing up from somewhere inside her. “I couldn’t do it. That was the worst moment of my life and I couldn’t say goodbye to you.” She blinked and breathed a little easier as the fog lifted a little and she didn’t feel like falling down the rabbit hole any longer.

She smiled sadly at a faraway memory and said, “Back when I was still living with Jenna, I wrote in my diary once that I wouldn’t be the girl whose world stops spinning because of a guy. I think it was when Stefan and I were going through a rough phase. And then I lost you. And my world stopped spinning.”

Damon wrapped both arms around her and pulled her close. “I’m sorry I broke my promise to never leave you,” he whispered into her hair.

“You also promised to always come back to me,” Elena reminded him. “You’re here now, aren’t you?” Elena pulled away to look Damon in the eyes. “If you don’t mind, I’ll consider this promise kept.”

Damon didn’t reply; he simply pulled her back into his arms and held her.

After a few moments, Elena spoke, “I don’t want to go back to sleep.”

“Then don’t.”

“Help me remember more?” she asked.

“Okay,” Damon agreed. “You can ask me whatever you want, but I’m not showing you any more of my memories.”

Elena scowled, but she had expected as much. “Deal.”

“Where do you want me to start?” Damon asked.

“Where do you think we started?” she asked and it took Damon a while to figure out what she meant.

“Opinions vary,” he finally replied. “The day you told me you loved me? The day I told you I loved you? The day we first kissed? The day we first danced together? The day I met you?” He paused before continuing, “You wanna know what I think?”

Elena nodded.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s like you said – it seems no matter who or what comes between us, we always end up together. Maybe it started before we even crossed paths. Maybe we were always meant to. Or maybe not and yet it happened. The point is where we started doesn’t matter as much as where we’re going. Why do you keep coming back to it?”

“It feels important. If I could just pinpoint it—”

“It still wouldn’t change a thing,” Damon interjected.

Elena let herself fall back on the bed. “I know. I just wish…”

“You just wish what?” Damon asked, hovering above her, perched on one elbow.

Elena thought about how to explain it best. “I feel like I’ve been dropped into the middle of the story. And if I could only know how I got here…”

“Here it is: Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Time passes, shit happens, girl falls in love with boy, the universe panics and some more shit happens but boy and girl are still in love, so take that, universe. There. Now you’re all caught up.” He grinned at her and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“How do you do that?” Elena wondered aloud, fingers playing with the short hair on his neck.

“Do what?” Damon asked quietly.

“Make my mind go quiet.”

Damon didn’t reply, instead he continued tracing the contours of her face.

“I love you,” she told him.

“I love your chin dimple.”

Elena laughed. “I don’t have a chin dimple.”

“Yes, you do. It’s right there,” he said and kissed it.

***

“Get up.”

“Huh?”

“You really don’t want to go back to sleep?”

Elena confirmed with a shake of her head.

“Then get up,” Damon repeated. “Are you hungry? Because I am.”

“Where are we going?” Elena asked as she got out of bed and threw some clothes on.

“Back when Mystic Falls was off-limits, I found this diner a few towns over. They have cheese fries to die for. Let’s go.”

***

“Oh my god,” Elena suddenly exclaimed, another memory coming back to her. She punched Damon’s arm and he stared at her wide-eyed and perplexed, not paying much attention to the road but thankfully, it was deserted. “You told me you loved me and then compelled me to forget about it.”

Damon rubbed his arm.

“How could you?! I mean, why? It wasn’t like it was a secret anyway.”

Damon glanced back at her blankly, then blinked a few times. “Ow,” he said and rubbed his arm some more.

“Why?” Elena asked, not easily deterred.

Using the excuse of needing to pay attention to where he was driving, he avoided eye contact when he answered her, “I wasn’t ready for you to know yet. You already had too much power over me. This… It felt like giving up completely who I was.”

Elena thought for a moment then laughed suddenly. “We’ve been fighting this for a long time, haven’t we? I wouldn’t admit that I had feelings for you. You were hiding it. Though, I have to tell you, you were doing a terrible job of it.”

“I wasn’t hiding it,” Damon returned, acting put-out. “I just thought that, in order to be with you, I couldn’t be who I am. I had to become someone I’m not – a better man. And I didn’t want you to change everything about me.”

“But you are different with me,” Elena replied. “And you always have been, judging by the memories I’ve managed to recover. That’s probably why nobody ever got us – because nobody saw the Damon you showed me. You have changed; even if you don’t like to admit it.”

“That’s how you know it’s love,” Damon muttered, a little absentmindedly.

“Huh?”

Damon shook his head to dispel a memory. “Something Andie used to say. Love has the power to change us.”

***

“Did I tie you up and try to kill you in my dorm room?” Elena suddenly called out after they had both been quiet for some time. She pushed a few cheesy fries in her mouth; Damon was right – they were to die for.

“Ah, yes,” Damon sighed. “Good times.”

“Why did I do that?”

“Well, the easy answer is, Silas compelled you to do it.”

“And the more detailed answer?”

“Silas had the uncanny ability to look into your mind and pinpoint exactly where you were most vulnerable. And to be fair, we made it kind of easy for him. That was back after our first summer together. We were still floating on cloud number nine. There were plenty of unresolved issues between us, so we made it easy for him to exploit those.”

“Issues like what?”

“Do you want me to go through the list alphabetically or…”

“Damon,” Elena pleaded with him not to deflect.

“Guilt, anger, trust, et cetera. Most of it was because we were still learning how to do this whole relationship thing.”

“You said we were working on it, right?”

“We were getting there, I think. But then the thing happened and I woke up in 1994.”

Elena nodded, deep in thought, trying to remember that summer. She felt a vague sense of lightheartedness which might have been a memory or an imagination – she wasn’t sure. What she didn’t remember was the anger. Couldn’t even imagine getting so angry at Damon that she’d want to kill him. Though she did see the irony in that, because only a few months ago she couldn’t imagine loving him and yet here she was.

“Thank you for talking me out of it?”

“You’re welcome,” Damon replied. “It may come as a surprise, but I’m kind of partial to staying alive, you know.”


	16. Chapter 16

“Tell me a story?” Elena asked.

“Do you have me confused with a professional storyteller?”

“Come on. I’ve been waiting for this sequel you promised.”

“I didn’t promise a sequel. I just said there’d be one.”

“Same thing. Now stop being evasive and start telling the story.”

Elena sipped on her milkshake, motioning for Damon to begin. They had left the diner a while ago and found a spot next to the water with a few picnic tables and benches. Like a bunch of teenagers, they sat on one of the tables, reclined backwards to better watch the stars.

Damon sighed. “I would. Only I don’t know how it ends yet.”

“Why not?”

“Still working out some kinks.”

“Like what?”

“Like relationships formed in high-stress situations usually don’t last.”

“Okay, first – you got that from a movie.” Damon shrugged off being busted and Elena continued, “Second – we beat the odds so far, so I’m confident. And third, realism has no place in a fairy tale.”

“I never said it was a fairy tale.”

“Well, it felt like one. It has all the makings of a fairy tale – a hero, trials and adventure, a princess. Love. All that’s missing is the ‘and they lived happily ever after’. So, get on with it.”

“You can’t rush the creative process,” Damon protested.

“Come on, give them the fairy tale ending they deserve,” she cajoled.

“Maybe that’s the problem,” Damon replied. “What you want is a love story with a happy ending. I’m better at tragedies and drama.”

Elena paused in thought, staring at Damon and studying his face intently. Eventually, she pushed up and elbowed Damon. “Make room. I’m going to tell the rest of the story now.”

“And you need to sit where I do?”

“Yes,” Elena replied. “It’s the storytelling throne.”

“Well, you can suck it. It’s my throne and my story.”

“Nope, not anymore. I’ve been listening to your story and I determined that it suffers from a serious case of existential angst and male chauvinism. You need a female protagonist. So, I’m taking over.”

She pushed on Damon’s shoulder until he was forced to slide over onto one of the benches, leaving her perched on the table. Taking a deep breath, she began, “Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a princess. She was very lucky because she had parents who loved her a lot. But she felt very lonely. Everyone treated her with a respectful distance and because she was a princess, she didn’t have any real friends. So, whenever she could, she liked to ride out into the countryside where she would pretend, at least for a while, to be one of the normal people.

“Every day she would make sure to pass by a farm where an old widower lived with his two sons. And every day without fail a handsome, dark haired young man would be working outside. He’d greet her and she would greet him back, hoping he’d speak to her and start a conversation. But even though his eyes were really, really blue and pretty and his smile was kind of hot, he didn’t seem to be a very smart specimen.”

“Hey!” Damon exclaimed and tried to pinch her.

“Why are you getting offended? This is a fictional story and any similarities to persons living or dead are purely coincidental, right?” she threw his own words back at him with a huge grin on her face.

Damon grabbed Elena’s ankle and attacked her in her most ticklish spots. She tried to fight him off but he was stronger and faster and soon they were rolling on the table in a mess of limbs.

“Okay, okay, I surrender,” Elena gasped out through peals of laughter. When Damon let off, she said, “I take it you would like to add something to _my_ story?”

“I can’t know for sure, of course, but it is possible the handsome hero was simply too intimidated by the princess’s beauty and felt himself unworthy of her to strike up a conversation. Maybe he thought she deserved someone better.”

“Well, I don’t know about the girl in _your_ story, but the girl in _mine_ knows exactly what she wants. And she definitely wants the dark, handsome, idiot brother, god help her. And since she’s a princess and this is a fairytale, the plot demands that she gets what she wants.”

Damon shook his head. “For someone who once considered writing a career choice, you lack a certain talent for storytelling.”

Pressing a hand to her hear, Elena let out a gasp, acting thoroughly offended.

“Yeah,” Damon doubled down, “just look at the mess of it. Your story is all over the place. You’re jumping ahead, leaving out key scenes. I’m afraid to tell you – but you suck at this. You should definitely stick to medicine.”

Elena laughed and snuggled closer to Damon as they both rested on their backs. “Do you think they’d be disappointed in me?” she asked, out of the blue. “My parents?”

“Because you’re a vampire or because you’re in love with one?” Damon asked.

“Because I’m going to be a doctor,” Elena clarified. “My mom always wanted me to be a writer. She got me my first diary. She encouraged me to write.”

“She wouldn’t have if she knew how much you suck at it,” Damon joked.

Elena laughed, despite herself and turned serious. “I mean it, Damon.”

Damon rolled over to take her face in his hands. “You’re the only person I know who’d ever think their parents could be disappointed because you want to be a doctor. No, Elena, I’m one hundred percent sure they could never be disappointed in you – no matter what career path you choose for yourself. I do believe however that they would have a few words to say about who you chose to spend your life with.”

“Have you ever met them?”

“No,” Damon answered. “I met Liz once, back when she’d just had Caroline.”

“Really? She never mentioned it.”

“I compelled her to forget.”

“Of course you did.” Elena shook her head at him. Coming back to her parents, she said, “I don’t know how they’d react to all this. They were raised to think all vampires were bad. But Liz was raised that way too, and she came around. I want to believe that my parents would have, too, eventually. I know one thing for sure, though.”

“Yeah? What?”

Elena smiled wistfully. “All my mom ever wanted was for Jeremy and me to be happy. She would have been okay with you and me together, once she saw how happy you make me.”

Damon leaned in for a quick kiss.

“Besides,” Elena continued with a grin, “she did have a thing for bad boys. She definitely would have understood. Actually, she would have liked you, though she probably never would’ve admitted it.”

***

When they got back to the house, the sun had started to rise. Still, they crawled back into bed to warm up. “Any news on the Caroline front?” Damon asked.

“Ugh.” Elena groaned and buried her head in Damon’s pillow. “Don’t remind me. She asked for a year and I was all for it. But I’m not sure anymore that after the year is done, she’d want to turn her emotions back on. She and Stefan are in some weird spiral to out-evil each other. Bonnie and I think an intervention is in order.”

“Yeah, I’m not a fan of emotionless Stefan either.”

“Was I that bad when I had my switch turned?” Elena asked.

“You weren’t trying to be evil. You simply didn’t care. Which was scarier on some level.”

“How so?”

“Let’s just say emotionless doesn’t go well with Elena Gilbert.”

“And here I thought you would be all for an emotionless, ruthless, guilt-free Elena.”

Damon eyed her speculatively. “I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be a joke or not,” he finally admitted.

Elena’s smile vanished and she thought about what he’d said. “I guess that’s something the Elena without memories of you would have said, huh?” Damon shrugged which she took for confirmation. “I’m sorry. I know you’re not that person anymore.”

“Honestly, I don’t know if I ever was that person. Though I had a lot of fun pretending to be, for a long time.”

“What happened? You grew tired of pretending?”

“Not really. But I met you and well… the rest is history as they say.”

“Most of which I can’t remember,” she reminded him.

“It’s not important.”

“You didn’t want to pretend with me?” Elena guessed, not willing to let it go.

“Oh, I did want to pretend, probably more than ever. Tried, too. But you wouldn’t let me. Saw right through my bullshit.” He paused for a little while before he continued, “Can you remember that time in your kitchen better now? The one when you told me you’re sorry because I lost Katherine, too?”

Elena concentrated, then nodded her head. Before, it was only a vague memory but it was much clearer now.

“That’s when I knew you were trouble. You were standing there, my brother’s girl, seventeen years old, completely unimpressed by my carefully crafted bad boy persona, and you cared, so much. For me, of all people. The guy everybody told you was bad news and warned you to stay away from.”

Elena reached for his hand and squeezed it as Damon continued, “That’s what makes you you. You care. And when that part of you was gone, it was like _you_ were gone. But you were still there. So, no, to answer your question: I did not enjoy the off-switch you.”

“Caroline has nobody left to care whether her emotions are off or not,” Elena sadly said.

“She has you. She has my brother.”

“Stefan’s not going to be any help while he’s enjoying being his ripper self.”

“Then we’ll get him back first.”

“How?” Elena asked.

“We’ll figure something out. Just please, not the Lexi method.”

***

A few weeks later found them in a B&B at the edge of town, babysitting two parched vampires – one with her emotions switched off, one who only pretended to still have his switch turned off. And of all the things they could have been doing, they were playing the ‘Five years from now’ game while the cure Bonnie had given him a few nights before was burning a hole through his pocket.

When Elena mentioned children, Damon’s gut clenched with guilt. He almost wished Bonnie hadn’t given him the cure. In the next moment he hated himself for even thinking it.

The simple truth was, Damon was scared to death to lose her. And giving her the cure meant to lose her. Maybe not immediately – Damon was long over his insecurities; he knew Elena loved him whether she was a vampire or a human. But in sixty, seventy years? He would lose her then. And he wasn’t ready for that. Because it was not even remotely long enough. He wanted her forever. And as long as they remained vampires, forever was an option. But children weren’t and Damon tried very hard to justify damning Elena to an eternal life that would always miss an integral part to her happiness.

But then Damon looked into Elena’s eyes, shining with happiness at the theoretical prospect of starting a family with him and Damon thought nothing in the world could be more important than to keep that happiness in her eyes, even if it meant living with a ticking clock.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I didn't update yesterday. I volunteered for a clinical trial for a Covid19 vaccine and after receiving the injection we had to stay in the clinic to be monitored. Unfortunately, I didn't bring my computer.
> 
> Anyway; here's the new chapter. There is a little bit of smut in it. I hope you like it. Please comment, if you do (and also if you don't). Thanks to everyone who's reading.

It had been a particularly grueling week at college – finals were drawing close and Elena had missed a lot of the semester, being so caught up in her own personal drama that she had a lot to catch up on. But thankfully the weekend had finally arrived and Elena was glad to be spending it in Mystic Falls and be able to forget her college woes for a little while. She was stretched out on the plush sofa, head cradled in Damon’s lap, feet dangling over the backrest. On the other end of the couch, Bonnie was sitting cross-legged in a heap of DVD cases, trying to decide which ones they were going to watch. They were all waiting for Caroline to arrive. She had promised to be there, but Elena would only relax once her friend actually appeared.

Ever since Caroline had turned her emotions back on, she’d been avoiding all her friends, choosing instead to live out her guilt in solitude. Elena had decided that it was time for her to return and reconnect with her friends. Not giving her much of a choice, she’d ordered her to a girls’ night for which Damon generously donated his home. The room behind the library was easily transformed into a home theater and was perfect for cheesy 80s movies and other girly fun.

Bonnie held up two movies, asking Damon to choose.

“That one,” he pointed. “You can never go wrong with Molly Ringwald.”

Bonnie shrugged, accepting Damon’s choice and placing the DVD on the yes pile. Elena lifted her head to see. “Never seen that one,” she commented.

Damon stared at her in disdain. “The things that pass for culture in your generation,” he said, shaking his head.

“Says the guy who cried during Bodyguard,” Bonnie quipped.

Damon threw a cheese puff at her, glaring hard. Bonnie stuck her tongue out at him and went back to studying the DVDs.

“You do sound a little bit like my grandpa,” Elena added, a smirk playing on her lips.

Damon’s glare turned into a look of deep betrayal. “Remind me again why I love you?”

“The sex?” Bonnie guessed at the same time as Caroline’s voice rang out from the entrance.

“She’s the only one who can stand your company?”

They all turned towards the front of the room where Caroline hovered in the doorway. A deadly kind of silence followed her biting comment.

“Ouch, Blondie,” Damon finally replied.

Caroline looked at her feet and mumbled an apology. She hadn’t meant to bring down the mood; it was a poor attempt to revive the old snarky Caroline but it hadn’t come out as hoped. The problem was, she still didn’t feel comfortable with her friends after the way she behaved when her emotions had been turned off.

“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Damon said.

“You’re not staying?” Bonnie asked, surprised and sounding almost a little disappointed.

“Yeah, you can stay,” Elena added but Damon rose from the sofa, making his way to the door.

Caroline remained quiet and avoided his eyes. Not counting the most recent incident from a few seconds ago, things between her and Damon had improved recently, especially after his eulogy for Liz. But she was still nowhere near the comfort level with him as Elena or even Bonnie. Bonnie and Damon had grown very close after their stint in the 1994 world – yet another thing which made Caroline feel left out.

“Relax, Barbie. Go sit down. Your friends missed you,” Damon said and surprised her by squeezing her upper arm briefly as he passed her on the way out. Completely stunned by his unexpected kindness, she could do nothing more than to follow his directions and sank down heavily on the sofa between Elena and Bonnie. Both girls stared at her for a few moments before squealing and throwing themselves on top of her. Caroline, grateful for being accepted back into the fold, felt the ice break and laughed. Finally feeling like maybe everything would eventually turn out okay.

“What are we drinking?” she asked when the other two girls finally let go of her. “This is a drinking kind of night, right? Please say yes.”

As if on cue, Damon wheeled in a drinks cart loaded with all kinds of spirits, ice, a professional shaker, and every condiment one could think of.

“If you can’t go to a cocktail bar, the cocktail bar comes to you,” Damon announced. “What’ll it be, ladies?”

“Ooh, are you going to wait on us tonight?” Bonnie asked, excited at the prospect – though whether it was at the prospect of Damon playing the waiter or the alcohol itself, Elena wasn’t sure.

“Nope,” Damon replied. “I’m merely getting you started. The rest is up to you. I’m not staying to watch you mangle perfectly good alcohol with… this,” he finished with a nod towards the various fruit, juices, and syrups. “I’ll be upstairs, drinking bourbon. Like a real man. Also, I’m hoping this will prevent you from ransacking my wine cellar. It took weeks to restock after Little Gilbert had a go at it.”

“You’re really not staying?” Elena asked. She smiled at her girlfriends briefly and walked over to him.

“Nope, can’t. Those are the rules of girls’ night. No boyfriends allowed,” he replied.

Elena pouted a little and leaned in for a kiss. Damon kissed her back, short and sweet. Before he left, he cupped her cheek and they stood there for a moment, just smiling at each other. Something was different between them. A kind of shared gentleness that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was because they both knew now what it was like to live without the other. Or maybe it had always been there and Caroline had simply failed to notice before. She had to look away, it felt too intimate for some reason.

“Come up when you’re done here,” Damon whispered to Elena. It wasn’t meant to be heard by anyone else, but Caroline’s vampire ears picked up on it.

“Okay.”

“You’re welcome to stay the night, ladies,” he said to Bonnie and Caroline. “I made up a guestroom for you.” To Elena, he said, “The blue one on the second floor.”

“Thank you,” Elena replied.

When they both leaned in for a kiss, Bonnie stretched over the backrest and threw a cushion at them. “Hey,” she called out, “audience member here with a question.”

Damon reluctantly broke away from the kiss but kept Elena close. “I’m afraid we won’t be taking any requests at this point,” he said to Bonnie.

“What about requests asking you to please stop?”

“Especially those.” Damon smirked in Bonnie’s direction. To Elena he said, “Something tells me I’m not welcome here anymore.”

“Go,” she told him and kissed his cheek. “Love you.”

A moment later the door closed behind Damon and Elena rejoined them on the sofa.

“So, what are we watching first?” she asked.

“Breakfast Club,” Bonnie announced and went to put the DVD in.

***

The sun began to rise outside and Elena got up to open the balcony door. When she returned to the bed, she had her head pillowed on Damon’s abdomen to better watch the sunrise. She loved the fact that Damon’s bed was large enough that she could stretch out across it. She lifted one arm over her shoulder, expecting Damon to take her hand which he did. For a while, everything in the house and outside was silent, every sound suspended in the twilight.

Damon brought Elena’s hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss against her knuckles. She turned her head in his direction and smiled softly before continuing to watch the sky light up in shades of gold.

“I never used to like sunrises when I was human.”

“Why not?” Damon asked, voice hushed. His fingers began to comb through locks of her hair spread across his body.

“Don’t know. My mom loved it. Every time we drove out to the lake house, she would make my dad get up while it was still dark and they’d grab a blanket and sit outside and watch the day break.

“Every once in a while, she’d make me and Jeremy sit outside with her; mostly when my dad stayed behind in town because of work. Jeremy would just doze off while I was bored out of my mind. I could never sit still back then. If I was awake, I was on the move – I was constantly on my phone, or with my friends, or at a party, or planning a party. Sitting still and staring at the sky for an hour? That seemed completely pointless to me. But she just laughed and used to say, ‘One day, you’ll be watching the new day dawn with someone’s arms around you, someone who’s special. And you’ll understand.’ That was usually the point where I rolled my eyes and called her corny.”

“And now?” Damon prompted.

Elena shrugged. “I think it was her way of saying to wait for the one person who will make your mind go quiet.”

Damon smiled and continued to stroke her hair.

***

Even though the sun had risen, the temperature outside still had a little bit of bite to it. Elena crawled back under the blanket and cozied up to Damon to share his body warmth.

“You know,” she said, “I never used to sleep in the nude before you and I got together.”

“Well, I appreciate the easy access,” Damon commented with a chuckle and cupped her breast to make his point.

Elena laughed in response and pulled his arm back around herself for added warmth.

“You probably don’t even realize, but people usually sleep clothed. There’s a whole fashion line devoted to clothes you wear in bed. Normal people call them pajamas.”

“Ha-ha,” Damon commented dryly. “Contrary to popular belief, I was not born a sex fiend. In actuality I was raised a bit of a prude, it being mid-19th century and my father a devout Catholic, and all.”

“Who corrupted you? Oh, wait, was it Katherine?”

“Depends on what you mean by corrupted.”

“Well, Katherine wasn’t your first, was she?”

“Elena, Katherine wasn’t even _Stefan’s_ first and I am 8 years older than him. No, it was not Katherine.”

“Then who was?”

“Who was what? Who taught me the tricks or who taught me that love and sex are not the same?”

“Who was the first?” Elena enunciated.

“Ah. That would be Mrs Margaret Gardiner.”

“Am I supposed to know who that is? Never heard the name before.”

“You wouldn’t have. Her most distinguished accomplishments were to teach Stefan how to tie his own shoes and button his own shirt and, in her spare time, show ‘little’ Damon the ropes.”

“You did not! Tell me you didn’t sleep with Stefan’s teacher.”

“Strictly speaking she was Stefan’s governess, before Daddy Dearest hired a tutor. And I didn’t so much sleep with her as she with me. Though I do have to admit that I was a willing if somewhat befuddled participant.”

“How old were you?”

“Let’s see. So, our father hired the tutor and sacked Mrs Margaret when Stefan turned 8. And it had been going on for about a year before that. So, probably around 15 or 16?”

“For about a year? It happened more than once?!”

Damon shrugged. “Mrs Margaret had a lot of spare time. And it was very convenient since she lived in the servant’s quarters downstairs.”

“How old was she?”

“Twenty-something? Twenty-eight maybe?”

“Did your parents know?”

“No idea. I did spot my father coming out of her chamber on several occasions. So, if he knew, he certainly didn’t care.”

“You and your dad slept with the same woman? Ew,” Elena commented.

Damon shrugged nonchalantly again. “I slept with your mother,” he reminded Elena.

“What!?” Elena exclaimed and immediately relaxed again. “Oh, you mean, Isobel. Yeah, I don’t care about that. Though, also, ew.”

“So, who did you give your v-card to? I assume Donovan had the privilege?”

“Yep, it was Matt.” Elena, warmed up now, rolled away from Damon and stretched out on her side, facing him as she recounted the story. “We’d been going out for a couple of months and even though we were more like best friends than a couple, it felt like the logical next step. Back then I thought, maybe it would finally make things click for me, you know? Because I wasn’t really in love with him and I hoped this would do the trick.”

“I am exercising remarkable self-restraint right now not to laugh at you at how ridiculous and stupid this reasoning is.”

“Yeah, I know that now.”

“For my incredible self-control I deserve the full story. So, tell me.”

“Nuh-uh. I’m not telling you anything.”

“Come on, Gilbert, I need details.”

“So you can make fun of Matt?”

“I’m not going to make fun of him,” Damon promised. “I’m going to make fun of both of you. Oh god, it did not happen in his junk piece of a truck, was it? Don’t tell me you went all teenage cliché.”

“No, it wasn’t in his truck. It was at his place. His mom was never around, you know. And Vicky – well, she was Vicky. Constantly out somewhere, doing drugs or guys or whatever. Friday night, after school, I went over to his place as planned…”

“You _planned_ it? How romantic.”

“Shut up or you’re not getting the story.”

Damon mimed zipping his mouth shut.

“We were both kind of nervous. I got undressed, well, mostly—” At Damon’s questioning look, she amended, “I didn’t take my bra off.” Damon looked so much like he wanted to say something, the fight going on on his face clearly visible but in the end, he kept quiet, helped by Elena’s threatening glare. “As I was saying,” Elena continued, “we got undressed. I got on the bed. He did too. He fumbled with the condom a little; I tried to help but it was awkward. Eventually he got it on and then… we… got it on. And that’s the story. Told you – not much to tell.”

“That’s the story?” Damon scoffed. “Was there music? Candlelight? Where’s the foreplay, the kissing, the romance?”

“Hey, neither of us knew what the heck we were doing.”

“So, no foreplay?”

Elena shrugged. “We kissed.”

“Did he at least make sure you were ready?” Elena couldn’t tell if it was a smear on Matt’s skills or concern for her wellbeing. Almost subconsciously, Damon’s hand glided down and between her legs, as if to right a past wrong. A finger slipped between her folds and even though her mind wasn’t really in the play right then, wetness started to collect as Damon stroked back and forth. “Did it hurt?” Damon asked her with a furrow between his brows. So, it was concern, Elena amended to herself.

She tried to brush it aside but kept it honest. “A little. Not for long.”

Damon nodded, thoughts churning while absentmindedly continuing to stroke her. When she was wet enough, he slipped two fingers inside her. Something inside her belly fluttered and unfurled.

“Did you enjoy it?” Damon asked, slowly stroking her from inside and making warmth spread outwards through her body.

“Matt was very sweet, but it was his first time too. It didn’t last very long. Did I come?” Elena asked. “No, I did not. Not for a long time afterwards either. Not until—” Elena fell silent.

“Stefan.”

She nodded and stayed silent for fear of having turned things awkward.

“Relax,” Damon whispered. “I know you and my brother had sex, Elena.”

He grinned and she smiled back. “And yet he never made me sleep naked,” she shot back.

“Well, obviously he’s an idiot. Just like Donovan.” As if to underline his words, his fingers twisted inside her which made Elena bite down on a moan.

“Hey, stop hating on Matt. I’m sure your first performance wasn’t your best work.”

“That may be but in my defense – in my time, we didn’t have the internet. He could have done some research, made sure he knew what he was doing.”

Elena shrugged, or tried to, but Damon’s ministrations were making it increasingly difficult to think straight. Besides, she couldn’t really bring herself to care much for the handful of times she and Matt had gotten intimate when she had known even back then that he was the wrong guy for her.

“I’m sorry your first time wasn’t what it should have been,” Damon said after a pause in which Elena’s breathing had quickened. “If it had been me, I would have spent the night worshipping your body the way it deserves to. I would have told you I loved you until it was the only truth left in the world. I would have used every trick in the book to make you come again and again till you forgot your own name. I would have given you a night nobody else could ever live up to.”

“You have,” Elena replied breathily. “Repeatedly, if I remember correctly.”

Damon grinned wolfishly. “Let’s add another one to the list, shall we?”

With that, he pushed her on her back and dove under the duvet. His tongue came into play and Elena was just about to sink into the feeling of it when it disappeared, as did his fingers. “What—” she began.

Damon’s head reappeared at the foot of the bed where he leaned over the large wooden chest to rummage through one of the compartments. He returned quickly to her side, slipping under the duvet again and kissing her cheek while his hand mapped its way down her body. A moment later something slightly cool was pushed inside her while another, wider part, pushed against her wet folds. Elena had barely time to wonder what it was when, a second later, the vibrations started.

Her upper body surged up in surprise and he gently pushed her back down, his mouth moving to caress her neck. His hand traveled her body in featherlight touches. Elena tried to speak but what came out was a loud moan.

“Is… that…” she tried again. “Is that… new?”

“Mh-mm,” he replied still peppering her neck with tiny gentle kisses. He lifted his head to look at her. She made an effort to keep her eyes open. “I got bored last week and did some online shopping,” he explained.

“Again?”

Damon shrugged. “I get bored a lot when you’re not here.”

“Yeah?”

“Mh-mm,” he said again, going back to dotting her neck with kisses.

“What else—” She had to pause for another moan and tried again, “What… What else did you buy?”

“I’ll show you later.”

His mouth slid to her lips in a sensuous and languorous kiss just as the building pressure inside her released explosively, her vision whiting out completely. Her body was still trembling with seizures when Damon’s hand slipped down. The vibrations stopped and a few moments later the toy was gently removed from her body.

“I take it you liked that one?” Damon asked as Elena’s combed through his hair and pulled him down to her mouth again.

“I guess we can keep it,” she decided with a glance down at the toy in question where Damon had dropped it next to the bed. She cupped his face with both hands. “I love your boredom shopping sprees.”

“I know,” he smugly replied. “Come on. Shower, before your friends wake up and barge in here.” He sat up, throwing the duvet off of both of them.

“I don’t think I can stand.”

“Okay,” Damon amended, “bathtub it is.” He stood up and lifted her in his arms, carrying her to the bathroom while Elena laughed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, smut, smut, smut, smut. This whole chapter is pretty much 4.5K words of smut. Enjoy.

Elena had enlisted the help of Caroline and Bonnie to brainstorm ideas for the perfect second anniversary date to surprise Damon with. Granted, the surprise part wasn’t going to be that hard to accomplish, seeing that their second anniversary had come and gone several months prior. But they had had other things on their minds back then, what with Damon having just returned from the 1994 world and Elena not remembering that she and Damon even had an anniversary to celebrate.

But things were good now – not counting Lily and her fervent search for a way to bring her heretic friends-slash-family back. She and Damon were in a good place, her memories steadily kept returning to her one by one, and Elena felt like celebrating.

The problem was, she had nothing to wear and no time to go shopping for a new dress. She knew she had plenty of clothes back in the Salvatore mansion and a quick phone call to Stefan made sure that he would keep his brother busy and, more importantly out of the house, while she arrived early to get ready.

Elena rifled through her side of Damon’s walk-in closet. As suspected, she found several dressy clothes – some she remembered wearing to Mystic Falls Council Functions, others on dates she and Damon had gone on. Hidden behind a sparkly gold ballroom gown she found a short black and white print dress with thin straps and a loose skirt. She eyed it critically, trying to decide which shoes to pair it with, when she was hit with a new memory. By now she was so familiar with the process that she simply welcomed the images that flooded her mind.

***

_Elena stood before the closet in Damon’s room, sorting through all her clothes and deciding which ones she was going to take with her to college. Freshers’ week was still a few weeks away, but she didn’t want to do everything last minute. Plus, she decided, scanning the two piles on the floor, she definitely would need to do some shopping before the semester started._

_“Can’t go to college with high school clothes,” she explained her logic to Damon._

_“We can drive to New York tomorrow, if you want,” he suggested._

_“New York?” Elena asked, confused at the non-sequitur._

_“Where else do you go to shop for clothes?” Damon asked her as if she was crazy for considering any other place._

_“The mall, usually,” Elena replied. “But I realize Mystic Falls might not carry the couture Mr. Damon Salvatore desires.”_

_“Have you ever gone shopping in New York City?” Damon countered._

_“No.”_

_“It’s settled then. We’re going on a shopping spree. Oh, let’s make a whole weekend out of it,” Damon then suggested._

_***_

_Shopping with Damon turned out to be lots of fun. Elena enjoyed modeling the clothes for him and he was actually helpful picking out outfits and hounding shopping assistants to bring them the right sizes or different colors and generally cater on them like they were some upscale VIPs. He didn’t even have to employ compulsion all that often; a smoldering gaze directed at a young female salesperson and a little bit of flirting usually did the trick just as well. Elena pitied the poor little things that giggled and swooned whenever Damon smiled at them, but it was amusing to watch._

_Elena and Damon had been at it for almost the entire day when the mood slowly began to turn from fun and playful to heated and teasing. It started with a few leering looks from Damon whenever Elena stepped out of the dressing room clad in a new outfit, grew when those looks turned into suggestive comments and escalated when Elena had trouble doing up the zipper on the side of a dress. No matter how she contorted herself, she simply couldn’t reach the pull tab._

_“Damon? Help please?” she called out to him through the closed curtain._

_Damon had been using the time while Elena got changed to secretly shop for some lingerie for his girlfriend in the section right next to the changing rooms. But he’d heard her call and came inside._

_His eyes roamed her body up and down. The dress was a black and white print, with spaghetti straps, and mostly backless which was why Elena had taken off her bra and because she couldn’t work the zipper by herself, the garment was revealing way more than it covered. Damon’s hands moved to Elena’s shoulders and pushed the straps of fabric down. He leaned in to kiss her neck._

_“Damon,” Elena laughed, admonishing him. “Help me zipping it up, not taking it off.”_

_“Well, that’s simply nonsensical. This dress was clearly made to be taken off.”_

_“How about this: If I like it enough to buy it, I promise you can take it off of me some day.”_

_Damon pretended to pout, but did deign to help with putting it on. He couldn’t however help himself and let his fingers slide all the way back up Elena’s exposed spine. She shivered at the delicate sensation and Damon hid a grin by pressing his lips to Elena’s naked shoulder. Before he stepped away, he bit it very lightly and met Elena’s eyes in the full-length mirror. Their gazes burned with passion as they continued to stare at each other, wordlessly._

_Damon caught himself first and stepped away and out of the changing room. Elena followed, modelling the dress and turning every which way to decide whether she actually liked it. Damon stood to the side and watched her, eyes roaming up and down her body. Elena, chewing the corner of her mouth, turned to him eventually and said, “What do you think?”_

_“You look striking, Elena,” he answered honestly. Then he walked closer to her and whispered in her ear, “With or without the dress. Though I must say, I do prefer you without one.” One of his hands slipped under the short hem of the skirt and slid upwards, caressing the inside of her thigh. Elena almost moaned at the provocative touch, but remembered suddenly that they were in a public space. She slapped his hand away and disappeared behind the curtain again._

_They decided they’d done enough shopping for one day after that._

***

_They didn’t look at each other while they waited for the elevator to arrive. They didn’t even touch. The elevator doors slid open and both stepped inside, still a perfect picture of calm and collected. But as soon as the doors slid shut and they were left alone, they jumped each other. Elena, one hand buried in his hair, pulled his head down and devoured his mouth while one of her legs wrapped high around his hip. She tried her best to get him as close as humanely possible while both of them were still dressed._

_She violently tore away from his mouth to lick a wide stripe across her own palm. Her hand slipped into his pants, foregoing both, zipper and belt. The tight space made maneuvering hard, but she managed to wrap her hand around his manhood and jerked him off a few times as best she could. The elevator doors dinged open but Elena paid them no mind. She was feverishly mauling Damon’s neck while rubbing her sensitive breasts all over his clothed chest. She needed him so bad, she didn’t care anymore who knew or saw._

_Damon, with the last bit of control he still possessed, held Elena tightly to him as he squinted left and right. Fortunately, the floor seemed empty, so Damon deemed it safe to step out. He tried to detach Elena from himself, but the woman wouldn’t budge. She clung to Damon’s shoulders with both arms and her leg, still wrapped around his hips, continued to press him close. Quickly losing the will to be the rational one, Damon yanked Elena’s other leg up and around himself as well. Supporting her weight with one arm beneath her bottom, he carried her to the door of their suite as fast as the tightness in his pants would allow. His jeans were chafing painfully and with the hand he was using to support Elena’s ass, he could feel Elena’s heat through the tights she was wearing. It was driving him crazy with want. He needed to be inside her._

_He fumbled with the key card, mostly because he was doing it blind but eventually, he felt the door give and they almost fell inside. Catching himself, Damon managed to get them both to the bed where he sat down heavily on the edge of the mattress, Elena still astride him._

_He reached the top of her tunic and ripped it away unceremoniously, tearing it all the way down the middle. Because she wasn’t moving to release her hold around his hips, he ripped into her tights and panties as well, hands moving to her wetness immediately. The scent of her desire enveloped him completely and made his head swim. She whined on top of him and he took it for what it was – a demand to hurry up and get undressed himself. Damon quickly ripped down the zipper of his jeans, but the belt proved difficult. He growled at his failed attempts to remove it, Elena too far gone to be of any help. She was busy attacking his collarbone while simultaneously hiking his shirt up so she could claw at his back. Finally, the clasp of his belt slipped free and he lifted his hips off the bed to push his pants down his thighs. He didn’t bother taking them off completely._

_He grabbed his own hard cock and slid it back and forth through Elena’s moisture. Her hand came down to join his and together they directed the stiff member to her entrance. She immediately sank down on it and without a moment’s pause began to ride him, circling her hips and setting a demanding pace._

_She bit down on his bottom lip, wildly moving up and down in his lap. Damon panted heavily into her mouth, both hands on her ass, helping her keep her balance while trying not to slip off the edge of the bed himself. He pushed up every time she slammed down, meeting her every move._

_For an indeterminate amount of time everything became a blend of frenzied bodies moving as one, of the sound of skin slapping against skin, moans, groans and whispered nothings creating a background symphony, a wet, heated slide into madness, and the smell of sex pungent and overpowering around them._

_Elena’s arms were wrapped tightly around Damon’s neck and while her body moved almost violently on top of his, she pressed her face into the space between his neck and her arms and keened like an injured animal every time she came down on him. She was burning up, feeling like tendrils of heat evaporated on her skin, yet every time she thought she was going to crest the abyss, it moved a tiny bit away from her. She was getting desperate, the sounds of her desire and frustration mixed into sobs that grew progressively louder._

_Damon cupped her face, but she was barely aware of it, eyes closed and chasing the ever-elusive high. She was in her own world which Damon didn’t really object to but it was too easy to overstep boundaries in this state of mind. He needed her to check in with reality to make sure they weren’t doing anything she wouldn’t be okay with when fully present._

_“You okay?” he asked breathlessly, trying to make eye contact. She didn’t respond. “Elena,” he tried again when her only response was a mewl. “Baby, tell me you’re alright.”_

_She seemed to snap out of it finally, her movements slowed down and she opened her eyes to look at him. She nodded and breathed, “Yeah.” Her tongue shot out to wet her lips and she smiled at him. “Yeah, I’m good, I promise. Love you. Don’t stop.”_

_She picked up the pace again and Damon had barely time to mumble an, “Okay,” before he had to let go because she was back on the furious chase for release. He had to grab her ass again to have something to push against on his upward thrusts. Elena moaned his name and wrapped her legs even tighter around him, giving herself something to rub up against. But no matter how hard she tried she simply couldn’t get there. Her body shook from being on the brink for so long and she yearned to tumble over, yet something was holding her back._

_She was slamming down on him with a force that would have been bruising had she not been a vampire. Damon could feel her getting beyond desperate. With his hands cupped around her behind, he spread her cheeks, fingertips skimming over her puckered entrance. She jerked slightly when he circled a finger around it. Then he dipped lower to where he was sliding into her body and coated two fingers in her slickness. When he touched her pucker again, she didn’t jerk, but her movements slowed incrementally. He spread the wetness around to slick her up and on her next thrust down, pushed a fingertip inside. Her head lifted off his shoulder and she stared at him._

_“This okay?” he asked. She nodded furiously, eyes never leaving his face._

_On her next push down, he pulled out and pressed two fingers inside, not going deeper than just past the first knuckle, but it was enough. The double stimulation worked; mere seconds later Elena came hard, body spasming in pulsing seizures. He kept moving inside her until he was sure she was finished. Only then die he let go of the tight hold on himself and, thrusting inside her a few more times, finally allowed himself the release his body craved._

_She was still staring at him wide-eyed when she finally came down. Trying to be as gentle as he could, he first pulled out his fingers then lifted her off his softening cock and helped her stretch out on the bed. Her muscles must have been sore from riding him this long – even though his sense of time was completely shot – and he thanked the instant vampire healing to do its job quickly._

_Then he removed whatever clothes they were still wearing and threw the ones that were torn beyond repair in the direction of the trashcan. Her eyes were following his every move until he rejoined her on the bed._

_“What?” he asked as he stretched out next to her, head propped up on one elbow._

_She wet her lips before replying. “I… This was… I’ve never…”_

_He raised an eyebrow, encouraging her without words to finish her sentence._

_“I don’t think I’ve ever come this hard,” she finally said._

_“You’re welcome,” he replied with a smirk._

_“Don’t look so smug. It’s unattractive.”_

_“Lies and slander! You think I’m sexy,” he protested and grinned childishly at her._

_She ignored his protests and also his sparkling bright eyes which were distracting. “What you did… The way you touched me…”_

_“Yes…?” Damon asked and waited. He knew it was not fake modesty or shyness that made her hesitate. In fact, one of the things he loved about Elena was that she was not timid when it came to sex. She just needed time to put a new experience into words._

_As he waited and watched the thoughts form behind her eyes, he brought one hand to the swell of her hip. Sliding his palm over her buttock, he let his fingers slip into the crevice and stroked lightly over the opening where he’d just touched her so intimately. Elena’s breath hitched._

_“Nobody has ever touched me like that before,” she stated._

_Damon didn’t reply. He’d figured as much from her intense reaction._

_Elena continued, “But you knew what you were doing. So, I figure, you’ve done it before? And more?”_

_Damon couldn’t fight the grin off his face. “More? You mean anal sex? Come on, Elena,” he added in a sing-song voice, “If you’re old enough to do it, you should be able to say it.”_

_“Then stop distracting me,” Elena returned, pushing his hand away. At his questioning gaze, she amended, “It tickles.” He grinned at her, but kept his hands to himself after that. “And yes,” Elena finished, “I did mean anal sex. You’ve done it before, right?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Elena paused in thought. “I want to try it.”_

_Damon wasn’t surprised. He’d expected as much, just maybe not so soon. “Are you sure?” he asked._

_“What you did felt amazing,” she said. “I want more. Yes, I’m sure.”_

***

_Elena’s fingers were dancing all across Damon’s front as he lay sprawled on the bed. He enjoyed the fact that as a vampire his recuperating time was close to zero but after the intense session they’d just enjoyed, even he needed time to recover. Judging by her insistent fingers it seemed, however, that Elena was way ahead of him. She let her mouth follow her hands and slid down the bed to breath hot air across the tip of his still slack manhood. It began to stir as she circled the tip with her tongue while at the same time rasping her nails gently along his inner thighs._

_Elena pushed her hair to one side and dove down to envelop his growing hardness with her lips. Damon sighed in content. He loved to feel the cool silkiness of her hair on his inner thigh almost as much as her hot, wet mouth on his cock._

_She didn’t let off until he had grown to full size inside her mouth. Only then did she pull off and slid up his body to straddle his hips. She moved back and forth, spreading her wetness along his shaft and canted her hips forward. Damon finally realized what she was doing. He grabbed her hips and stalled all her movements._

_“No, not here, not now,” Damon told her._

_She pouted prettily. “Why not?”_

_Damon raised an eyebrow at her. “We don’t have what we need here. A finger or two is one thing, but we’ll need actual lubricant if we want to go beyond fingers.”_

_Elena dropped her shoulders. “When we’re back home then?” she asked, sounding eager._

_Damon agreed with a nod and they sealed the deal with a kiss._

_Damon let go of her lips to take her face in his hands to kiss her properly. While she allowed him to ravage her mouth, one of her hands slid between their bodies and she directed him to her wet opening. They both growled into each other’s mouths as their bodies joined. Damon enjoyed the slow rise and fall of her hips for a few minutes. On her next rise though he slipped out of her and disappeared out from underneath her body, guiding her to lie down on her stomach._

_“What—” Elena began, but he shushed her, lips close to her ear._

_“Just relax and enjoy,” he whispered and moved determinedly down her back._

_He grinned wolfishly at her confusion. If she liked his fingers, she was going to love his tongue._

_***_

_The bedroom was filled with moans and heavy breathing and Elena was grateful that they had the Salvatore Mansion to themselves that night. She hovered above Damon in the middle of the bed, sheets, blankets, and a few of the pillows strewn haphazardly on the floor. A plastic bag full of goodies from a New Yorker adult shop spilled on the mattress beside them and Damon was blindly rummaging through it._

_He flipped them over, Elena now on her back as he kneeled beside her. With his teeth he tore the plastic seal over the cap of the bottle and spit it out. Pouring a good dollop of the clear liquid onto his fingers, he looked at Elena and said, “Safe word?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“Pick a safe word,” Damon explained patiently while carefully coating his fingers, “and use it if you want to stop at any point.”_

_“I don’t want to stop.”_

_Damon sighed. “We’re not doing this if you don’t pick a safe word and promise me to use it if you have to.”_

_“Are you actually serious?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Elena glared at him. “Damon, this is extremely, mood-killingly unsexy.”_

_“So is hurting you. Pick a word.”_

_“Can’t I just say ‘stop’?” Elena asked._

_“Yeah, because you never said stop before and then actually cursed at me when I did,” he scoffed._

_Elena scowled at him, but Damon was not impressed. “I don’t know which to pick,” Elena finally grumbled._

_“It can be anything you want, but something you wouldn’t usually use when we’re in the middle of it. Say, a fruit, a city or state, your grandma’s name – I don’t care.”_

_“Uhm…” Elena thought hard, but her mind was blank. The fact that Damon was right there, in all his naked glory and rearing to go, didn’t exactly aid in the thinking process._

_“The traffic light system is an all-time favorite,” Damon suggested when he saw that she wasn’t being opposed to the idea of a safe word but was simply having trouble coming up with one._

_“How’s that work?” Elena asked._

_“Red for stop, yellow for pause or slow down, green for ‘please, god, keep doing what you’re doing’.”_

_“Okay,” Elena agreed. “Red it is.”_

_Damon bent down to kiss her while his fingers slipped between her legs._

_“Mmmh,” Elena moaned into his mouth, “Green.”_

_He pushed one finger inside._

_“Definitely green,” Elena moaned again and Damon added another finger._

_He pulled back and they both grinned at each other. That was, until Damon twisted his fingers and Elena’s jaw dropped open, her breath escaping her in a soft gasp._

***

“Mr. Salvatore,” Elena greeted Damon when he and Stefan entered the house. “You’re almost late for your date.”

She had texted Stefan to tell him it was safe to come back again, now that she was almost done getting ready. It hadn’t taken long for the brothers to return from wherever it was that Stefan had kept Damon busy.

Damon’s mouth had opened and he froze in the parlor when he spotted her, eyes roaming her body up and down. He caught himself quickly and took the remaining few steps towards her. Leaning in close but not quite touching, his nose followed the line of her neck all the way from her collarbone to her ear where he whispered, “You smell delicious.” He pulled back a little. “And you look stunning.” He took her hand and twirled her around once to admire her from all sides while Elena laughed and complied. “Breathtaking,” he whispered.

Elena smiled and nodded once. “Thank you.”

Damon brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “A date you say?”

“A belated anniversary celebration,” Elena explained.

“Then I should probably get ready,” Damon said.

Elena nodded again. “You should. Go on, I’ll wait here.”

Before Damon left for upstairs, his eyes slid across her body once more. He smirked and bit the corner of his mouth. Elena almost blushed, weirdly pleased with his reaction.

“You do look amazing,” Stefan said and brought her back to reality.

Elena smiled at him, nervously smoothing down the skirt of her dress. “Thanks, Stefan.”

“So, what kind of date do you have planned,” Stefan made small-talk.

Elena listened first before giving an answer. But it sounded like Damon had turned on the shower so it was probably safe to speak. “Oh, just a fancy dinner and a bourbon tasting afterwards.” She didn’t mention that she had after dinner plans for them as well. Those were not the kind of plans one discussed with their ex-boyfriend who also happened to be current boyfriend’s younger brother.

They continued to make small talk until Damon reappeared some ten minutes later. He wrapped an arm around her middle, palm coming to rest on her naked back, and pulled her into his side as he kissed her temple.

“Ready when you are,” he said, fingers gliding along her spine in a barely there touch and making Elena shiver.

He was dressed in a non-formal suit and shirt, top two buttons undone, no tie, all in black. He looked delicious and Elena couldn’t wait until tonight when she would be taking the clothes off of him. Judging by the smoldering looks he was sending in her direction, Damon had the same idea when it came to her.

***

The room was a mess. The armchair – the scene of their first round of lovemaking that night – lay tipped over on its side. The large painting in the corner was still upright, but skewed, where Damon had pounded into her against the wall, marking the spot of their second round. For their third, they had actually made it to the bed.

Damon had foolishly assumed that that meant they’d be taking a short break, but Elena was having none of it. She moved to straddle him and raked fingernails down his chest. His breathing picked up again and he opened his eyes, staring at her.

“Can’t keep up?” she teased him with an easy grin.

Damon’s jaw dropped in mock outrage. “You did not just say that,” he threatened and thrust his hips up, pushing inside her once again.

“Nuh-uh,” she said and lifted off of him, directing his cock to her back entrance. “I want you here.”

Damon shook his head in disbelief but quickly complied by pushing first one, then two wet fingers inside in preparation for his intrusion. “Do you remember your safe word?” Damon asked as he moved the digits in and out of her.

“Red,” Elena answered.

He forced himself to go slow and by the time she was ready, he was holding on by the flimsiest of shreds onto his sanity. Holding her hips tightly, Damon bit his lips as she sank down on him. His eyes closed involuntarily and he couldn’t help but groan loudly; she was so incredibly tight. When Elena began moving on top of him, Damon released a feral growl. The thumb of one hand dipped into her wetness, but she slapped his hand away.

“Don’t.” She panted before continuing, “I don’t want to come yet.” Elena paused to breathe. “And I’m barely holding back as it is.”

She leaned back a little, supporting her weight on an outstretched arm and Damon realized she was going to be the death of him; he had never seen anything as sexy or erotic as Elena. When she whimpered his name, Damon was done for. This was going to be over too soon.

He slipped out of her and pulled them both down and on their sides, sliding behind her. He added some more lubricant and pressed back into her body, Elena accepting him with a happy sigh. His knee fitted to hers, he pushed up, making space for himself, and picked up the pace. His brain was completely fried, body moving completely on auto-pilot, all senses focused on giving Elena what she wanted before he allowed his own body to explode into a million pieces.

When she finally let him touch her, he almost sobbed in relief. Knowing exactly how, he quickly brought her the release she was craving and stilled inside her body to let his own orgasm wash over him.


	19. Chapter 19

“Hey, how’s it going?” Damon greeted Elena when he picked up her call.

“It’s going. Just left the library, headed towards the cafeteria now. I hope there’s some food left, because I’m too tired to go out and get something to eat.”

“Look at you,” Damon replied, “sounding all like a real college student.”

“I am a real college student.”

“Heh. Just occurred to me – I’m dating a college girl. Hey,” he added, face alight with the idea, “maybe you could join a sorority, so I can be dating a sorority girl? I’ve eaten a few, but I don’t think I’ve ever dated one.”

“Ha-ha. Very funny, Damon.” Elena yawned wide and thought she heard chains rustling. “What are you doing?”

“Stefan and I are checking the restraints in the basement,” he replied.

“Why?”

“Because we have officially run out of ideas on how to keep Mommy Dearest from exacting her revenge on the innocent citizens of Mystic Falls. The next chance we get, we’re going to vervain the hell out of her and put her in time-out down here.”

Lily had grown more volatile the longer Stefan and Damon refused to help her get her so called family back. She had threatened to start killing off people in Mystic Falls and they all knew not to take her threats lightly.

“Well, don’t let me keep you,” Elena said. “Call me later?”

“Will do.”

Damon disconnected the call and Elena stashed her phone away when something in her mind rang with recognition.

***

_Elena walked into the Salvatore house. “Damon?”_

_“Basement,” came the voice from downstairs._

_Elena followed the voice that led her to the holding cell in the cellar. “What are you doing here?”_

_“Some maintenance,” Damon replied while checking on the chains and the restraints. “Reinforcing the bolts.”_

_“Why?” Elena asked skeptically._

_“To be prepared for the next big bad that descends upon this unluckiest of all small towns.”_

_“Oh,” Elena replied. It bothered her that this was a legitimate concern. “Our lives are so weird.”_

_Damon nodded towards the restraints. “Care to add some more weird to it?” he asked with a lascivious grin._

_Elena pulled a face. “You know I enjoy all our little experiments, but I draw the line at sex dungeon.”_

_Damon laughed. “Noted.” He pulled her into his side with one arm. “Just as well. I prefer to have my hands free to touch you. And vice versa.” He paused to kiss her cheek. “How was your sibling bonding date with Jeremy?”_

_“Good,” Elena replied. “I think he misses Bonnie. It’s a bit strange that she left without saying goodbye to anyone, but Jeremy assured me they talk almost every night and that she’s having fun. Anyway, look what I found.”_

_Damon took the flyer she pulled from her bag. It was an ad for a drive-in movie theater. “You want to go?”_

_“Yeah. Look, they’re playing one of your favorites tonight. Could be fun.”_

_“How do you know I like Casablanca?”_

_“You love Gone with the Wind. I extrapolated. So, what do you say?”_

_“One of the best movies of all time and I get to make out with my girlfriend in the privacy of my own car? You got yourself a date.”_

_***_

_Elena sighed as the credits rolled. She lifted her head to kiss Damon. Nestled as she was into his side, her legs up on the dashboard, the angle was a little awkward, but they made do._

_“Are you crying?” Damon asked her, pulling back._

_“A little,” she sniffed. “This was a great movie.”_

_“I know. They don’t make them like that anymore.”_

_They cuddled and occasionally kissed as they waited for the majority of the cars to empty out before Damon put the car in drive and turned towards the exit as well._

_“Let’s get ice cream,” Elena suggested._

_“Where would you get ice cream this time of night?”_

_“There’s a great ice cream place in the mall. I bet they’re still open.” Elena knew full well Damon’s aversion to malls and she bit down on her lip in amusement seeing the reluctance war on his face. But he did change the lanes to take the turn towards the mall which made Elena grin._

_“You’re shameless,” Damon commented dryly on her quiet amusement. “You know I can’t say no to you.”_

_Elena grinned in response and leaned back into her seat. The night air was still warm from the hot summer day and they drove with the top down. Feeling happy and giddy, Elena scooted further down in her seat and leaning slightly against Damon’s shoulder as he drove, she pushed her legs out the side window._

_Damon glanced down at her and laced their fingers together._

_“What about a beach vacation?” he suggested, out of the blue._

_Elena’s eyes lit up. “Yes. When?” she eagerly asked._

_“There’s still a few weeks of summer left, aren’t there?”_

_“Where would you want to go?”_

_“You pick,” Damon replied._

_“Anywhere I want?”_

_“Anywhere accessible by modern means of transportation.”_

_***_

_“Look,” Elena exclaimed, pointing at something with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning._

_Damon followed her finger and his face fell. “No. Absolutely not. You know I love you but even I have my limits.”_

_Elena looked up at him with sad Bambi eyes._

_“Nope,” Damon said, “not gonna work.”_

_She added a shaking lower lip._

_“No. Not this time.”_

_Elena pulled in her pout, now just looking sad. “Really?” she asked, dispirited. She looked at the floor, shoulders sagging, a perfect picture of misery._

_“God, I hate you,” Damon groaned, rolling his eyes, knowing full well he was being manipulated but absolutely powerless against it. “You manipulative, little minx.”_

_Elena’s whole demeanor changed within a second. She perked up, smiled wide and happy and pulled Damon towards the photo booth. “Thank you.”_

***

Elena, back in her dorm room, pulled her diary out from its hiding place under her bed and removed the photo strip that she was using to mark the page. She stared at herself and Damon in the pictures. For someone who was so reluctant to get into the booth, he looked perfectly at ease in the pictures. She pulled out her phone and took a picture of the photo strip, sending it off to Damon. She thought about how to caption it and wrote,

_I love you for indulging me. Thank you. For the movie, the ice cream, the photo booth. And the memories._

She added a kissy face smiley.

Her phone rang minutes later.

“Did you manage to get some food in you?” Damon asked instead of a greeting.

“I did,” Elena replied. “I ate, I fed, and I am beat.”

“And the memory?”

Elena yawned, snuggling down into her pillow. “Came back right after we hung up.”

“Anything else?”

“No.” She yawned again, loudly. “God, I’m tired.”

“Go to bed, Elena,” Damon said, indulgently.

“I am in bed.”

“Then go to sleep.”

“In a minute.” She didn’t want to hang up yet. “Did we go on that beach vacation you suggested?”

“Yes, we did.”

“Hmm. Where did we go?”

“You don’t remember?”

Elena shook her head, then her sleepy mind reminded her that he couldn’t see her. “No.”

“Florida. We flew to Miami, then drove south to the Keys in a rental. You really can’t remember?”

“No, why?”

“The airline lost your suitcase. We had to go shop for all the necessities before we could start our vacation. You were complaining the entire time while I had the time of my life watching you model bikini after bikini.”

Elena chuckled quietly. “I bet,” she murmured.

“We took a snorkeling trip the next morning and we saw dolphins and you couldn’t stop smiling. You said it was the best day of your life.”

“It sounds amazing, Damon.” There was a pause and Damon listened to her breathe, thinking she had fallen asleep. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Taking me? Telling me? Just… thank you.”

Her voice sounded deep with exhaustion, raw and raspy and it was doing things to Damon’s insides. “Good night, Elena,” he quietly said, lulling her to sleep.

“Night. Love you,” she mumbled, barely awake.

“Love you too, babe.”

***

_In the dream, Elena was looking out at the bluest turquoise water she had ever seen. The sun burned hot from a clear blue sky the color of Damon’s eyes but in the shade, under the cabana roof, she was perfectly content, sipping from a cool drink._

_“Where do you want to have dinner tonight?”_

_Elena’s head rolled lazily in his direction. “Surprise me.”_

_“French?” Damon asked._

_Elena pulled a face. “Again? You can feed me oysters all you want, I won’t magically just start liking them.”_

_“You liked the onion soup.”_

_“I said it’s passable, compared to everything else you made me try. I wouldn’t go so far to say I liked it.”_

_Damon huffed. That’s the thanks he got for trying to expand her tastes. Elena and fast food was a love story he was not going to get in-between, apparently._

_“Can’t we just grab a pizza?” Elena suggested._

_“Should have taken you to Italy,” Damon mumbled._

_“What?” When Damon didn’t respond, she asked again, “You wanted to take me to Italy?”_

_Damon sighed. “Not just Italy,” he said. “Europe. I wanted to take you to Europe for the summer. Isn’t that what all high school graduates are supposed to do before college?”_

_“You wanted to take me to Europe?” Elena’s mouth fell open. “But you never said anything.”_

_“You’d just gotten Jeremy back. Figured, you wouldn’t want to leave so soon after getting him back.”_

_Elena just stared at him, blinking quickly to prevent herself from crying at the thoughtful gesture. “I would’ve loved to go. But you’re right, not after Bonnie brought him back. Maybe we can do that some time still?”_

_“Maybe,” Damon replied._

_Elena, still smiling softly, reached for Damon’s hand but before their fingers could touch, she woke up._

***

Elena, mind still fuzzy with sleep, sat up in her bed. The beautiful dream still played on her mind and she sighed wistfully. She often had trouble holding on to the things she dreamt about and she hoped she wouldn’t forget this one until morning. She reached for the glass of water on her nightstand before turning over and going back to sleep.

Instead of falling asleep, however, her dream continued. She saw herself and Damon getting ready for dinner, both dressed in white; she saw herself taking Damon’s arm as they walked into the restaurant. As the waitress showed them to their table Elena finally realized that she wasn’t watching a dream, she was remembering. When she remembered the waitress offering to take their picture, something clicked in Elena’s brain.

Quietly, so as not to wake Bonnie and Caroline, Elena pulled out the Damon box from under her bed and took out one of the framed pictures of her and Damon. She touched its surface, remembering the evening it was taken. It was a perfect moment on a perfect day during a perfect summer and it had been so easy to believe that this was going to be the rest of her life. Just one perfect day after another.

Instead of returning it to the box, Elena placed the picture on her nightstand. Come morning, she would unpack the Damon box. She didn’t need it anymore to remind her of what she had given up. Damon was part of her life again and she would fight whatever came in between them to keep it that way.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some smut. But you've made it to this chapter, so I'm guessing you don't really mind?

“So, I talked to Caroline and despite her threats of decapitation, castration, and a very impressive show of ugly but ultimately fake crying and begging, on my part, I think I got you out of the surprise party she definitely has not been planning behind your back.”

“What party? What are you talking about?” Elena asked distractedly while rummaging through her enormous sling bag.

“The surprise party that Caroline has been planning since kindergarten,” Damon clarified. “Don’t tell me you’re actually surprised?” At Elena’s stupefied stare, he added, “Your birthday? The one coming up in less than 3 weeks? Ring any bells?”

Elena’s eyes got wide as saucers. “Oh my god. I completely forgot.”

“You know I find the whole nerdy college girl up to her ears in books totally hot.” Damon smirked. “But Elena – it’s your twenty-first birthday. Don’t tell me you actually forgot about it. Or worse – that you would rather go to Caroline’s party?”

“Rather?” Elena asked as a smile slowly spread across her face. “Does that mean there are other options?”

“Duh,” Damon replied. “I’ve got the whole day planned out. It’s a Saturday, which is perfect because you don’t have classes on Saturday and your last final is the Thursday before that, so no distractions and I get you all to myself. Which is why I begged off Caroline to postpone the surprise birthday bash.”

“And what exactly did you have planned for the day?” Elena asked.

“I’m not telling you. It’s a surprise!”

“But then how will I decide if your surprise is better than Caroline’s?”

Damon let his jaw drop, acting wounded. “Ouch. Your trust in me is underwhelming.”

“Come on, Damon,” Elena begged, fluttering her eyelashes, “give me a hint at least.”

“Give me a kiss,” Damon placed his counter offer. Elena went willingly. “You’ll need a gown,” he gave away when their lips separated.

Elena looked at him, surprised. In her mind she went over all the possibilities she could think of, but came up with nothing. She leaned in again and said, her lips brushing against Damon’s, “Give me another hint.”

After she paid it forward, he thought for a moment and said, “I hired a pilot to get us there.”

Well, that didn’t clear things up at all. As Elena leaned in again, determined to get another hint out of him, Damon put a finger to her lips, halting her. “Nope,” he said. “That’s all you need to know for now.”

With that, he turned and left, leaving a smiling, but stupefied Elena behind. She really hadn’t realized that they had already moved into June, being so busy with school, her friends, Damon, and everything else. But… wasn’t Damon’s birthday in June also? Before she could devote any more time to that thought, she caught sight of the clock on top one of the buildings and had to hurry to her next class.

***

Damon was lounged in the library, a book in one hand, a glass of bourbon in the other – all in all, a fairly familiar picture by now. He looked up when Elena walked in.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, eyes wide in surprise and an expression of concern on his face.

Before she answered, she walked up to him and he met her half-way. “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday,” she said.

“You already did,” he reminded her. “This morning, when we spoke on the phone?”

“Yeah, but then I couldn’t do this,” she said and wound her arms around his neck, kissing him slow and deep.

“That’s quite a drive for a kiss,” he said when they came up for air again.

“Maybe I want to do more than just kiss.”

Not that Damon wasn’t up for it, but, “Don’t you have finals all week?”

“I do. That’s why we’re staying in and not going out to celebrate.”

“We don’t celebrate my birthdays, Elena.”

“Why not?”

Sighing, he looped his arms around her loosely and replied, “Once you bat above 100, turning 174 isn’t that much of an accomplishment.”

“I disagree,” she said and grinned as she continued, “Managing not to get killed for 174 years straight is quite a feat, considering you’re you.”

Damon’s jaw dropped, a look of deep betrayal on his face. “Ow.” He pinched her side in retaliation and she squirmed away. “Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me – it is my birthday, after all.”

She leaned in closer and whispered, “You need me to make it up to you?” with a salacious grin.

Instead of answering, Damon rushed them up to his room.

***

In the middle of the night, Damon walked into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and in search of his girlfriend. He’d woken up a little while ago and found Elena missing. He had waited for her to come back, figuring she went to get a glass of water, but when after more than half an hour she didn’t return, he got up to see where she was. He found her at the table, reading one of her textbooks.

“Can’t sleep?” Damon asked, sitting down across from her and taking a sip of water from her glass.

“I don’t think I’m ready to take this test,” Elena said, motioning towards the book and her notes. “I haven’t been as focused on my classes as I should have been.”

“You should have stayed at Whitmore instead of driving over here tonight.”

“But I wanted to be here,” she replied. “It’s probably just me being nervous before a test. I always get all jittery and anxious.”

Damon’s grin turned dirty. “Hey, if it’s just a matter of not being tired yet, I promise to wear you out if you come back to bed with me,” he offered.

“Ugh, guys, please,” Stefan groaned as he walked into the kitchen also. “Not in the kitchen.”

He didn’t spare them another look and continued to the sink where he filled himself a huge glass of water. Having his back turned, he didn’t see Elena ball up a page of paper and throw it at Damon, together with a death glare. The words ‘too late’ were already on his tongue and she dared him with her glare to keep them to himself. Damon pouted but she only glared harder at him in warning. Damon rolled his eyes but thankfully refrained from saying anything.

A few moments later Stefan left them again with a mumbled good night. Elena thought he hadn’t caught their antics, but before he left the room, Stefan sent a grateful nod in Elena’s direction, though she might have imagined it.

When they were alone again, Damon turned serious. He reached across the table to cup her cheek. “All jokes aside, you okay?”

She nodded. “Just too much on my mind. I won’t be this wreck of nerves once the term is over, I promise.”

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Damon asked.

“Or,” Elena said, closing her book, “you could let me take you up on that offer…” She trailed off, biting her lip enticingly.

Damon came around the table and pulled her up by her hands. The force of the pull pushed her body firmly against his. He wrapped one arm around her middle to keep her close, the other going back to her face. For a long moment he just looked at her, no need for words. Simultaneously, they both leaned in for a kiss, lips moving slow against each other before opening up and allowing for deeper entrance.

They kissed slowly and languidly for several minutes until Damon’s hand wandered down her body, encouraging Elena to wrap her legs around his waist. Like this, they slowly made their way back to the bedroom, stopping often when Damon pushed her against a wall to trace the line of her neck with his lips. Or set her down on one of the side tables as they passed the parlor, or pressed her against the banister on the stairs because her tongue was doing wicked things to him and he needed a break to catch a breath.

When they eventually ended up back upstairs, he set her down on the bed and removed her t-shirt. She lay back as he pulled down her yoga pants and thick socks – because even in summer the house tended to get drafty in the night. Finally, he removed her panties.

Damon slowly made the trek up her body, stopping frequently to worship and caress her with hands and lips. Inside the V of her legs, he took a quick swipe between her womanly folds before continuing upwards and paying long and extensive attention to her breasts because she wouldn’t let him before when she told him to lay back and let her do all the work.

When he finally reached her face, their mouths met for another toe-curling kiss. Pulling back from it, Elena flipped them over.

“My turn,” she whispered and began the same slow exploration of his body.

She tasted his tip while her hands roamed his chest. He grabbed one of her palms, placing a kiss in the center and continued to kiss her wrist and the length of her arm. When he finished and was about to move on to the other one, she pushed her wrist against his lips.

Damon knew what she was asking, but he hesitated for the fraction of a second. But then she wrapped her mouth around his lengths, making his eyes roll back and his mind disengage. His fangs came out and broke the skin of her wrist. He started to drink, and with every sip his world narrowed down and expanded again to focus on only one thing – Elena. Around him, touching him, her scent, her taste, her blood in his mouth. A whole micro cosmos, orbiting around her.

She came up to kiss him, gently pulling her wrist away, and he latched onto her mouth instead. While they kissed, Elena guided him inside, slowly starting to move. She moaned into his mouth; he felt so good inside her.

She pushed her upper body firmer against his, enjoying the friction of their skin moving against each other. It was enough to keep her on the precipice but not tumble over. She wasn’t in a hurry to come.

They continued kissing forever, lost in each other. Elena pushed her hair out of the way, letting it spill over a shoulder and his chest and arm as her lips moved to his neck. She bit into his artery, starting to drink. His hips snapped up in response but he quickly controlled himself – it was her show.

She stopped drinking, cleaned his neck with her tongue, and went back to kissing him, more insistent this time. Never breaking the kiss, Elena slipped a hand between their bodies, touching herself, but Damon took over the task, going agonizingly slow at first until Elena rose up, palms on Damon’s chest for leverage. Damon gasped and tried to hold back, but it was impossible. He slammed head-first into an orgasm, coming inside her and spilled himself, and spilled, and spilled.

She stopped moving while he unloaded inside of her, but once he was spent, she took up her movements again. His thumb moved insistently over her sensitive spot while she moved up and down, faster now. He was still hard from her blood; his seed spilling out of her making things slippery, and messy, and glorious. Elena wanted to come – it was one of those times where she knew it would be almost too intense to bear, and she wanted and dreaded it at the same time.

Like a rollercoaster climbing higher and higher, she had no choice but to surrender. Her body spasmed and she threw her head back, riding out the waves and being pulled under with the current. The next time she opened her eyes, she was slumped over Damon’s stretched out form.

“You all right?” Damon asked, thumb stroking along her temple.

Elena nodded, still dazed, and tried to lift up.

“You blacked out there for a moment,” Damon explained.

“I did? Oh,” she said, remembering. “Yeah. It was… intense.”

She let him slip from her body and rolled onto her back to lie beside him. He followed her and started kissing her body while she gathered her strength.

Eventually, he asked, “Tired yet?”

Elena smiled lazily. “Tired – yes. Sleepy – no.”

***

Damon did eventually fall asleep when the sky had already started to brighten. Unfortunately, Elena had to get up and go back to Whitmore. She crawled out of bed and stood under the shower spray on still wobbly legs. Her whole body prickled deliciously but Elena didn’t think it had to do with the water temperature.

Without a conscious effort on her part, Elena’s hand crept down her body to touch herself. She played across all her sensitive spots but it didn’t give her the same pleasure as when Damon did it. He knew her body and could easily locate that one spot inside her that made her feel like she was having two orgasms at once. But no matter how much Elena tried, she just couldn’t reach it.

She thought about calling out for Damon. He probably wouldn’t mind the wakeup call. But she felt ridiculous doing that, after the night they just had.

Adjusting the angle of her fingers, she involuntarily released a gasp, “Damon—” It came out louder that she had intended.

A second later the man in question stepped into the bathroom, looking rumpled and gorgeous, and unbearably sexy. For a moment, he watched her through the clear glass of the shower stall, head tilted sideways.

Elena huffed in frustration and gave up, imploring Damon with her eyes to do something.

His lips spread in a relaxed grin as he stepped into the shower with her. “You were touching yourself when I’m just a few feet away?” he asked, accusingly.

Elena shrugged and leaned against the tiled wall.

“Show me,” he told her.

Her palm slid down her stomach once again, and lower, slipping two fingers inside her hot channel, still frustratingly unsatisfying. Damon’s fingers joined her own, unerringly finding the soft tissue inside that made her body jerk. She sighed against his mouth, giving herself over to the sensations.

“Is that the blood?” she asked between breaths, referring to the constant want under her skin.

Damon rubbed his erection against her hip while taking Elena’s body higher and higher with his hands. “Remember the parent-teacher conference last year? My blood was still inside you. You were so horny; you couldn’t think straight.”

“I don’t remember,” Elena gasped.

“I’ll tell you later,” Damon promised.

His fingers pushed deeper while the knuckle of his thumb was exerting pressure from the outside. Elena lifted up on tiptoes to escape the delicious torture but Damon was relentless until she screamed her release into his shoulder.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to post this chapter before finishing the next one as they kind of go together. But I still need to add two more scenes to the next chapter before I can post it. I'll have it ready later today. Check in again in a few hours or so.  
> Also, this is another very smutty chapter. Beware.

“We’ll be landing in 20 minutes, Mr. Salvatore,” the stewardess on the private charter flight let Damon know, keeping her voice low so as not to wake Elena who had dozed off on his shoulder. Being the ever-efficient help, she added, “I took the liberty of letting your driver know. He’ll be there to pick you up.”

“Thank you, Nicole,” Damon replied with a smile and a glance at her nametag.

As she disappeared behind the door marked ‘crew only’, Damon sat up slightly, careful not to jostle Elena. Her back was leaning against his shoulder, legs up on the loveseat across from them. He tightened the arm that was slung around her middle and let his lips graze her temple.

“We’re almost there,” he whispered.

She stirred and opened her eyes. Damon watched her as she slowly took in her surroundings and remembered where she was. He watched as she lowered her legs to the floor – barefoot – and as she stretched to reach the shoes that she had removed after they had taken off in the air. Damon had been watching her the whole day. He couldn’t not. She was a vision. She always was, but the red strapless mermaid dress did something to him that he couldn’t explain. She wore simple yet elegant makeup and had chosen to wear her hair loose, falling over one shoulder in beautiful waves. She looked radiant and regal, even now – worn out after an eventful day.

She strapped the ridiculously high heels back on her feet and sat down next to him again, cuddling up to his side once more. “Thank you for today,” she said, not for the first time. “It was amazing.” Her hand moved to his thigh and she squeezed lightly.

“I’m glad you had fun,” Damon replied and met her lips half-way in a brief kiss.

He wanted to give her a birthday that she wouldn’t forget and hoped he managed to deliver. They had gone to Atlantic City in a private jet, watched the matinee performance of a musical show that Elena had been talking about non-stop from VIP seats, and spent the evening in high-end casinos before he took her to dinner in one of the most expensive restaurants with one of the most beautiful views of the ocean. They had topped the night off with drinks and a dance in an upscale cocktail bar.

When they had boarded the plane that would take them back, Elena was exhausted but she was smiling the smile that Damon loved on her best – carefree and happily content that only deepened whenever their eyes met. As the plane approached the landing airstrip, she was already awake and refreshed from her nap.

They landed on the private airfield outside Lynchburg and as advertised, the limo was waiting for them to take them home. As they got comfortable in the backseat of the car, Damon brushed his lips against Elena’s ear. “Have I told you already how beautiful you are?”

Elena laughed. “Only about three dozen times or so.”

“Well, that won’t do,” Damon scoffed, clearly of the opinion that it wasn’t nearly often enough. He kissed her naked shoulder. “You’re a goddess.”

Elena looked at him, all heated stares and licking her lips as if looking at a particularly tasty dessert – which, to be fair, was not that far off reality. “God, I want you,” she breathed. But the dress was practically molded to her figure – no chance to push it down or ruck it up. There was no way for Damon to get to her fun parts without taking it off completely.

Reading his thoughts, she said, “No, you’re not taking this dress off of me here in the car. I’m not wearing anything underneath.”

Damon growled and threw his head against the backrest. “I so did not need this visual,” he groaned. “I should have gone with my second idea for your special day.” He wrapped an arm around her middle and pulled her closer into his side.

“Which was?”

“It was either Atlantic City or chain you to my bed and make you come all day.”

Elena had been drawing patterns on his chest with one finger, a little distracted, but following his comment she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him in, lips crashing onto his. For a couple minutes they devoured each other before Damon pulled himself forcefully away. Elena’s robe was not going to survive the ride if they continued in the same manner.

“How long until we’re home?” Elena asked, chest heaving with every breath.

Damon checked with the driver while Elena stroked his leg in what was supposed to be a calming manner, but the tensed muscles under her palm told her how much control he was exerting to keep his cool. Playing with fire, Elena let her hand travel up and palmed his very hard erection, giving it a light squeeze.

Damon’s head swiveled towards her and he bit her shoulder lightly, not breaking the skin but a clear warning nonetheless. “Careful,” he said, “or you’ll pay for it later.”

“Can’t wait,” Elena replied.

***

As soon as the door of the mansion closed behind them, Elena was on Damon. She pushed against the closest wall and pressed her body against his, drinking his desperation from his lips. She wanted to wrap a leg around his hips, but the cut of the dress wouldn’t allow it. She growled in frustration and pushed away from Damon to finally get rid of the gown. But then she got distracted by the peek of flesh at Damon’s throat. She didn’t remember when or how he had lost his bow tie or what happened to the top buttons on Damon’s dress shirt.

She latched onto the hollow of his throat and, miscalculating her strength in her blind haze of desire, they both hit the opposite wall of the den. After some more pushing and pulling – on clothes and on each other – they somehow ended up on the balcony of the library. Elena ripped her lips away from Damon and turned around, presenting him her back.

“Unzip,” she commanded, clutching the wood banister with both hands for support.

Damon, momentarily distracted by her naked back that had teased him all evening thanks to the cut of the gown, eventually found the tab and pulled. The dress gaped open and pooled around Elena’s feet. She hadn’t been lying; she really was completely naked underneath. Damon encouraged her to turn around and was almost brought to his knees by her sheer beauty. She stepped out of the dress and he noticed that she was still wearing the red satin pumps which made her already long legs seem endless. Damon might have possibly salivated a little looking her up and down. She was about to kick off her high heels when she noticed the expression on her boyfriend’s face.

Elena rolled her eyes, but smiled. “You’re such a cliché. Don’t tell me you’ve got a thing for women in stilettos. How ever did you manage to keep your hands off of Katherine?” she joked.

Damon leaned in and, under the pretense of stealing a kiss, bit her none too gently on her bottom lip. “I never loved her the way I love you,” he said. “Never wanted her the way I want you.” He kissed Elena long and hard. “Also,” he added, “don’t bring up the she-devil when I’m about to make love to you.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Elena teased.

Damon stepped closer and into her space until she was forced to wrap her arms around his neck or topple over the banister. With an arm around her middle, he hoisted her up and she slung her legs around his hips. He sped them to the large leather sofa and lowered Elena onto her back.

Never letting go of him, she fumbled for the fly on his slacks while Damon’s palms slid down the length of her legs and slipped off the shoes. Elena raised an eyebrow. By the molten looks he was giving her earlier she’d assumed that he would prefer she keep her heels on. As if reading the question in her eyes, Damon answered, “The shoes do nothing for me. It’s you, Elena. God, you’ve no idea what a look from you does to me, do you? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

With that, he slipped through the circle of her arms and down to her heated center. He placed one of her legs over the back of the sofa and without further ado buried his tongue in her wetness. One hand in Damon’s hair, Elena pushed his face closer and rubbed herself against him, hips working up and down. He let her use his mouth as if it were her favorite sex toy until he felt tiny tremors start in her thighs.

He lifted up a little to ask, “You want to come like this?” He was not at all opposed to make her come with his mouth, if that was what she wanted. In fact, he went right back to pleasuring her.

Elena, coming out of her sex-haze, pulled on his hair gently to lift him away. “No. Inside me. Want you inside me.”

With a final swipe up her inner folds, Damon kissed his way up her body until he could sink into her hot mouth. His tongue playing with hers, he lined up his cock with her opening and slowly pushed his length inside of her. Elena moaned appreciatively against his lips and let her hands wander all over his back, following the muscles as they strained with each of his thrusts. When she reached his ass, she grabbed him with both hands and pushed him firmer against her hips. “Deeper,” she moaned.

Damon adjusted his position and rose up on his knees slightly to better penetrate her.

“Damon,” Elena whimpered, “more.”

After another powerful thrust, Damon slipped out of her, prompting Elena to protest. But he simply stood up from the sofa and reached for her hand to pull her into a kneeling position. Turning her around and facing away from him, he pushed her upper body against the backrest cushions and knelt behind her. Using his knees to push hers further apart, he plastered his front to her back and pushed back into her hot channel.

After a few experimental thrusts, he found the perfect angle and impaled her on his rigid cock, sliding deeper than before. “Better?” he breathed into her ear before repeating the motion.

Elena tried to answer, but even as her mouth opened to reply, she found she had no air left in her lungs to do so. She could feel him so deep inside her, her eyes were rolling back in ecstasy at his every push. And then he did it again, and again, and Elena was left gasping helplessly.

Damon paused, cock buried deep within her. “Still with me?” he asked a wrecked Elena.

“Don’t stop,” she managed to rasp out. “Perfect. It’s perfect. You’re perfect,” she babbled. “Keep going.”

Damon picked up where he stopped and Elena’s head dropped forward, her whole body shaking every time Damon touched that special spot deep within her, but everything else whiting out. God, how did he always know how to give her exactly what she wanted? She wasn’t even capable of making a sound, too focused on the electric feelings running through her. She fisted the sofa cushions and let Damon’s hold on her shoulder control the force of his movements.

Damon’s skin burned like fire and with the working part of his brain he noticed that he was still wearing his suit, undone pants hanging low on his upper thighs but otherwise he was still completely dressed. He removed his jacket, never slowing his thrusts and threw it next to them on the sofa as he continued to pound into Elena.

They were both so distracted that neither heard that they weren’t alone in the house anymore.

“Oh my god,” Stefan’s voice exclaimed. “Oh, sh… I’m… Oh god. Sorry.”

Damon’s and Elena’s heads both shot to the left where Stefan was standing in the open entryway, eyes screwed tightly shut and mouth opening and closing, but not finding any words to say.

Even though all Stefan could have seen from his vantage point was their profiles, Damon quickly pulled Elena into his chest while at the same time snapping up his previously discarded jacket, covering Elena’s exposed front, ridiculously grateful all of a sudden that he was still fully dressed and able to shield Elena from view.

“I’m—” Stefan stammered.

Growling at his brother, Damon hissed, “Leave.”

“Right,” Stefan said, clearly glad to be ordered to go away. His hand came up to cover his already closed eyes and he turned sideways as he made his retreat, peeking with one eye so as not to stumble over furniture on his way out. “Happy birthday, Elena,” he called out on his way out and if Damon wasn’t completely mistaken, he heard a chuckle in his voice. Damn his idiot brother and his less than stellar timing. And the things he found funny.

Elena removed the jacket Damon had thrown around her to cover her modesty and buried her face in both palms, mortified. Damon grimaced; he didn’t want to think about what Stefan might or might not have caught. He rubbed her upper arms in a comforting manner then slipped his hands to her hips. Holding Elena steady, he slowly made to pull out.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Elena stopped him, quickly dropping her hands and turning her upper body slightly to look at him.

“Don’t you want to… I don’t know… Move this upstairs maybe?” Damon replied weakly.

“I refuse to let my birthday end on such an embarrassing note,” Elena gave back.

Damon held up his wrist to check the time. “Technically, it’s not your birthday anymore.”

“If you stop now, the best night of my life will forever be ruined by the absolutely worst and most mortifying experience of my life.”

Damon reared back a little in surprise. His head tilted to the side, he looked at Elena.

“What?” she asked.

Damon shrugged one-shouldered. “Your brother caught us in the kitchen with barely a stitch on. Caroline has walked in on us in your dorm room and this house more times than I can count and on more occasions than I care to remember. Matt and Liz both caught us in my car on two separate occasions. Ric…”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Elena almost yelled, “I get it. You don’t have to remind me!”

“My point is, Elena. Almost all of our friends and extended family have walked in on us at one point or another. Why is this more mortifying than any of those other times?”

“It just is,” Elena returned and moved a little in hopes to make Damon pick up his pace from before, but unfortunately no such luck.

“Because it was Stefan?” Damon asked, apparently insistent on talking it out right this minute.

“Damon! Seriously?” she asked. “You want to discuss this right now?”

“I don’t want to discuss this at all!” he exclaimed.

“Great,” Elena replied. “So move then.”

But Damon remained stubborn and Elena wanted to get back to celebrating her birthday. She meant what she’d said to Damon earlier – she refused to let it end on such a low note. But she knew to pick her battles and that the only thing that would make him let go and return to previously scheduled activities would be the truth.

“I had sex with Stefan, Damon.”

“I know,” Damon returned, trying not to sound bitter about it.

“Let me finish!”

Damon mimicked zipping his lips.

“It was never like this between him and me. With you and me – it’s… It’s more than just sex. It always is. Even when it’s fast and urgent and oh, god, so good – there’s always a connection there that makes it… well, more.”

She fell silent, staring at him and looking almost embarrassed. Damon kissed her brow in silent agreement and dawning understanding.

“I already broke his heart. I don’t need to rub his nose in it, too.” She sank her fingers into Damon’s hair and pulled him in for a kiss. “Although, we do need to have a discussion about locking doors or something. I think I forgot how often we scarred our friends. But maybe this can be a discussion for another day. One where your dick is not still inside me. Right now, all I want is to have sex with my boyfriend to make this day perfect. My birthday wouldn’t be complete without it.”

“What are you talking about?” Damon exclaimed. “We had sex in the shower before you got ready.”

“That was rushed and doesn’t count.”

“You came twice.”

Elena took a deep breath. “Damon. I want you to take a step back and realize that this is twice now where I asked you to fuck me and you instead chose to debate with me!” Her voice rose an octave towards hysteria at the end.

Damon grabbed the base of his cock and pulled out despite Elena’s protests.

“I meant a metaphorical step back, not a literal one,” she complained as she turned around and plopped down on the sofa.

Without another word, Damon climbed behind her, wedging himself between Elena and the sofa cushions and pulled Elena into his lap, encouraging her to straddle his thighs. Kissing a line down her spine he pushed her slowly down on his still erect member. Elena sighed as she was filled again. Damon’s hands snaked to her front and caressed up and down the inside of her thighs, the slow caress of his hands in total contrast with the increasingly rapid thrusts. It only took moments until Elena forgot the argument from a few minutes ago. She spread her legs as far as they would go as she kneeled above Damon to take him even deeper and he quickened the pace even more.

She keened, grateful that he could read her intentions so well. His fingertips brushed across her pulsing center and retreated again and Elena was about to grab his wrist to pull his fingers where she wanted them. But Damon snapped both her wrists in one of his hands and held them fast, pressed to her chest, while his free hand returned to tease her. Incapacitated like that, Elena surrendered to Damon completely and let him take her to the kinds of highs that only Damon knew how to reach.


	22. Chapter 22

Since Damon had kidnapped Elena for her actual birthday – a fact that Caroline would still regularly grumble over – Elena’s post-birthday-party party happened to coincide with the end of the summer term and beginning of summer break. Caroline had gone ahead and not only rented out the entire Skull Bar for what she called a birthday party of epic proportions, but turning it into a club for one night as well.

Secretly, Elena thought nothing could ever top her actual birthday celebrations where Damon had gone all out to ensure she had the most memorable day ever, but she wasn’t about to say that aloud within earshot of Caroline. Besides, Elena was in a partying mood. The semester was officially over, she had done okay on her exams, even though she could have done better. But she gave herself a pass. The last 8 months had been crazy, to say the least. The fact that she’d managed to survive it all and keep her grades at a somewhat desirable level was a feat in and all of itself. She’d do better next term, she vowed.

For now though, all thoughts of school were shelved as she got ready for the belated birthday celebrations. Damon would be there to pick her up any minute. Elena reached for some comfy heels from the back of her closet and, completing the outfit, gave herself a once over. She had chosen to wear a simple gold-colored dress that came down to mid-thigh. It was a little bit sparkly and would be perfect for tonight.

Damon knocked on the door of her dorm room just as she was finishing doing her hair, choosing to wear it straight for tonight.

“Come in,” she called.

Damon walked in and stopped midway. “You look hot.”

She turned to him with a smile. “Thank you.”

Reaching into his pocket, Damon produced a rectangular black box and held it out towards Elena. She took it with a frown. Motioning impatiently to the box, he told her without words to open it. She did.

Inside there was a very simple gold chain with an arch pendant, inlaid with some sparkly stones. “What’s that?” Elena breathed, gently touching the beautiful necklace.

“What’s it look like?”

“But why?”

Damon took a step closer and took the necklace from her. “Isn’t it customary to receive presents on one’s birthday?” he replied and turned Elena around to face the mirror.

“Yes,” she answered, lifting her hair so Damon could fasten the necklace on her neck. She hadn’t put on any accessories yet, intending to keep it mostly casual. “But my birthday was a week ago and also, you already gave me a present.”

“The trip to Atlantic City?” Damon asked. “No, that was for me. Sorry, were you under the impression that I did that for you?” He smirked.

“Damon!” Elena laughed and rolled her eyes. He touched the pendant on her neck. Not only was it beautiful but it completed her outfit perfectly. “It’s too much,” she protested.

“There’s no such thing,” Damon replied. He let his eyes wander up and down her body in the mirror and Elena turned around to wind her arms around his neck.

“At least tell me those stones are not real.”

“Okay,” Damon easily agreed, “they’re not real.”

Elena shook her head at him. “Liar.”

“Just be glad I didn’t buy you a car,” Damon commented.

Since she sent her car to Jeremy, she hadn’t gotten around to buying a new one and was making do by either borrowing Caroline’s or Damon’s.

“You are not buying me a car, Damon!” she cautioned him. “Not for this birthday or any other, got it?”

Damon nodded. “Got it. But I swear to god, if you don’t get a car soon, your Christmas present will be a bitch to fit under the tree.”

“Or Christmas!” Elena hurried to add. “You’re not buying me a car for Christmas either. Promise!”

“Too late.”

“What do you mean too late?”

“I mean, we already made a deal concerning no cars as birthday presents. I agreed to said deal. You can’t go and change the rules or add stipulations afterwards.”

“Damon.”

He ignored her and walked to the door, pulling her with him by the hand. She pulled on his arm to hold him back.

“Thank you,” she said, stepping into his embrace. She touched the necklace. “I love it.”

***

They paused before entering the bar; the party inside seemingly in full swing, the sound of partying guests spilling into the street.

“Wait,” Damon said, holding her back. “In case I don’t get to do that later.” He leaned in and touched her lips with his. Elena released a small content sigh at the contact which made Damon pull her closer. Her hands slipped into his hair just as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Something in her belly swooped happily and she pulled back from the kiss but still clung to Damon.

Mouth pressed to his ear, she breathed, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He kissed her neck and took a step back, breaking the embrace. “Don’t fill up your dance card too much, alright?”

“Don’t worry,” she replied. “I got you penciled in for every other dance.”

“Only every other?” he complained as he held the door open for her.

The minute they stepped inside, Elena was enveloped by a swarm of partygoers. They were pulling her in all kinds of different directions and, most regrettably, away from Damon. She tried to hold onto his hand but he gave her a gentle squeeze and let her be pulled away into the melee.

Damon spotted Stefan at the bar and beelined towards him. “What did Caroline threaten you with to make you come here?” he asked his brother while waving the bartender over.

“Nothing,” Stefan replied. “She still refuses to talk to me.”

“Ohh,” Damon drawled. “So, that’s why you’re here.” Damon nodded in understanding. “I say wait till she’s got a few drinks in her and then make her talk to you.”

Stefan shrugged, desperate enough at that point that he even considered taking his brother’s advice.

“Apropos drinks,” Damon remembered. He caught the attention of the bartender and pulled him in when he was close enough, staring into his eyes, making sure he got his focus. “See our birthday girl over there?” Damon asked and the bartender nodded slowly as he was being compelled. “She likes fruity cocktails. Make sure she’s got one at all times. Oh, and get her a glass of water every time you bring her a fresh drink. Understood?” He let the guy go and noted with satisfaction that he immediately got busy preparing a drink for Elena.

Stefan watched with a shake of his head. He thought about making a joke about Damon being completely whipped, but then he caught sight of Caroline and decided to shut up. He didn’t have a ground to stand on.

***

The evening turned into night and Damon begrudgingly had to give it to Caroline. She did know how to throw a memorable party. There were games – a blind tasting of alcoholic beverages, the mandatory beer pong – except, Caroline’s version was played with pink champagne, a round of dirty ‘never have I ever’, Jell-O shots, and plenty more. People were definitely having fun but most importantly Elena was having the time of her life and that was all Damon cared about.

When he first spotted Liam among the partying crowd, he couldn’t help but follow him with his eyes, despite knowing that neither was Elena interested in the guy, nor was he real competition. It wasn’t even that Damon was jealous; he simply didn’t like the walking, talking reminder of how close he got to losing the love of his life. But he needn’t have bothered. Elena made sure to check in with Damon regularly. She pulled him over to her circle of study buddies, introducing everyone, forced him to play a party version of truth or dare with her friends, and demanded to dance with him whenever she felt woozy from all the alcohol. They would hit the dance floor until her head felt clear again and she could resume the fun games; at which point the circle began anew.

“You haven’t told her,” Bonnie said, sidling up to Damon as he sat in a far corner, watching Elena and her friends bend over and clutch at each other, laughing about something.

Damon didn’t bother to pretend like he didn’t know what she was talking about. “No, I have not,” he said, morosely.

Bonnie nodded. She really didn’t have much to add to that.

“I’m not being selfish.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

Still, Damon felt the need to explain himself. “I wanted to tell her. But she was already so frayed because of the finals. And then once that was over, her birthday was coming up. I didn’t want to put this on her shoulders. I wanted her to enjoy turning 21 without the burden of facing a life-altering decision.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Damon. I told you – it’s up to you. I’m not getting involved.”

“Except I’m doing it all wrong. I’m using the same reasoning my brother did; making the same excuses.”

“What do you mean?”

“When he kept things from her, when he didn’t tell her shit – it was always for her own good. Because he knew better, because he wanted to protect her. I vowed I wouldn’t do the same mistakes. But I am. God, I’m an idiot. Tell me I’m an idiot.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know,” Damon cried. “I should have told her the same night you gave it to me. Now I’ve made it worse.”

Bonnie didn’t have anything to reply to that. She took a pull from her beer, staying quiet.

“It’s your fault, you know?” Damon exploded next to her. “I’m going to lock this damn thing away and forget it ever existed, just so you can share the burden of keeping it secret from Elena.”

Bonnie nodded, indulging his rant. Sometimes, you just needed to let Damon spent himself. She had learned that the hard way back in 1994. “Are you done?” she asked instead, regarding him calmly.

“Yes.”

“You’ll tell her when it’s time.” And that was that.

Damon glanced at her sideways and turned his hand that was resting on the table between them palm up. She smiled at him and placed her hand in his, both squeezing gently before letting go and sharing a smile.

“Why are you sitting here all alone while your girlfriend is over there?” Bonnie asked eventually.

“Needed a break. There’s only so much drunk tweens I can take before I want to compel them all to volunteer their jugular.”

“Elena looks happy,” Bonnie commented with a smile.

Damon nodded. “She does. She is.” He watched Elena from across the room. Her head was thrown back, she was laughing so hard at something. Damon wanted to go over there and steal her away from her friends. He glanced at his drink. Once he finished it, he was going to do just that.

In the meantime… “Are you?” he asked Bonnie.

“What?”

“Happy. Are you happy?”

“Sure,” Bonnie replied. “Nobody wants to kill me right now, at least last I checked. I have my friends. I am back among the living. Yes. I’m happy.”

“I mean,” Damon implored, “where is Little Gilbert? Why is he not here to escort you to this shindig of the year?”

Bonnie looked down at her hands. “I… I’m… It’s…” She looked up at Damon and huffed a laugh. “We talked. On the phone. I asked him not to come back, at least not for me. I don’t think there’s a future for us.”

Damon raised both eyebrows but didn’t comment. Instead, he said, “Great. Now that we have Kai stashed in another prison world and Lily has been quiet for a while, maybe it’s time we find a Mr Bon-Bon.”

Bonnie groaned. “No, Damon. You are not playing matchmaker.”

“Come on,” he cajoled. “Take a look around. Pick someone. Anyone. If he turns out to be immune to your natural charms, I’ll just compel him to love and adore you forever.”

“Don’t you dare! Leave it be, Damon, I’m serious.”

“Booh.” Damon pouted. “You’re no fun. Glad that hasn’t changed.”

Bonnie reached out to slap his chest but he caught her hand and pulled her up in one motion. “At least dance with me,” he said, not giving her the option to say no. He pulled her to the dance floor where he twirled and dipped her to the fast-paced beat until she was dizzy.

Laughing and breathless she eventually told him, “Go bother your own girlfriend. I’m a mere human and I can’t keep up with you.”

Instead of leaving Bonnie, Damon’s eyes scanned the room and made contact with Enzo. Wordlessly, he motioned his friend closer and in a practiced move handed her over for the next dance while he himself went to follow Bonnie’s advice and find his girlfriend.

“Are you having fun?” he whispered in Elena’s ear, sidling up next to her as she stood in a circle of friends whom Damon didn’t know by name but had probably met before. Most likely he hadn’t been paying attention when Elena introduced him to her college friends.

“Yes,” she replied.

“Need a drink?”

“Nope, I’m good,” she replied, holding up the half-full glass of water.

“Then dance with me,” he said and took her drink, placing it on a nearby table. He pulled her away, throwing an apologetic-but-not-really smile at her fellow student friends.

“Why is there glitter on your face?” Damon asked, fingers trying to smudge a spot of it on her cheekbone.

“Caroline made popcorn with glitter,” Elena replied which didn’t answer Damon’s question at all. “It was a fun game.”

“Did you win or lose?” Damon almost yelled over the volume of the music.

Elena scrunched up her face. “I don’t know. But I liked it.”

Damon laughed. “I keep telling her real vampires don’t sparkle. But she just had to prove me wrong, huh?”

The music changed to some electronic track and Elena stepped closer into Damon’s space. With both arms around the other one’s neck, they smoothly moved into a sensual dance.

***

_For the first time in her admittedly short life as a vampire, Elena felt free. Unburdened. She could do this. Being a vampire didn’t have to mean doom and gloom and living with a guilty conscience. She didn’t need to feel hungry all the time and neither did she need to kill people. She could feed and not hurt anyone. For the first time, she felt the heavy shroud lift. Elated, she grinned at Damon._

_He swayed closer and her arms came up to naturally wrap around his neck, both their bodies moving to the beat. He looked so damn hot, all sweaty and happy, high on life and blood. Elena closed her eyes as they continued to sway to the music and let herself just feel. When he lifted their arms above their heads, Elena’s eyes dropped to his lips for the briefest of moments and want surged through her like hot lava._

***

With a start, Elena’s eyes shot open, coming back to the present. It only took her a second to orient herself. She was still on the dance floor, Damon’s arms still around her, though the track playing on the dancefloor was a different one than in her memory. But the same undeniable want surged through her veins. The difference was, she could allow herself to act on it now.

“Tell me,” Damon mouthed, sound swallowed by the loud beat.

Familiar with the process by now, he had probably realized what was happening before the memory finished playing before Elena’s inner eye. She opened her mouth to let Damon know what she had remembered when Matt cut in.

“Is there a chance to dance with the birthday girl? I’ve been trying all night.”

Before Damon could deny him the wish, Elena cried out, happy to see her friend, “Matt!” She nodded quickly. “Absolutely. Of course, I’ll dance with you.”

Damon grumbled something unintelligible but Elena ignored him as she laughed. He had no choice but to gallantly twirl her over into Matt’s arms. He did however leave him with a warning, “I expect her to be returned in the same condition I’m handing her over. Buzzed, happy, and sparkly.”

Matt laughed nervously and promised to do his best.

“You two look chummy together,” Matt commented as he took Elena in his arms.

Elena’s eyes slid to Damon. He had gone back to the bar and had her back to them. “Yeah,” she could only say because there really wasn’t much to add to that.

“I’m glad you two managed to work things out again.”

“You are?” Elena asked, surprised.

“Sure. If only because he’s insufferable when you’re not together,” Matt replied, attempting to lead her into a twirl but not being the accomplished dancer that Damon was, only managing to step on Elena’s foot. “Oops, sorry.”

Elena laughed it away. “Don’t worry about it. Is that the only reason?” she wondered, not willing to lose the thread of their conversation.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you’re better when you’re with him, too.”

“Am I?”

“You seem lighter somehow. You laugh more when you’re with him. I guess I’m not really surprised. After you told me how Damon makes you feel, I always suspected you would eventually end up with him.”

“We talked about it?” Up until now, Elena had been under the impression that she had always kept her feelings about Damon to herself.

“Uhm, yeah.” He paused, then it dawned on him. “Is that one of the things Alaric compelled away?”

Elena nodded. “Must be.” For a little while, they were quiet as they swayed to the beat. “Matt, what exactly did I tell you?”

Matt quickly recounted their talk from the evening before everything had gone to hell. “Basically,” Matt concluded, “he had gotten under your skin and that you couldn’t shake him; that when you’re with him, he consumes you. The night before the accident, when you asked me to drive you back to Stefan, I honestly didn’t get it. But I guess you needed to feel safe after all the turmoil.”

Elena chuckled. “Damon is many things, but I don’t think safe is the one that people would use to describe him.”

“Dangerous comes to mind,” Matt suggested.

“Impulsive.”

“Takes unnecessary risks,” Matt continued to list, “gambles with other people’s lives.”

“Throws himself completely into his convictions, loves recklessly, is not afraid to be wrong,” Elena countered with some more.

“You got it bad,” Matt laughed at her. “There’s no going back for you, huh?”

Elena huffed a laugh. “He’s my forever.”

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Matt said, “but I should probably let you go now.”

“Huh?” Elena wondered why. They had only been dancing for a few minutes.

With a side glance to the bar where Damon was drinking, Matt replied, “Your boyfriend keeps throwing murderous looks at me, Elena.”

Elena spun them around to check for herself and laughed out loud. “I’m afraid that’s entirely my fault. I had just remembered something but didn’t get to tell him before you came over. It’s okay. He’ll survive.”

“You got your memories back?” Matt asked, eyes bugging in surprise.

“Not everything. But things have been steadily coming back for a while now.” At Matt’s perplexed stare, Elena said, “You didn’t know?”

Matt shook his head.

“I’m so sorry, Matt. I should have said something. God, I’m a terrible friend. I was a terrible girlfriend and now I’m an even worse friend.”

“Hey, Elena. Elena,” he said again when she wasn’t listening. “It’s okay. To be fair, we haven’t really hung out much lately.”

“That’s also my fault,” Elena said. “I’ll catch you up on everything, promise. We’ll talk.”

“It might take a while. Got any plans for summer?” Matt asked.

“I’m moving back into Damon’s place for the summer break, so no excuses.”

“Looking forward to it.”

***

Elena slipped into the bathroom after finishing her dance with Matt. She was hot and sweaty and desperately needed to freshen up. While splashing some cool water onto her face, the door opened and Jules, one of Elena’s biology lab partners, stepped inside. Elena smiled at her in the mirror.

“Elena,” Jules exclaimed. “Have I wished you a happy birthday already?”

Elena laughed. “You have.”

“Okay, good. That’s good.” Jules nodded.

“Are you drunk?” Elena asked with a critical gaze.

“No,” Jules waved her worries away. “Just buzzed enough to not care about making a fool of myself on the dance floor. Oh, by the way, your boyfriend’s freaking hot.”

Elena laughed at that and Jules added, “Where can I find one of those?”

Elena, caught off guard, didn’t know what to respond to that and settled on, “He’s sort of one of a kind.”

“Well, you’re lucky,” Jules continued while refreshing her make-up. “Consider me and all the other girls jealous. Does he have a brother?”

“I think Caroline has dibs on his brother,” Elena replied with a smile, thinking of her two friends who were still traipsing around each other, neither willing to make the first move.

“Ooh,” Jules pulled a face, having met Caroline several times. “I don’t want to cross that.”

Elena thought it was a wise choice. “Better you don’t.”

“What about a cousin? Nephew? Distant uncle? I’m not picky.”

“None that I know of.”

“Honestly,” Jules mused, “by now I’d settle for a guy who can hold a conversation without his eyes checking out the rest of the room for better prospects. Guys are pigs. Not yours, though. Sorry,” she quickly amended. “He’s only got eyes for you. Have I mentioned how lucky you are?” Jules hiccupped. “Oops. Maybe I am a little drunk.”

Elena took her arm. “Maybe we’ll go get you a water, huh?”

After making sure Jules was taken care of, Elena went to find Damon. He wasn’t at the bar anymore, but she quickly spotted him off to one side, standing in a small circle with Stefan and Alaric.

She snuck up on him from behind and wound her arms around his middle, hooking her chin over his shoulder, thanks to her heels.

“Hey,” he greeted her, turning his head and kissing her temple, “everything okay?”

“Yep,” Elena replied. “Don’t mind me. Whatever you were talking about, carry on.” She really just wanted to be close to Damon.

Stefan and Ric exchanged a look and excused themselves a moment later. Elena frowned. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Damon pulled her around for a real embrace and she melted into his hold. “Wasn’t important.” He studied her face. “Want to go home?”

Elena relaxed further into his arms and nodded, releasing a huge yawn. “I am beat.”

***

As they were approaching her dorm, Elena said, “Thank you for the best birthday ever.”

Damon chuckled. “That was all Caroline. I had nothing to do with it.”

“I didn’t mean tonight,” Elena replied.

Damon stopped and gazed at her face. He leaned in for a tender kiss. “You’re welcome.”

They pulled away from each other and continued walking, making slow progress. Elena was so tired, her legs buckled when she took the first flight of stairs. Damon caught her and unceremoniously swung her into his arms. He carried her up and Elena snuggled into his chest, closing her eyes.

Suddenly, she remembered the memory she had recovered earlier tonight. “It was you. You taught me how to feed, how not to hurt people.” Her eyes closed again, mind drifting off. She blamed the next thought on her exhausted state. Feeling sluggish and heavy, comfortable in the way just before sleep overcame, she wondered, was there any part of her that wasn’t completely infused with Damon? She smiled at the thought. Even if she never remembered anything else, there was a comforting peace in the knowledge that he was so intricately woven into every part of her life.

“Oh, you remembered the frat party.”

“I did. It came back when we were dancing earlier.” Elena was quiet for a second, going back to the memory. “I thought you were going to kiss me.”

“I wanted to,” Damon admitted, remembering.

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I couldn’t’ve stopped myself from kissing you back.”

“Now I get to kiss you whenever I want.” With that, Damon lowered her on her bed and pressed his lips to her forehead.

She hadn’t even noticed that they had made it up to her room. Even as her eyes closed again, she mumbled, “You’re not leaving, are you?”

“No,” he confirmed. “But you’ll be more comfortable if we take this off.”

She felt him slip her heels from her feet. Then her dress was being unzipped and he gently wrangled her uncooperating form out of it. And then the bliss of a warm duvet covering her. When his weight joined her on the mattress, Elena instinctively rolled towards him and let sleep claim her.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just did a quick calculation. I think we're looking at a total of 28 to 29 chapters, 30 at the very most. So, we're getting closer to the end now.

Elena turned over onto her back and sighed softly, staring at the ceiling. It was one of those typical southern nights that one immediately associated with hot, sultry summers when the heat hung heavy in the air and nothing seemed to move. They had left the balcony door open and the occasional gust of a breeze caused delicious pebbles across Elena’s heated skin. As beautiful and comfortable as the Salvatore boarding house was, it suffered from a serious lack of air conditioning.

Elena’s silky negligee had ridden up, revealing her lacy panties and a broad stripe of stomach, but she didn’t bother pulling it down, enjoying the licks of air on the exposed skin. The blankets were pooled at the foot of the bed where they had kicked them off before falling asleep.

“Can’t sleep?” Damon asked.

She turned his head towards him, careful not to move too much to not break a sweat. Damon was lying on his front, facing her. In contrast to Elena, he had chosen to sleep in the nude.

“It’s too hot to sleep,” Elena replied.

“Wanna have sex?” Damon asked, without having the slightest intention to move.

“Would I need to move for that?”

“Probably,” Damon replied. “Well, one of us would have to.”

“Then no. It’s too hot for sex.”

After a long silence where both of them just lay there listening to the sounds of the night, Elena suggested, “Let’s go for a ride.”

Damon raised his head slightly. “With the top down?”

“Naturally,” Elena answered.

They got up and quickly threw on some clothes – Damon just a t-shirt and jeans, going commando and Elena exchanged the negligee for a breezy and short summer dress, foregoing a bra. They made their way quietly through the house and out to Damon’s car where he pushed the button to release the top before they sped off into the night.

Without a destination in mind, they drove through the empty streets of Mystic Falls and out and beyond the town border where the only light was the almost full moon above. Talking about nothing in particular, they had been driving for over an hour when suddenly Elena yelled at Damon to stop.

“What?” Damon asked. “What is it?”

“Pull over, right now!”

As soon as he stopped, Elena got out of the car and ran out into the middle of the road, spreading her arms wide and spinning in a circle.

Damon slowly got out of the car and watched her with a wary expression, completely bewildered. “Are you… okay?”

Elena turned to him and smiled wide, waggling her eyebrows. When Damon’s only reaction was more of the same confused staring, she huffed out, “You don’t remember?”

Damon scrunched up his face in concentration and took in his surroundings. A smile slowly spread on his face. He walked towards Elena and took her in his arms. Thankfully, the heat and humidity of the night was more bearable out here in the woods, among the trees.

“This is where we met,” Elena murmured as she leaned into Damon’s chest.

“It is,” Damon confirmed, kissing the top of her head. For a while they just stood there, looking out into the night until Damon reached for Elena’s hand and laced their fingers together. Pulling her with him, they climbed on top of the hood of the car and leaned back against the windshield.

“Can you not leave me again, like ever?” Elena asked, in a wistful tone.

Damon frowned before answering, “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“No, I mean… Can you just be there to hold my hand. Like… literally all the time?”

Damon chuckled and pulled said hand to his lips for a kiss. “I’m sure your psych professor would have a field day with you.”

“Don’t care.” Elena pouted which Damon absolutely did not find adorable. At all.

“What’s with the sudden co-dependency?” he asked.

Elena paused for a long time before answering. “Jo is pregnant.”

“Oh. Uhmm,” he hummed, thinking of the appropriate response to the non-sequitur. “No. I got nothing.”

“When she told me,” Elena explained, “I… I saw eternity stretch out before me and it looked… bleak. I could see the world changing around me, it is already constantly changing and I… am not. It’s like I’m frozen in time. And it scares me. But being here with you, looking at the stars, I see the future – lifetimes upon lifetimes – and as long as I hold your hand, it’s not scary. You give it meaning. In this life that has no expiration date, you’re the _only_ thing that makes sense.”

Damon lay still as a statue, barely breathing, trying to take it all in. Elena tried for levity as she sensed his inner turmoil. “It could be cute, you know. You could go to classes with me, be there when I do my residency program, when I treat patients, when I babysit Alaric’s and Jo’s kid. Like my own personal shadow, only, you know, more corporeal.”

She smiled teasingly at him but Damon didn’t return the smile.

“I have the cure, Elena.”

Elena felt like the bottom had dropped out from beneath her. Her smile slipped and she pulled her hand from Damon’s, thousands of thoughts waring for dominance. She slid off the hood of the car and took a few steps back. Damon let her.

“How? How is it possible. It’s… it’s gone,” she stuttered.

“Bonnie brought it back from the 1994 world. Look, it doesn’t matter how. The point is I have it.”

“Bonnie brought it back?” She paused, thinking feverishly. She had so many questions racing through her head. Her mouth opened and closed; she couldn’t decide which thought to voice first. “But then…”

Damon dreaded her next question. He knew she would arrive at the only logical conclusion.

“How long have you had it?” And there it was.

“Weeks? A month. Maybe longer.”

“And you kept it to yourself.” Elena turned away to collect her thoughts. She pressed a hand to her mouth, afraid her emotions would overpower her. Did she want to yell, scream, reason with him, throw around accusations?

Damon wasn’t going to reply. There really was nothing he could have said to vindicate himself. He simply waited for her ire, knowing he deserved it. Elena was quiet for a long time. He lifted his head to look at her, but her gaze was far away, focused somewhere beyond the horizon.

“Why didn’t you just keep it to yourself,” she finally spoke, turning back around to face him.

Damon wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear it, she had spoken so quietly. He frowned. “What?”

“I wish you’d kept it to yourself. Why couldn’t you just give it away, or lock it up somewhere. And not tell me, like, ever?”

Damon’s mouth opened, his confusion complete, but no words actually came out. Shaking his head in disbelief, he finally settled on, “I’ve been beating myself up over this. I swore I wouldn’t be that guy anymore who lies and keeps things from you. These past weeks I’ve felt like a total asshole and you… what? Wanted me to forget I had it? Get rid of it? What the hell, Elena?”

Elena looked long and hard at him. She came closer and took his face in her hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

Elena threw up her hands in the air, screaming in frustration, “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say or how to react.”

“Say you’ll take the cure. Then this can all be over.”

Elena’s eyes widened and Damon heard her heart rate pick up. “What?”

“No,” Damon hurried to add, “not us. I meant this fight, or discussion, or whatever you want to call it. This can be over. Not us.”

Elena closed her eyes to take a few relieved breaths but as soon as she did, a memory assaulted her. She heard her own pleading voice, _“Be human with me.”_ Elena breathed through it, all the while aware of Damon’s eyes on her. When she opened them again, she knew what she had to do. It all boiled down to one single conclusion and in the middle of the chaos in her mind, this one thought stood out in perfect clarity. “I am not taking it without you.”

Before Damon could protest, Elena continued, “If we learned anything from the past year it’s that I’m not good at this ‘living without you’ thing. So don’t even think about suggesting I take the cure and go on to live a healthy, normal, fulfilled life without you. Because if you’re not in it, it won’t be.” She breathed in deeply, calming herself. “The way I see it,” she calmly continued despite the chaotic uproar in her head and before Damon had the chance to even open his mouth. “Only two options remain: One, I take the cure and we have 50 to 60 years together before I die. That’s assuming you’ll want me when I’m old and wrinkly and you’re still you. Two, I don’t take the cure and we have forever together. There is no option three where you leave me _for my own good_.” She spit his own words from not too long ago back at him like they were something foul-tasting. “So, don’t you even dare think about it!”

Damon thought carefully about his reply. “You could have a good life. No more blood. No more hunger. You could have kids.”

“They wouldn’t be yours,” she cried out desperately. “I don’t want them if they’re not yours.” She didn’t know where that had come from but as soon as she said it, she knew it was the truth. At some point in time her dream of having a family had morphed into having a family _with Damon_.

Now it was Damon’s turn to feel like he was falling into an abyss. His kids? In 174 years, he’d never thought about kids. About being a _dad_. Talk about things that were _scary_.

“Okay, we’ve played the future game before. Let’s try again: Tell me, after I lived this good, happy, blood-free life and I die of old age, what are you going to do?” Elena asked, unaware of his turmoil.

Damon thought he was probably going to lay down next to her grave, take off his daylight ring and wait for the sun to rise, but he didn’t say it out loud. Elena didn’t look like she expected an answer anyway.

“Option three,” Damon said, “I take the cure with you.”

Elena looked at him, shell-shocked. Then her eyes clouded over and she shook her head. “We’ve been here before,” she quietly said. “You said you couldn’t think of anything more miserable on earth.”

“Well, now I can. And I don’t want to lose you. Human or vampire – whether you remember it or not: you’re my life, Elena,” he reminded her. “Let me take the cure with you.”

“But you don’t want to be human, Damon!”

“No. I can’t _imagine_ being human. That’s different. What I _want_ is a life with you.”

She smiled at him and kissed him softly on the lips. “That’s what I want, too – a life with you. And that’s exactly what we’re going to have. We get to be together, forever.”

“Elena,” Damon began.

“No,” she stopped him. She knew without a doubt that Damon would do anything, give anything for her. He would sacrifice his life, his happiness just to give her what she wanted. He valued his own life so little that what he wanted always came second. So she would put him first. “You’ve had the cure for weeks now, you said. And you didn’t tell me before. Why?” She already knew the answer; she just wanted to make him see what she came to realize a few moments ago.

“I don’t know. We were in a good place. I didn’t want things to change,” Damon replied with a shrug.

Elena nodded. She didn’t want things to change either. She wasn’t going to let them. “Perfect,” she said. “Nothing has to change. We’re agreed then.”

“No, we are not agreed,” Damon exclaimed. “Wasn’t your whole point half an hour ago that the world around you changes while you’re frozen in time? And I’m telling you it doesn’t have to be like that anymore. You like change, Elena. You want change.”

Elena stubbornly shook her head. “I don’t want _everything_ to change,” she whispered.

“ _Everything_ doesn’t have to. But some things can. You have that choice now.”

“Great. Then I choose not to talk about this anymore.”

“God, you’re stubborn,” Damon growled.

“You promised me forever, Damon. Remember? Unless you changed your mind?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Damon impatiently replied. “Of course, I haven’t changed my mind. But—”

“Okay,” Elena interrupted before he could say more. “I’ll take forever then. There, I made a choice. And we’re not going to talk about this again.”

She kissed him and no matter how hard Damon tried to bring the topic up again, she resolutely refused to participate in the discussion and distracted him whenever she felt his mind stray towards it again.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with this chapter; that's why I didn't post it earlier. But the inspiration won't come and I'm getting impatient. Chances are, I'm going to take it down or come back and re-write it later. In the meantime, I give you a mediocre version.  
> Be warned: there's a bit of smut in the beginning. (Do I even need to warn for smut anymore?)

A soft moaning sound woke Damon. He blinked in the dusky twilight of the room and subconsciously pushed his hardness into the mattress trying to alleviate some of the pressure. He almost groaned at the friction and wondered for a moment if the sound that woke him was his own. But then he heard it again.

Next to him, Elena moved a little in her sleep. Damon rolled over and spooned her from behind. He brushed hair away from her neck and was about to kiss it when she moaned again. Her skin radiated heat and her hips were moving in tiny circles. One of his hands moved to her hips and she stopped moving them; instead a sigh and an unintelligible murmur left her lips.

“What?” Damon whispered close to her ear.

“More,” she breathed. For a moment, Damon was tempted to slip into her dream to see what had gotten her so worked up, or who. But more than that he wanted to see it play out. Besides, he could always ask her later about the dream.

“Mmhh,” Elena mumbled, parting her legs slightly and pushing her hips forward. “Damon.”

Okay, so that answered the question of who. Damon grinned smugly and moved to kiss her neck and shoulder. Her hips started moving again and Damon was unbearably turned on. The hand on her hip slipped down to her thigh, caressing the soft inside.

“Damon, come on,” Elena muttered encouragements in her sleep.

Damon’s self-restraint took a hard hit. Barely aware that he was doing it, he pushed a knee between her legs and nestled his hips closer to hers. Elena pushed against his hardness and it slipped naturally to her warm, wet center. Damon lifted her top leg and draped it over his. He rubbed himself against her wetness.

“Elena,” he moaned, not trying to be quiet anymore. He needed to be inside her. “Baby, wake up.” He nosed along the shell of her ear and sucked a hickey into the spot behind her ear where she was particularly sensitive. She moaned in response, but didn’t open her eyes.

Well, Damon thought, he had other ways of waking her up. He moved his whole body against hers, the friction making his eyes roll back in his head. He wanted to be inside her so badly. The way she was pressing back against him told him that she had pretty much the same idea, but he held himself back. Damon’s fingers dipped down to her wet core and applied pressure.

“Oh, god, yes,” Elena groaned. He turned her head and kissed her, tongue delving deep. She didn’t respond at first, but when he started nibbling on her bottom lip, she latched onto his upper one and suckled it. Damon pulled back to look at her. Her eyes slowly opened. The pupils were blown wide and she was staring at his lips like hypnotized.

Her eyes rose to meet his. Wordlessly, while holding eye contact, he moved his hips slightly and pushed inside her slowly, thrusting gently a few times until he was seated snugly and completely inside her warmth.

She gasped at the fullness, warm breath ghosting over his wet lips.

“Move,” she told him, voice rough from sleep and laced with desire.

“No.”

“What?” Her sex-dazed, still sleepy mind didn’t understand why he would refuse her request.

“Tell me what you were dreaming about,” Damon demanded.

She tried to recall the images from the dream, trying to separate them from reality. But Damon’s hand was distracting her; splayed wide, it dragged up the front of her body. His thumb caressed the underside of her breasts before the palm slid further down again and rested on her lower belly. She laced her digits with his and said, “Your mouth was right here,” pushing their entwined fingers to the exact spot, where Damon immediately started stroking her. “Your tongue was so wet and hot and I wanted you inside me.”

Damon’s eyes rolled back, hearing her talk. He brushed his fingers very lightly between her folds, teasing, but she forced his fingers firmer against herself, wordlessly telling him how she wanted to be touched.

“Mmhh,” she moaned as he put pressure on her clit with his thumb while the other fingers stroked her where they were joined together. She clenched at the sensation and Damon had to bite his own lips to not move inside her like every muscle in his body wanted him to.

“Make me come,” Damon asked, breathing the words into her ear.

“Then move,” Elena answered, uselessly trying to thrust her hips. But his arm held her firmly to him.

“No. Like this. Make me come like this.”

Elena whimpered. She was desperate to come, had been since before she woke up. Unconsciously, she squeezed her inner muscles, resulting in a low groan from Damon. “Yes, just like that,” he moaned. The fingers on her clit redoubled their efforts – he rubbed, pushed, and teased and Elena thrashed uselessly in his arms, trying to move her hips. When he pressed against an especially delicate spot that made Elena see sparks, her body tensed all over and Damon groaned again at the tightness around him. They both panted when he eased up on her sensitive spot a little, only to do it all over again.

Elena’s body convulsed in violent spasms, on the verge of tipping over. Damon felt huge inside her and she was getting frantic. She could feel his heartbeat’s pulse inside herself. For some inexplicable reason it was turning her on even more. Her breath came in sobs and she was so hypersensitive that every touch of Damon’s fingers made her see stars and squeeze around Damon’s cock. She knew they were both getting really close and she was craving the abyss, not able to take any more of the delicious torture.

When Damon pressed down on her clit hard, waves of pleasure washed over Elena. She surrendered her body completely to the currents, biting her pillow in a near silent orgasm. Damon’s teeth clenched on her shoulder as his self-control broke and he thrust against her quickly. Moments later she felt him erupt inside her.

Damon emptied himself into Elena, then slowly pulled out of her body while she shivered as aftershocks ran through her and forced her to clench her muscles, only gradually releasing him. He rolled Elena on her back and immediately slid down between her thighs. Mouth wrapping around her clit, he sucked gently and circled her with his tongue. Elena cried out, head lifting off the pillow.

“No, Damon,” she called out, “too much.” Her fingers slipped onto his hair and tightened. Damon waited, but she didn’t pull him away which he took for a sign to proceed.

His tongue continued its careful exploration, gently soothing every spot and crevice that his fingers had so mercilessly abused. He blew cool air on her heated and swollen flesh and Elena shuddered. With another lick of his tongue, she came again, her sudden climax taking her completely by surprise. Her body convulsed, head lifting off the bed, a broken scream on her lips. Damon let go of her then and joined her at the head of the bed. He kissed her closed eyes and cheeks and gently nibbled on her mouth.

“You’re one hell of an alarm clock, you know,” Elena murmured against his lips. “Too bad I don’t have anywhere to be for at least another few hours.”

Damon laughed and kissed her for real. “You say too bad, I call it lucky.”

***

“Hey, Stefan? You got a minute?”

“Sure.”

“I can come back if you’re busy,” she proposed, surveying the various tools, bolts, and objects she didn’t have a name for on the floor of the garage. It looked like he was working on his motorcycle; at least that’s what Elena supposed it was. It didn’t really resemble a functioning motorcycle at that very moment, but rather an exploded view of one.

“Elena,” Stefan wiped down his hands on a rag and sat down, his eyes imploring Elena to continue.

Elena looked around the garage for a place to sit. She turned over an old bucket and sat down across from Stefan. She was supposed to meet Bonnie in town. Seeking Stefan out had been a very spontaneous decision and she had no clue how to start the conversation. Ever since Damon had revealed to her that he had the cure and not only that but that he intended to take it with her – her thoughts had been all over the place.

She hadn’t yet talked to anyone about it. Aside from Jo, that was. And it had just come out because Elena had been so distracted during her last volunteer shift at the hospital. When Elena had confided in her, Jo had called Damon’s suggestion of taking the cure with her the vampire version of a proposal, only adding to Elena’s confusion.

The one thing she could agree on in all that chaos was that Damon didn’t really mean it. Or at least hadn’t thought it through. He was probably being insecure about their relationship, though Elena thought they were past that. But not having all her memories left her in a really bad position negotiation-wise.

“Do I need to get my crystal ball?” Stefan asked with a slight grin at her continued silence. “Or I can take a guess,” he suggested and pretended to think hard. “Is this about…” He fake-gasped. “Damon?”

Elena rolled her eyes at his antics and reluctantly nodded.

“Shocker,” Stefan commented under his breath. But he seemed to find a lot of amusement in her situation. “Come on, tell me, what’d he do this time?”

“Do?” Elena replied. “Nothing. It’s more about what he said.”

“Sounds cryptic.”

If only she could tell him, Elena thought while searching for a good starting point. “Okay, so,” Elena began. “There’s something that keeps bothering me. Remember when Kai came by the house on Bonnie’s birthday?” It wasn’t what she really wanted to talk to Stefan about, but she might as well start there.

“Well, no, because I wasn’t there.”

“Right.”

“But I’ve been told the gist.”

“Well, he… he said something. About me and Damon. That I changed when I became a vampire and that’s why I’m with Damon. That I switched brothers because I turned.” She didn’t really believe it in her heart of hearts, but what if this was a legitimate concern of Damon’s? She knew she should be talking to Damon about it, but she needed to know all the facts before she could discuss this cure thing with him again. Most of the time, she could get by without having all of her memories. But sometimes… She paused to breathe, not wanting to lose herself in frustrations again. How could she allow Damon, or herself, to make such a literally life-altering decision when she was still missing essential parts of her life?

“Oh, that.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you talked to Damon about this?” Stefan asked her.

“I have, actually. I asked him flat out if we’d be together if I hadn’t become a vampire. He said no. Didn’t even have to think about it.”

“And that bothers you,” Stefan concluded.

“To quote Caroline: Duh.” Stefan laughed while Elena chewed on her lip. “Is he right?” she finally asked. “Is the only reason Damon and I are together because I’m a vampire?”

“Yes and no.”

“That doesn’t really clear things up.”

“It’s not how you felt about him that changed. It’s how you acted on those feelings. You loved him before you became a vampire. But I don’t think you would have had the courage to admit this to yourself had you stayed human.”

“I wish I could remember,” Elena muttered.

“Becoming a vampire made you strong. Don’t get me wrong, Elena. You’ve always been a strong woman. The strongest I know. But when you became a vampire, you had to face so many of your fears. Actually, Damon made you face them. He taught you to feed without becoming a ripper, showed you how to live as a vampire without it changing who you are at the core, to accept who you are – the bad parts and the good parts. He made you face the dark side of vampirism and made you realize that those parts don’t define who you are as a person. I believe that’s what finally made you admit to yourself what you really wanted and to go for it.”

Elena nodded, deep in thought while Stefan watched her.

“Did that help clear things up for you?” he eventually asked.

“I think so. Maybe. Yes.” Becoming a vampire never created or changed her feelings for him. It was only ever the catalyst that made her act upon those feelings. Not the reason.

“Why are you listening to Kai? He doesn’t know you or Damon. Or your history. Don’t let him get into your head.”

“The problem is, I don’t know our history either.”

“Right,” Stefan drawled. “I sometimes forget. You’re—”

“What?” Elena prompted him to keep going when he stopped.

“Well, you’re you again. For a while, right after Alaric compelled your memories away, you were this zombie version of yourself. But not anymore. You’re back to being you. I guess, that’s why I sometimes tend to forget that you don’t remember all of what came before.”

“I wish I could forget that I don’t remember.” She paused, then scrunched up her face. “Argh. Sorry, that doesn’t make any sense, does it?”

Stefan chuckled. “No, I understand. It must be frustrating to be around people who know more about yourself than you do.”

“Yes! Exactly!”

“Just keep in mind,” Stefan said, “Kai is not one of those people that know you or someone you can trust. And if you ever need a reminder, come talk to me.”

“I will. Thank you, Stefan.”

“Anytime.”

She was about to leave but then stopped herself. “Stefan? Do you think, after all that we’ve done, all that we’ve been through, that we can go back to live normal lives?”

“I guess it depends on your definition of normal,” he answered.

Elena bit her lip. “Let’s say the cure was still on the table. Let’s say there was more than just one dose. You think we can go back to being normal, boring humans with normal, boring, human lives?”

“You’re all about the existential questions today, huh?”

Elena simply smiled and waited for an answer.

“Honestly, Elena,” Stefan said. “I don’t know. Some of us, maybe. If we find something worth living for.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“You’re asking the wrong person because I have no idea.” He sighed deeply and fixed her with his eyes. “Immortality is a two-edged sword, isn’t it? On one hand, you have all the time in the world to do anything you want. On the other, it prevents you from doing most of the things that you’d want to do. Like have a family, a career, build something that matters. You can’t even pull too much attention to yourself, lest you’ll be discovered for what you are. So you live a life removed from everything. At least everything that matters. The most you can hope for is to find someone to share it with; at least for a while.”

Elena smiled a sad smile. “Would you turn human again, if you could?”

“That’s a loaded question. We all say we miss being human, but when we had the chance, none of us actually took the cure. It’s a lot to give up. Which doesn’t answer your question, I know. I just don’t like to think about things I cannot change,” Stefan replied. He reached out and squeezed her arm before getting up to return to his project.

“You’re good at this, you know,” Elena said before she left. “The talking, therapy, working through stuff kind of thing. If it’s going to become a habit, you should start charging me.”

“I’ll send the bill to Damon, shall I?”

They both shared a laugh before Elena left him to reassemble his bike.

As she walked to her car, or rather Damon’s since she was yet to get a new one, her thoughts were churning but at the same time she felt oddly calm. The talk with Stefan really did help settle what she hadn’t realized had been a big source of uncertainty for her. But she thought she understood herself and Damon better now. They didn’t need the cure to lead meaningful lives. They had each other and that was enough.

If only she could make Damon see that. Maybe he’d give up his ridiculous plan of becoming human with her. Because even though she firmly refused to even think about bringing up the topic of the cure again, she knew Damon was still thinking about it. And to be honest, she was too – no matter how much she tried to deny it. She had told Damon that she’d made a decision, that she didn’t want it. But she also knew that she could change her mind anytime; that he was waiting for her to change her mind. As long as she knew the cure existed, it would remain a temptation. An eternal ‘what if’. Maybe she could convince Damon to get rid of it, for both their sakes.

***  
Hands in his pockets, Damon stood on one of the balconies of the upper floor that were overlooking the grounds and, incidentally, in vampire hearing range of the garage. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but Elena’s and Stefan’s voices carried easily and to be perfectly honest, he had been curious.

Elena still refused to talk to him about the cure, actively changed the topic when he tried to bring it up. But it seemed that, despite not wanting to talk about it, she was still very much thinking about it.

Damon relaxed against the brick wall, lost in thought as he watched Elena pull out of the driveway. One thing was for certain in this world: once Elena made a decision, there was no power in the universe that would keep her from it. If she wanted to be a doctor, she would be a doctor. If she wanted kids, they would have kids. He knew that without a sliver of a doubt.

Elena’s vision of the future still scared him. The possibilities to fuck up and disappoint her were endless. And yet… When he tried to imagine it – being part of her dreams, sharing her life, being a parent. It was so frighteningly easy to see them living that kind of life. And lately, whenever he imagined it, he couldn’t help the smile that would steal onto his face. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted it.

Now he just needed to convince Elena of it. He would make her talk about it and this time he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

***

“Try this one,“ Bonnie said, pushing an off-white dress into Elena’s arms.

“Oooh, I love it,” Elena said. “But maybe not for the wedding, huh? The bride is the only one who’s supposed to wear white.”

“It’s not really white,” Bonnie reasoned. “We could call it cream colored.”

Elena laughed. “I don’t think it matters what you call it. Let’s keep looking.”

They were shopping bridesmaid dresses for Elena and since Jo didn’t give them a color scheme or anything to go on really, leaving them with a, ‘get whatever you like and you’re comfortable in’, the choices were plentiful.

Elena eyed a peacock multicolored gown, wondering if the color was too flashy for a barn wedding when Bonnie presented her with another option in blue.

“It’s gorgeous,” Elena gasped.

“Come on,” Bonnie said and pulled Elena in the direction of the dressing rooms.

Elena slipped into the dress and turned toward the mirror. She was hit with a vision so hard, she stumbled and had to brace herself against the wall quickly.

“Elena?” Bonnie called from the cabin next to hers, having heard the thud. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Elena replied, breathlessly, all her attention taken up by the new memory. She smiled as she saw herself and Damon dance together. She had thought the Founders Ball was one of her most embarrassing memories, having been left by her date, with no partner to dance with. But that wasn’t real. Damon had been there. He had saved her from embarrassment and he’d danced with her and made her feel like they were the only two people on the dancefloor. She sighed happily, so glad to have that memory back again.

“Well? Are you going to keep it?”

“What?” Elena replied, perplexed.

Bonnie, impatient, pulled back the curtain and asked again, “Are you going to keep—” She broke off, seeing Elena in the dress. “Wow. You look amazing.”

Elena smiled a thank you at her.

“It looks almost like that dress you wore to the Miss Mystic Falls pageant, doesn’t it?” Bonnie wondered aloud.

“Yeah. I don’t really feel like it’s bridesmaid material though, you know?” It wasn’t true, but Elena didn’t want to repeat past events. She and Damon had agreed to make new memories and that meant a dress that didn’t remind her of an event in the past, no matter how grateful she was to have recovered another significant memory.

Bonnie looked skeptically at her but then shrugged and said, “Okay.”

They continued their shopping trip and moved on to several other stores, but no matter how many more dresses Elena tried on, none of them managed to shake loose another forgotten memory, like Elena had hoped. The did eventually find a beautiful strapless dress in a minty-to-beige color gradient with a neckline that was almost too daring for Elena’s taste, but Bonnie promised her she looked stunning in it. Only she phrased it as, ‘Damon’s jaw gonna hit the floor when he sees you’.

“Hey, check this out.” Bonnie held her up as they were almost out the door. She swerved right and grabbed the article that had caught her attention. It turned out to be a beautiful silky shawl the same minty color as the dress Elena had just paid for. “Wouldn’t that go perfect with your dress?” Bonnie asked.

“I guess,” Elena said.

“It’s perfect. For the evening, to cover up when it gets chilly.”

To convince Elena, she threw the garment across her shoulders and it made Elena freeze, eyes going glassy as another memory fought to resurface. This one more sluggish, Elena had to concentrate to not let it slip away. She could see Damon negotiate a day of keeping their new relationship secret and then kiss her sweetly. Damon slinging a scarf around her neck, much like Bonnie had done a second ago, while escorting her to the door. And suddenly they were upstairs, in Damon’s bed. Elena’s head hurt. Something didn’t make sense and made it hard to concentrate. Until she understood that the memory was unwinding backwards, for some reason.

“Elena? Elena?” Bonnie’s panicky voice barely registered but Elena made herself focus.

“You look pale. Do vampires look pale? Elena,” Bonnie rambled. “What’s happening?”

Elena tried to smile. “Nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I mean, nothing bad. It’s just a new memory.”

“Oh,” Bonnie said, understanding. “Is that how it always goes?”

“No,” Elena breathed heavily. It was difficult to follow the conversation with Bonnie while simultaneously trying to hold on to the backwards playing movie inside her head. “Can you go buy this for me?” Elena asked her best friend, unwinding the shawl from her shoulders and giving Bonnie her credit card. “I’m going to go wait outside.”

“Are you sure? I can come with you.”

“No, it’s okay. I just need some air. I’ll meet you outside.”

***

_“What’s that face?”_

_“What face?” No matter how hard he tried, the smile wouldn’t leave._

_“That face,” Elena replied._

_“I’m happy.”_

_Elena kissed him, trying to show him without words that she was happy too. More than that. She felt known, and seen. Found. Like she was finally exactly where she was supposed to be._

Suddenly Elena was thrown back into the scene the night before. She saw herself arrive at the Salvatore mansion with a packed bag, Damon opening the door for her, beckoning her to come in. Stefan telling her to pick a room. He probably hadn’t meant Damon’s, Elena snorted to herself, but that’s where she had ended up anyway.

And here, in the sweltering heat of a Virginia summer, leaning against the bricks of a storefront, Elena realized something. This was where it had begun for her. Not the falling in love part, no. She had loved Damon long before that night. But that morning, in his bed, had solidified the knowledge that this was it for her. It was either him or nobody.

With Stefan, she never dared to think about the future. It was something she dreaded, maybe subconsciously knowing that there wasn’t going to be one. But looking into Damon’s eyes, waking up next to him, she could see her whole life before her. Could not only see it, but taste it, feel it. Vividly.

She sank down into a crouch and released an almost hysterical laugh, feeling stupid and relieved at the same time. In the safety of her own mind she could finally admit it, even if only to herself. Yes, she wanted the cure. Badly. A part of her would probably always want it. But she also wanted Damon. And only one of those things she couldn’t live without.

“Elena?” Bonnie crouched before her, looking worried. “Are you alright?”

“I am. Yeah, I think I am.” Elena paused. “Hey, Bonnie,” she changed gears, “you talk to Damon a lot, right?”

“I don’t know what’s a lot. But yeah, we talk.”

“Did he happen to mention the cure to you recently?”

Bonnie paused and then sighed, audibly and deeply. “He finally gave it to you? Thank god.”

“Not quite. He told me he had it, but I said I didn’t want it.”

“What? Why the hell not?” Bonnie shook her head.

“It’s complicated,” Elena said.

“I’ve got time,” Bonnie replied, trying to find a spot in the shade but the sun was blasting from a cloudless sky with nowhere to hide. “Before you get into that, can we move this to the car and blast the A/C? I think the heat has my brain melting and I think I need all the brain power I have to follow this conversation.”

Elena nodded and they walked off in the direction of the parking lot.

“Okay,” Bonnie said, running the motor, “explain it to me. Because I don’t get it. You never wanted to be a vampire. Two years ago, you went all the way to Nova Scotia to get the damn thing just so you could go back to being human. And now you’re refusing to take it?”

“Because I don’t think Damon wants me to take it.”

“But he was the one who made plans to get it for you. He had the road mapped out and everything.”

Elena was stunned for a second. He hadn’t told her _that_. She shook her head. Either way, it didn’t change anything.

“Elena, be honest. Do you want the cure?”

“I want to be with Damon.”

“And those two things are mutually exclusive?” Bonnie asked, struggling to understand.

“Possibly? I told him I wouldn’t take it without him, so he offered to take the cure with me. He wants to be human with me.”

“Oh,” the surprised sound escaped Bonnie’s lips involuntarily. “But that’s great. That’s what you always wanted.”

“I thought so. I mean, I do. But he loves being a vampire. How could I ask him to give that up for me?”

“I think there are things in this world that Damon loves more than being a vampire. I think you’re one of those things.”

“Exactly. He would be doing that for me. And that makes me scared. What if, after a few years, he hates being human so much and starts to resent me? I couldn’t live knowing I made him unhappy.”

Bonnie nodded in thought before she replied, “I think you’re being stupid. By that reasoning, no one should ever get married or start a family. Nobody can promise you a smooth ride. That’s not how it works. If you’re looking for a guarantee, you’re not gonna get it. You make your own happiness. You put in the work and the time and you make sure that you live the best life that you can. But that includes not running away from difficult decisions. And taking a leap of faith. And then fight with all you have to make your dreams come true.”

Elena stared at Bonnie with watery eyes but also with new hope. “When did you get so smart, Bonnie Bennett?”

“Well, you’re all being idiots, so someone had to step up.”

Elena leapt across the middle console and wrapped herself around her friend. “I love you.”


	25. Chapter 25

Elena’s phone rang and she glanced at the display. Damon. That was weird. He was supposed to be with the guys, knee-deep in bourbon and strippers, drinking to Alaric’s last night as a bachelor.

She excused herself from the table and answered the call.

“Can you sneak outside?” Damon asked without a greeting.

“You’re here? Why?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Right now?”

“Kind of. Before I chicken out.”

Chicken out? Now Elena was intrigued. “Uh, okay. Let me sneak out for a moment. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Actually,” Damon said, “can you put me on speaker?”

Elena blinked a few times in confusion but did as he asked.

“Good evening, ladies. I hope you’re enjoying your party. And I know this is highly unorthodox, but I have to whisk away my lovely girlfriend. My apologies.”

“Ugh, Damon,” Bonnie exclaimed. “Your dick can wait until later.”

Jo cackled in the background.

“My dick probably could, but I can’t,” Damon’s tinny voice replied from the speaker.

Elena made her excuses after that and grabbed a tray of fries before stepping outside. Damon had told her to meet him at the clock tower so she headed that way. She was confused when she couldn’t see him but then he told her to look up. She smiled and met him at the top.

Without words, Damon pulled out the little box and held it up to Elena. She knew what was inside; what she didn’t know was why he was bringing it up again right now. Ever since her talk with Stefan and then Bonnie, she had been looking for a good time to talk to Damon about it. But she had decided to wait until after Alaric and Jo’s wedding. It seemed, Damon had beat her to it. Elena took the box but didn’t open it.

“I want you to take the cure,” Damon said.

“We’ve been over this,” Elena replied. She would stand by what she said weeks before – she was not taking it without him and she was not letting him give up the life that he loved just to please her.

“No, you never let me finish or try and distract me before I can say what I want to say.”

“Okay, I’m listening.” She crossed the arms in front of her, prepared for his lecture and bracing herself to turn him down. Again. Despite every fiber in her body wanting to down the damn cure and return to being human.

“I want to be human with you, Elena. I may not have meant it the first time I said it. I admit it just came out in the heat of the moment. But I’ve thought about it. And I want to take it.”

She wanted so badly to believe it, but, “Because you know that that’s what I want.”

“Okay, yes,” Damon admitted, not seeing any point in denying it. “That’s part of it. Because I want to give you everything you want. A love that consumes you, passion, adventure. I would give you the world if I could. But this… this is the only thing I thought I’d never be able to give you. Now I can.”

“You _are_ the love that consumes me,” Elena implored. “And our lives are one never-ending adventure. I don’t need the world if I can have the forever with you. Not getting to grow old is a ridiculously small price to pay for that.”

“It’s not the only thing you’d be sacrificing though, is it? You want a family. And we can have one. Together.”

Elena rubbed her face with both hands, hope and want warring with her rational mind. She laughed hysterically. “Jo was right,” she said. “She called it the vampire version of a proposal.”

“That was not a proposal,” Damon scoffed. “When I propose to you, it’s going to be epic.”

“When? Not if?” She looked at him coyly.

“Come on, Elena,” Damon rolled his eyes, “we both know we’re headed that way. I’m actually looking forward to being your trophy husband.”

“Why do you get to be the trophy husband? What if I want to be the trophy wife?” she teased back, grateful for a little reprieve.

“Come on, be serious. Only one of us is studying to be a doctor. Someone has to take care of the house and kids. And, try as I might to imagine it, but even in my wildest fantasies, you, my love, can’t cook. You can help the kids with homework while I prepare dinner.”

“You don’t cook either,” she protested.

“A-ha,” he triumphantly exclaimed. “There’s the difference. Just because I don’t, doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“That may be, but _I_ have never set a kitchen on fire. Unlike some of us.” Damon wiggled his brows, making Elena laugh.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her fingers in his hair. “Do you really want this?” she asked, voice quiet.

“I do.”

“Even if it means you won’t ever be able to go back to being a vampire? Even though you’d be giving up something that you love?”

Damon took her face in his hands. “Why is it okay for you to sacrifice the life you want for me, but it’s not okay if I want to do the same for you?”

“Because I’m afraid,” she admitted.

“Of what?”

“I don’t want you to resent me.”

“Now you’re just being stupid,” Damon said.

“Excuse me?” Elena took a step back to stare at him.

“Well, you are. How could I ever resent you? I get to share a life with you.”

“But it is only one life.”

“That’s all I ask. That’s all I want. One life with you.”

Elena chewed her lip, so tempted to believe it. She had one last card to play. “I have one condition.”

Damon looked at her with suspicion in his eyes and motioned for her to continue.

“You need to tell Stefan.”

“Why?” Damon whined.

“Because deep inside you know he has the power to talk you out of it. And as long as you haven’t listened to what Stefan has to say about it, you can’t be one hundred percent certain.”

“I am one hundred percent certain.”

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem telling your brother, right?”

“Okay, I will,” Damon agreed. “He can try his worst. And what if he can’t change my mind?”

Elena thought for a minute. “You said you wanted to give me the world? I’ll let you.”

Damon looked at her, not understanding.

“Show me the world. You wanted to take me to Europe last summer. This is your chance. Let’s go. Let’s leave Mystic Falls and do all the crazy stupid things we probably shouldn’t be doing as humans. You love being a vampire. We’ll take that sabbatical, have one last hurrah, and then come back and settle down and be human together.”

“Stefan would be relieved,” Damon mused, “not having to run into us or listen to us all the time.”

Damon smiled and offered his hand for a handshake. “Deal.”

***

Elena surveyed the big hall one last time. Everything seemed in order and guests had already started to arrive. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was a little nervous about whether Damon would make it back in time for the ceremony. Stefan had assured her that Damon would be there, but considering that Stefan had tried his worst to convince Damon what a stupid idea it was to become human, one could never be too sure. Elena’s eyes subconsciously sought out Stefan’s and he nodded at her, assuring her again without words that things were okay. She just had to be patient and trust Damon.

Elena took a deep breath and, seeing as she wasn’t needed here right now, decided to return to Jo’s dressing room to make sure the bride wasn’t going to get a panic attack before the vows could be exchanged. Before she could do so, her body stiffened in surprise as warm lips pressed against her naked neck. A heartbeat later she relaxed and leaned back against the firm body she knew so well. Damon’s arms came around her.

“Isn’t it against the rules to look more stunning than the bride?” he spoke, warm breath ghosting over her exposed neck.

Elena’s eyes closed and she smiled. “You haven’t even seen the bride yet.”

“Don’t have to because you’re a vision.”

“Speaking of visions…” Elena began.

“Ugh,” Damon groaned.

Elena turned around in his arms and slung hers around his neck. She pierced him with a firm stare. “Tell me,” she demanded.

“What country would you like to visit first?” Damon asked instead of an answer.

Elena stared at him in disbelief. “You’re really going to do this for me?”

“Not for you. For us.”

“Are you sure? Really, really sure?” Elena asked, not able to keep the elation out of her voice.

Damon leaned in and whispered close to her ear, “I’m going to tell you a secret. Something I have never told anyone before. Well,” he amended, “no one that counted, at least.”

Elena pulled back to look at him with a questioning gaze, wordlessly asking him to continue.

Lips almost brushing against the shell of her ear, he whispered, “I miss being human. I miss it so much.”

“But—” Elena began, but stopped, not knowing how to finish. She blinked a few times. “You said you couldn’t think of anything more miserable—”

“I did,” Damon interrupted. “But that’s because most people _are_ miserable.”

“Then why do you—”

Again, he didn’t let her finish, “Because that’s not gonna be us.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t. But—” He struggled to think of a way to explain it to her. “Elena,” he tried, “remember when I came back and you didn’t remember us but you placed all your cards on that faint glimmer of hope that there should be something more? Now I’m doing the same. A chance, no matter how tiny, at a happy human life with you is all I need.”

Elena’s heart skipped a beat. The tiny insecure voice inside her head wanted to scream warnings at her, but the other, louder voice reminded her that Damon loved her, every part of her. She was free to change, grow, evolve and still he would love her. Even if their lives changed, their love for each other wouldn’t. She decided to trust that together they could weather anything.

Elena surged up and pressed her lips against Damon’s, almost throwing him off-balance. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her closer, kissing back.

***

“This isn’t really a dress that goes well with wearing the hair down, but… oh, well.” Elena tried to straighten her hair into some semblance of acceptable style, her previous artful updo unsalvageable after their roll in the literal hay. Damon just grinned at her comment and reached out to remove some straw from her hair. Elena met his eyes.

She stared at him long enough that he finally said, “I’m not going to change my mind. You and I are taking the cure and that’s it.”

“When?” Elena asked the question that was on both their minds.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“What if I said tonight?” Elena asked.

“Then I guess we’ll have one last drink and toast as vampires before it’s bye-bye superpowers, hello real life.”

Elena looked at him dubiously. “Okay, I don’t actually want to take the cure today,” Elena admitted. “I actually meant it when I said I wanted to travel the world with you. I guess this was one last test. Sorry.”

“Elena, I’m with you on this. Just say when.”

“Okay,” Elena said and thought for a moment. “Five years.”

“What?!”

“Let’s give it five more years. Five years as vampires, to do all the things we want. To travel not just Europe, but the world, to finish med school, to go skydiving, to drink without getting drunk… well, too much anyway. To take advantage of all the incredible things we can do as vampires.”

“Why?” Damon sounded genuinely confused.

“This is my condition. Five years.”

“Five months,” Damon countered.

“What? No! This is not a negotiation.”

“Looks to me like it is.”

Elena rolled her eyes. “You said it is my decision. I get to say when.”

“Yeah, I just remembered that you make the worst decisions. So, I’m taking it back.”

“I chose you,” Elena returned as evidence that not all of her decisions were bad.

“Not sure this argument is helping your case,” Damon replied.

“Damon,” Elena pleaded, half amused, half annoyed. He seemed to bring out those particular feelings in her a lot.

“Fine. We can talk about it. But make a realistic offer.”

Before they could get into it further, Elena’s phone dinged with a message from Caroline, as well as several missed calls.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's after midnight and I'm in a hotel room, on a weekend getaway to France. That's how much I wanted to give you a new chapter to read before I go offline for the rest of the weekend. Enjoy.

The days after the wedding were spent in such a flurry of activity, Elena could barely remember every thing that happened. First and foremost, there was of course lots of packing and planning involved – though Damon cautioned Elena not to overpack, claiming he knew all the best shops in Rome, Paris and pretty much all of Europe.

“How much shopping do you plan to do while we travel?” Elena asked, eyeing his mostly empty suitcase.

“Lots.”

“Am I going to see anything else of Europe, aside from the inside of every brand retail store?”

“Sure,” Damon replied and added with a smirk, “I’ll take you to a museum every once in a while. Wouldn’t want you to get bored.”

“I can’t wait,” Elena sardonically replied.

Damon stepped close and into her personal space. As Elena took a step back in surprise, he continued walking her back until she hit the wall of the bedroom. “I can’t wait to walk the cobbled streets of Bruges with you. Or hike the Carpathian Mountains with you. Or go skiing in the Swiss Alps with you. Or to have you all to myself, every day, every night. No distractions. No one to share you with.”

He was so close, Elena’s eyes almost crossed looking up at him. She stared at his soft lips captively, suddenly wanting nothing more than to kiss him.

“You’ll get so sick of me,” Damon continued.

Elena interrupted him with a kiss. “Never,” she breathed against his mouth.

***

To avoid lengthy discussions and fights, Elena opted to be vague on how long she and Damon planned to be gone. She only let her friends know that they hadn’t set a return date yet, knowing full well that her friends would interpret it as a summer long vacation that might run into fall. She knew that none of them even suspected that their plans ran beyond just the summer break. She would figure out how to tell Bonnie and Caroline and Matt and everyone else once they were on the road.

In a completely uncharacteristic move, Damon actually did tell Stefan that he should not expect them back so soon. Stefan took the news in stride, wishing them a good time and demanding only that they stay in touch which both, Elena and Damon, gladly promised.

It would have been a joyous time overall, were it not for the news that Alaric chose to share with them all the day after the wedding. Surprising everyone, he disclosed his and Jo’s plans to not only move away from Virginia but, worse, claimed that for security reasons he could not share the location of their new home with any of his friends.

Elena was sad to hear that, but she understood. Ric was going to be a father and his main priority was to make sure his family felt safe. Virginia was home, but it was also a magnet for all things supernatural. Elena would miss him, but at least they’d be able to talk on the phone.

Damon took it particularly hard. After a heated argument where he and Ric came to blows, Damon now refused to talk to his former best friend, choosing instead to focus his entire energy on planning his and Elena’s trip – or escape, as Stefan had put it.

It was pure coincidence that Damon and Elena left for Europe the same day that Alaric and Jo left for their new life. Elena hugged Ric and then Jo, wishing them both all the best and shedding a few tears, knowing that she probably wasn’t going to see either of them again soon. She really had hoped to be part of Ric’s kids’ lives but it seemed like it wasn’t meant to be. She still held out hope that it wouldn’t turn out to be a permanent thing.

Damon stoically kept his distance, only acknowledging his friend’s departure with a nod as he stood under the awning of the Salvatore house. A few hours after Ric and Jo had driven off, Elena and Damon climbed into the back of Caroline’s car – she and Stefan were driving them to the airport. Elena put a hand on Damon’s neck, stroking back and forth. She knew he was sad and disappointed, though he tried not to show it. Damon lifted his head and glanced at her with a grateful smile. He rested a hand on her knee, squeezing gently. Halfway to their destination, Damon laid down his head on Elena’s shoulder and kissed her neck once.

“He needs to feel in control of his life right now,” Elena quietly said.

“I know,” Damon replied. “He’s just being an idiot.”

“He’s going to be a father. Don’t judge him before you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”

“The first lesson our kids learn is not going to be how to run away from your problems,” Damon contradicted.

Elena stayed quiet. He didn’t need to know how her heart leapt in her chest every time he so casually mentioned their future kids. Nevertheless, she couldn’t suppress the happy smile that stole onto her face.

***

** 17 months later **

Damon walked into the main room overlooking the Canal Grande and greeted Bonnie and Elena who were having breakfast near the balconette; it was too cold to have it outside. “Ah, my two favorite women in the world.”

He leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head. “Bon-Bon.”

“Morning, Damon.” Bonnie raised an eyebrow at his antics and returned Elena’s answering grin.

Damon turned his attention to Elena and kissed her lips. “Mmh, morning,” he murmured against her mouth and kissed her again.

“PDA much?” Bonnie teased him.

“On the contrary,” Damon replied. “Not enough.” He leaned in for another kiss, but Elena pushed him away with a laugh.

Winter in Venice meant smaller hordes of tourists but were still large enough to allow Elena and Damon plenty of feeding sources while going completely unnoticed. Bonnie didn’t approve, but so far, she hadn’t protested too much. It was, however, only her first week of the three of them vacationing together, so who knew what was still to come.

After deciding to take a break from life and go on a ‘farewell vampire life’ tour, Damon and Elena had left for Europe almost 18 months ago now. They had started in the North, traveling through Iceland and Norway, spending months visiting Belgium and the Netherlands before going on an extended tour of France.

After a side trip to Portugal and Spain, they had arrived in Italy not quite a month ago. The first few weeks had been spent in Sicily, exploring and researching the roots of the Salvatore family tree and celebrating their fourth anniversary.

When Elena suggested that Bonnie start her Christmas break a few weeks early and spend part of it with them in Italy, Damon didn’t mind in the least. He had kind of been missing his friend anyway. Bonnie had taken very little convincing. And so, a week ago, they all had met up in Venice. It was a two-week all expenses paid trip for Bonnie and the last European stop for Damon and Elena who were planning to travel to Africa next. They had vague plans to meet up with Stefan in Egypt who, despite serving in the war, still hadn’t managed to see the pyramids. After a year and a half on the road, Damon had to admit that he kind of, quite possibly, from time to time, missed his little brother. And judging by Stefan’s swift agreement when Damon had first brought up the idea, he badly needed some time away from home where Lily continued to give him a bad time, moaning, complaining and plotting to return her band of followers from the prison world.

Damon pulled up a chair and sat down between the two women, reaching for the pot of coffee. Before he could take a first sip, his phone rang. He groaned out his displeasure but got up to answer it. “It’s Ric,” he announced to the room before picking up the call. “Hey, buddy, what kind of apocalypse is it this time?”

“Why do you assume it’s something bad?” Alaric returned with a laugh.

“Experience. Also, isn’t it like three o’clock in the morning in your part of the world?”

“The joys of being a father of not quite one-year-olds. Speaking of which, I’m actually calling to invite you and Elena to the girls’ first birthday party.”

Damon was quiet for the longest time, stunned into speechlessness. “I must have misheard you.”

“Come on, Damon. We’re having an indoor barbecue and Jo and I thought it would be nice to invite everybody for a casual get-together.”

“You do realize that Elena and I are in Europe right now?”

“Yes.”

“And you want us to come back for a birthday party?”

“In case that wasn’t clear,” Alaric explained with strained patience, “the birthday party is sort of just an excuse to get the family back together.”

“No, I think I got that. What I didn’t get is: When exactly did we become friends again?”

“Come on, man. I’ve been a dad for almost a year and you haven’t even met my kids yet.”

Damon heroically, if he said so himself, refrained from commenting on who’s fault _that_ was. When it became obvious that Damon had nothing to say, Ric continued, “I want you to meet my kids,” he said plaintively.

“I thought you hated me.”

In an effort to protect his family, Alaric and Jo had moved shortly after the wedding, not telling anyone where they had gone. Damon had taken it personally that Ric didn’t trust him with that information and for the first year or so had even refused to take his calls. Eventually Alaric had stopped trying. It was after an intervention coordinated by Jo and Elena that the two formerly best friends had started speaking to each other again. And shortly after that Ric and Jo had moved back to Virginia.

Damon could hear Alaric sigh on the other end of the line. “I did. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but people who love you have the annoying tendency to forgive you.”

Damon grinned despite himself. While Ric prattled on about the plans for the party, Damon glanced back at Elena. She acted as though she was engrossed in a conversation with Bonnie, but Damon could see that her smile had slipped a little. Damon frowned.

“So, you’ll be there?”

“Let me talk to Elena first,” Damon replied. He hung up soon after and returned to the breakfast table, but didn’t sit back down. Instead, he studied Elena, a look of worry on his face. She tried to smile at him, but it was obvious that the mood had changed.

Bonnie glanced in confusion between Damon and Elena. She tried to lift the spirits and said, “Care to weigh me in? Not everyone here has vampire hearing, or have you forgotten?”

She tried to laugh, but her joke fell flat. Elena tried to at least smile at her while Damon didn’t bother at all. Bonnie sent a questioning look in Damon’s direction. It was obvious that there was something going on that she wasn’t in on and she didn’t know what to do about it.

Damon smiled tersely and nodded an ‘I’ve got this’ in her direction. Still not one hundred percent certain, she nevertheless took the cue and excused herself to her bedroom, leaving Damon and Elena alone.

While Damon stood there, contemplating on the best course of action, Elena spoke up.

“So, how is everyone? Can you imagine Alaric as a dad?”

“Too well actually. Must be the teacher gene,” Damon replied, absentmindedly. He grabbed a strawberry and popped it into his mouth, watching Elena carefully. “You done with breakfast?” he asked.

Elena, though confused at the sudden change of topic, nodded.

“Good,” Damon said. “Come take a shower with me.”

“Uhmm,” Elena began but before she could come up with a reason why she couldn’t or why they shouldn’t, Damon intercepted her protests. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up from her chair. “Yeah, you want to,” he said with a deliberately lascivious smile, “come on.”

***

When Elena was completely relaxed while Damon massaged shampoo into her locks, he quietly said, “You know you’re allowed to change your mind, right?”

“What?”

“You want to go back home. You want to go back to college. I know you study your textbooks all the time and I know Jo’s been emailing you her old lecture notes. I also know your study buddies have been sending you all reading assignments and you’ve kept up with the course load online.”

“It’s never been a secret.”

“And yet you didn’t tell me.”

Elena sighed in defeat. “I am going back to college eventually and I am going to make up all the exams that I’ve missed. I just didn’t want to get behind too much.”

“I know and it’s okay. You’ll go to med school. You’ll be a doctor. And you’ll save the world. That’s the plan.”

Elena chuckled and Damon maneuvered her under the shower spray to rinse her hair. When he was done, he continued, “You want what they have. Ric and Jo. You want kids, a home, a normal, _human_ life.”

“Yeah, and we’ll have that. In about two years.”

“But you want it _now_. And I just wanted to remind you that you can have it now.”

“We agreed on three years, Damon. And it’s not even been one and a half.”

“I know we did. But it’s not set in stone. This past year? Has been amazing! But I would have been happy with five months and you wanted five years because I think you thought that’s what I wanted.”

“You love being a vampire and I wanted you to have enough time to enjoy being one. You can never go back to it once you take the cure,” she reminded Damon and turned around to face him.

“I know. But I just want _you_ , Elena. Preferably happy; preferably with me; preferably forever. For however long that turns out to be.”

Elena thought for a minute. As wonderful as the past almost 18 months have been, she would trade it all in a heartbeat for a house and a family of her own in Mystic Falls or wherever it was that she and Damon would end up. “Okay then,” she quietly agreed. “Let’s go home and start the rest of our lives.”

Damon grinned at her. “Let’s. But can we have sex first?”


	27. Chapter 27

“You look very… Christmas-y,” Damon commented, walking into the bedroom and setting down two heavy suitcases and a carry-on bag. They had returned to the States only the day prior. Stefan had picked them up at the airport, but they had to wait forever at the baggage claim for all of their luggage to arrive – Damon would have liked to blame it on Elena’s excessive shopping trips, but he was just as much at fault for the additional suitcases. After finally getting all their luggage back, they drove by Bonnie’s to drop her off, and it had gotten pretty late when they finally made it to the Salvatore Mansion. Exhausted after a day of travel, Damon decided the bags could wait until morning which had turned to midday as they both had slept in.

Elena turned away from the mirror where she had been debating whether she liked the outfit or not. “That’s not what I was going for,” she replied and pulled the red and gold striped dress over her head.

“Now, _that_ is an outfit I approve of,” Damon commented with an appreciative nod at her red bra and panties set.

“Yeah?” Elena struck a pose and challenged him, “You think the other guests will like it?”

“You could definitely pull it off, but I’m not falling for that trap. Not my place to tell a woman what she should and should not wear. But if you accept suggestions, I think the pale-yellow neck holder dress you got in Italy, the one with the brown belt, it would fit the occasion perfectly.”

Elena gasped. “I can pair it with the knit cardigan and the brown leather boots I got in Amsterdam! You’re a genius.” She rushed over to kiss him. “Thank you.”

“Hey, you got a minute?” he asked.

“Sure,” she replied and went to rummage through her suitcase in search of said outfit. They still had a few hours before they had to leave for Jo’s and Ric’s but Elena wanted to have everything ready before then, to make sure they wouldn’t be late or Alaric was going to be pissed.

Damon sat down on the bed and watched Elena pull one garment after the other out of her stuffed suitcase as he debated how to broach the subject that he was about to broach. “Elena?” he began.

“It’s not here,” Elena mumbled. “I know I packed it.”

“Check my bag,” Damon suggested and she did.

“Ha-ha! Got it!”

Elena, triumphant, held the dress up to her front and moved to the mirror, turning this way and that in front of it. She removed the bra – it wouldn’t go with the cut of the dress.

Damon, still watching her, groaned loudly. “Babe, you’re really making it hard for me to focus here.” He paused. “Literally.”

She grinned over her shoulder. “What’s up?” At his plaintive look, she realized her poor choice of words. “I mean, what did you want to talk about?” she rephrased as she slipped into the new dress.

“This,” Damon said and pulled something from his inside pocket.

Elena froze as she watched Damon’s reflection in the mirror. She hadn’t seen the vial since they left Mystic Falls. Damon had never told her where he’d stashed it and she’d never asked. It had made it easier to forget about it and pretend like it didn’t exist. But now they were back and… wow. Elena focused on her breathing. In. Out. Repeat.

“No more discussions, no more negotiations, no more delays. Take it.”

“I will,” Elena said and sat down next to Damon.

“No, I mean right now. Drink it. Now.”

“Why?”

“Because this is Mystic Falls and things have a tendency to not go as planned. The plan was to finish our world wind tour and become human. We’re finished. So, come on. Before anything has the chance to fuck this up for us. Unless you want to do some more jumping out of planes or extreme wild-water rafting.” They had done both, and more, during their 18-months long trip through most of Europe.

Elena glanced at the clock. “We don’t know how I’ll react to the cure. I remember it knocked Katherine out completely. I’ve no idea how long she was out. What if we’re late for the party?”

“So what if we are. Ric’s been pissed at me before; he’ll get over it. Besides, it’s a kids’ birthday party. We wouldn’t be missing much,” Damon reasoned.

Elena took the vial and broke off the top. Her hands shook.

“Scared?” Damon teased.

Elena let her vampire years pass before her inner eye. “It’s been a wild ride.”

“That it has,” Damon agreed.

“Ready for the boring part, Salvatore?”

“Like life with you could ever be boring,” he scoffed.

“Here goes everything.” Elena closed her eyes and was about to swallow the red liquid when Damon’s palm closed around hers, keeping her from it. She opened her eyes and looked at him quizzically.

“I—” Damon began. “I love you.”

Elena smiled and, holding his gaze, brought the vial to her lips and drank.

Nothing happened. She was about to express her doubts that the potion had worked when all of a sudden, a barrage of images flooded her mind. There were flashes of memories – both recovered and those she thought were lost to her forever; snippets of conversations, music, laughter, fights, whispered moments in the dark, warm arms around her that held her and made her feel safe, soundbites, fast forwards, flashbacks, bright lights, an unraveling of the mind. It was a maelstrom and she was caught in the middle, being pulled over and under and in every direction at once. It was dizzying. She heard a scream and then her name, but it was too far away and she was slipping further into the darkness. Oblivion. And finally, blessed silence.

Damon’s panicked voice was the first thing that came back to her.

“Elena? Elena, no. Please, please, please. No. Come back. I’m sorry. Please, please come back. Elena, baby, please.”

“’s okay. ‘M okay.”

“Elena?”

Careful fingers stroked back the hair from her face, lips pressed tightly to her forehead.

“Oh, thank god. I thought—”

“Damon,” Elena managed to breathe. Her vision was clearing and when his face came into focus, she lifted her arms to wrap them around his neck. She sobbed into his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Damon pulled away and asked, alarmed. “Do you hurt anywhere? What’s wrong?”

“Yes, I mean, no,” she replied, or hiccupped more like. “I mean, I’m okay. I’m good.” Then laughter broke out of her, a mix of relief and joy. “I love you. Oh, god, I love you so much.”

Damon pulled her into his arms again before lifting his head to be able to look her in the eyes. “It worked?” he asked, voice awed.

“Yeah, but—” Elena nodded but still looked around for something sharp to test the truth, just to be sure. “Care to volunteer a sharp fang?” she asked Damon when she couldn’t see anything that would do.

She held a finger up for him. Damon’s fangs dropped and he bit through the skin as gently as he could. Elena gasped at the sharp sting and waited. A small drop of blood formed and grew bigger as the wound didn’t heal.

Elena’s smile grew wide and excited. She looked into Damon’s eyes. “I’m human again,” she whispered. She stared in fascination at the tiny not-healing wound on her finger.

Damon leaned in to kiss it but Elena stopped him before he could. “Don’t!”

He lifted his head in confusion.

“Do you still want to wait until—”

“Yes,” Damon replied, not letting her finish the question.

“Then don’t drink it. Not yet at least.”

“Right. Things to do, people to compel before I join the human club,” Damon muttered.

They fell quiet for a moment, just staring at each other, smiles growing on both of their faces at the prospect of the future that lay ahead of them until another hit of memories jolted Elena. She groaned a little under the onslaught and Damon’s face darkened with concern.

“I remember,” she offered as an explanation. “Damon, I remember everything. It’s all coming back, all at once.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah.” While a lot of her memories had come back following the months of Damon’s return, it had slowly petered out. In the past year she hadn’t recovered a single new memory from her previous life with Damon. She had resigned herself that what she had was all she would get.

“The cure broke the compulsion,” Damon commented.

Elena nodded.

“It’s all back again?”

Elena nodded again. “I think so, yes.”

“First time I kissed you?” Damon quizzed.

“In my room. And it was against my will because you were an ass and therefore it doesn’t count. Then here in your room, in this bed, actually. When you were dying from the werewolf bite. Though, technically, that was me kissing you. So, it probably doesn’t count either. On my porch, after telling me that if you were going to feel guilty about something, you were going to feel guilty about that. Although I don’t believe you felt all that much guilt about it.”

Damon simply grinned in response. “First time you told me you loved me?”

“On the phone while you were away at the lake house, training Jeremy. But I loved you long before that.”

“Favorite sexual position?”

“Damon!” Elena slapped his chest, laughing.

Damon’s hands slipped from her shoulders down her arms, checking her over as if scanning for physical injuries. “You’re really okay?”

“I’m really okay. A little dizzy, but that’s just from the onslaught of memories.”

Damon still looked a little skeptical, so Elena grabbed his face in both hands and did the thing she had wanted to do since opening her eyes. She kissed him with all the love and passion that was running wild inside her, searching for an outlet. After a moment’s hesitation, Damon returned her kiss and slid on top of her when she pulled him down.

She hadn’t yet zipped up the dress and he easily pulled it over her head, leaving her only in a red nothing of a thong. Damon pulled back a little, letting his eyes wander down her beautiful body. She waited more or less patiently while he looked his fill before smiling softly and leaning down to kiss a straight line down the center of her body. His fingers followed every curve and dip in a gentle caress.

Elena waited till he had made the trek back up again and reached for his lips. He kissed her back, slow and thorough, before pulling back and nipping gently on her lips.

“I’m not going to break; you don’t have to treat me like one of your Chinese vases in the den,” Elena told him when he let her come up for air.

“It’s been a few years since I’ve been with a human,” Damon explained.

“Well, then let me remind you,” Elena said and rolled them over until she was on top.

***

A little over an hour later, Damon was still lounging on the bed, watching as Elena stepped out of the shower. She stopped midway through wrapping a fluffy towel around herself. “Damon!” she exclaimed.

“Okay, okay, I’m getting up. Don’t worry; unlike you, I can get ready in vamp-speed.”

“Not that,” Elena replied with a throwaway gesture. “Look!” She lifted a corner of the towel that came down to almost mid-thigh and pointed at a darkening spot. “You gave me a hickey,” she said accusingly. Then, with a slight panic in her voice, she turned towards the mirror. “Are there more?”

Damon stood behind her as she turned this way and that, inspecting her reflection for any more marks and love bites. But aside from a slight razor burn on her neck – Damon still hadn’t shaved yet – there were no more telltale signs of their recent bedroom activities.

“Okay, new rule,” Elena said. “You’re not allowed to leave marks.”

“Got it.” Damon saluted and she punched his shoulder.

“I mean it, Damon.”

“I know you do,” he placated. “I guess I need to adjust to the current strength imbalance in our relationship.”

“You’re lucky the dress will cover this,” Elena muttered, rubbing at the spot on the inside of her thigh.

Damon smirked but quickly hid it, not wanting to earn himself another punch from Elena.

***

After his shower, a freshly shaved Damon pulled on a pair of drawstring pants, then grabbed his towel again to rub his hair dry. He glanced over to Elena who was sitting in the middle of the bed, head buried in a book and several others lying open around her.

“What are you reading?” Damon asked.

She looked up at him and held up the book in question. “It’s my diary. The only one that didn’t burn. I found it between my things in the closet.”

Damon threw away the towel and came to sit at the foot of the bed. There were also a few photo albums and a box of things where she had collected mementos of their time together.

“I started this one when I got my emotions back. Why didn’t you give this to me to read when I didn’t have my memories?”

“Didn’t know what was in it. Actually, I didn’t know it was there at all.”

“Would you have read it if you had known?” Elena asked.

Damon shrugged. “I probably would have been seriously tempted.”

Elena paused, biting her lip, then held the open journal out for him to take. He studied her face before reaching for it. But instead of reading it, he closed the book and handed it back to her.

“I’d be more interested to read one of the earlier ones,” he joked.

“Anything in particular you’re especially interested in?” she played along.

“Mhmm,” he said, “all the entries where you pined for me while denying that you were attracted to me.”

Elena laughed and tried to swat him with a pillow. “You’ll be disappointed then. Because that number is zero.”

“Liar,” Damon exclaimed, ducking her assassination attempts.

“I swear,” Elena pushed away the books and keepsakes and rose up on her knees, holding up her right hand as if taking a vow, “I never wrote anything remotely resembling an expression of attraction to you in any of my journals.” At Damon’s skeptical stare, she explained, “If I had let the feelings in, even for a second, it would have ruined everything I tried so hard to rebuilt after my parents died.”

“Now I wish I hadn’t compelled you to forget our meeting. Imagine your journal entry of that,” he said and continued in a slightly higher pitch, “Dear Diary, today I met the hottest guy I ever laid eyes on. I tried flirting with him so he would give me his number, but I am so very bad at it.” Damon grinned, barely holding back a laugh.

Elena gasped, eyes wide and reached for the pillow again, launching it at his head. “That is not what I sound like. And also, I did not flirt with you!”

“’Oh, dark and mysterious stranger who has all the answers, what is it that I want?’” Damon continued in the high-pitched voice, mocking her. In his normal voice, he added, “You just itched to hear me say, ‘me. You want me.’”

“Shut up,” Elena exclaimed between laughs, “I did not.”

Elena launched himself at Damon, but he evaded her attack and scrambled to the other side of the bed.

Damon brought out the high-pitched voice again, “’Oh, I so wish he’d asked me for my number. I offered, but—'”

“That is a flat out lie!” She sat back on her haunches and crossed her arms, acting offended, but her own face betrayed her. The corners of her mouth refused to stay down and her upper body shook with suppressed laughs.

“Oh really?” he challenged. “You were throwing yourself at me. Shamelessly, might I add. Making sure to tell me you had a fight with your boyfriend, so I’d know you were available.” And in the voice that sounded nothing like Elena’s, he continued, “’Oh, dark and sexy stranger, what is it that _you_ want?’” Damon cackled. “You just wanted me to say I wanted your number so that you could brag to your friends about the hot, older guy you met out there in the woods.”

She reached for another pillow to throw at him but he snatched it out of her hands and dropped it beside the bed. When she tried to kick him next, he grabbed her ankle and a second later tackled her to the bed. She retaliated by pushing her fingers between his ribs, starting a tickle fight.

He screamed in a highly unmanly fashion as he squirmed away from her fingers. But Elena wouldn’t let up. Her merciless hands knew all the spots he was particularly ticklish and she was determined to have her revenge.

His only form of defense was to retaliate the same way. She laugh-shrieked when he got to her most ticklish areas and the fight was fully on.

They rolled all over the bed, alternately attacking and evading. The few pillows that had remained on the bed now slipped to the floor, the sheets coming loose, but neither noticed as they continued to squeal, yell, tickle, roll, and laugh hysterically.

Damon’s strength gave out and he capitulated with a victorious Elena on top of him. Hair in complete disarray, clothes rumpled and twisted, eyes shining, and the biggest smile on her face, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. She looked so happy and carefree, Damon’s breath hitched.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Damon let his head drop and from his position he saw an upside-down version of Stefan in the doorway. Elena, a clear line of vision from her perch astride Damon, met his eyes and explained, “You’re looking at the 2014 reigning tickle champion.”

“Nuh-uh, as if,” Damon protested. “It was pretty obvious I let you win.”

Elena put a palm across his mouth. “He meant to say ‘Congratulations’,” she told Stefan, still laughing.

Stefan looked at them both, then around the mess in the room. Shaking his head at their antics, he said, “Whatever. I actually came up her to ask if we’re taking two cars or if we’re driving up to Alaric’s together. But you two aren’t even dressed yet.”

“Oh, we’ll be ready in no time,” Elena replied. “Don’t worry.”

Damon looked at Elena and she removed her hand to let him speak. “We can all fit in my car. Unless we’re picking up Bonnie too?”

“Bonnie texted me earlier. She’s catching a ride with Caroline,” Elena said. “You okay with the back seat?” she asked Stefan.

“Sure, but hurry. We’re going to be late. I’ll wait downstairs for you guys.”

With a last glance at them both and a shake of his head, Stefan left.

Damon watched the upside-down version of him walk away before he rolled Elena over and leaned in to kiss her. She returned the kiss and they almost got lost in it again when they heard Stefan yell from somewhere out in the hall, “Ten minutes or I’m leaving without you.”

Elena slid out from under Damon and got up. They got dressed quickly. While Elena went through a light version of her make-up routine, Damon straightened up the room and redid the bed. Exactly ten minutes later they were both ready to leave.

Elena held out her hand to Damon. “Let’s go tell our friends.” A moment later she seemed to reconsider. “Or, no, wait. We should probably do it some other day. This is Ric and Jo’s kids’ party.”

“The little rug rats are turning one. I don’t think they’ll mind if we crash their party.”

“But still,” Elena protested as she pulled on a knit cardigan and followed Damon downstairs, “I wouldn’t mind keeping it between us for a little while longer. And you should probably talk to Stefan before you turn. He didn’t appreciate being left out of the decision last time, if I remember correctly.”

Damon groaned. Even though Stefan had come to accept Damon’s decision to turn human – as long as the idea was something that would be happening some time in the future, however, it remained only that: an idea.

Outside, at the car, Damon held the door open for Elena. She paused before she got in and cupped his cheek. “I’m going to tell you the same thing you told me in Italy. You can change your mind, Damon. I won’t hold it against you.”

For a second, Damon didn’t understand what she was talking about. But when it dawned, he grabbed her face in both hands. “I want this. I’m not going to change my mind.”

Elena was about to kiss him when both their phones rang simultaneously.

“Caroline,” Elena said with a glance at the display.

Damon fished out his phone and held it up. “Ric.”

They answered.

“You’re late.”

“Where are you?!”

Damon and Elena grinned at each other and replied, “On our way.”

“Stefan?” Damon called out. Wasn’t his brother supposed to be waiting for them?

“Just grabbed the housewarming gift from my car,” Stefan explained, holding up a wrapped package.

“It better not be Bourbon. ‘Cause that’s what I got them,” Damon said, waiting for Stefan to climb into the back seat of the car before they sped off.

“How exactly is Jo who is nursing two babies supposed to enjoy your gift?” Stefan wondered aloud in the car.

“Jo is getting a special present,” Damon replied. “Something we got in Amsterdam.”

Damon and Elena shared a look and Stefan decided he didn’t want to know.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One or two more chapters left to go. Whew.

It was a little over an hour’s drive to Alaric and Jo’s new house and Elena and Stefan spent the time catching up on the last one and a half years with Elena filling Stefan in on all the adventures they had while traveling through Europe. Damon mostly listened, interjecting a comment here and there, but otherwise concentrating on the drive.

He noticed Elena’s hand stray to her leg occasionally to rub at the spot where Damon had left the love bite even though it was hidden by the tights and the hem of her dress. The next time she fidgeted, he reached over and covered her hand with his own. She paused briefly mid-sentence as she was telling Stefan about their wreck diving adventure in Iceland, and turned her palm over to lace her fingers with Damon’s.

The rest of the drive Elena spent playing absentmindedly with Damon’s fingers. A few minutes before they arrived at their destination, Elena noticed the daylight ring she was still wearing. She held up the hand and stared at it for a second. Then she glanced over at Damon. He looked back and forth between her face and her hand before shrugging and turning his attention back to the road. Elena glanced in the rearview mirror but Stefan’s attention was elsewhere as he was staring out the side window. With another glance at Damon, she freed her hand from his grip and finally pulled the ring off her finger, stashing it in Damon’s glove compartment. She released a breath and felt the last vestige of her vampire life go. Damon reached for her hand again and squeezed her fingers gently.

He brought it to his lips and kissed her knuckles. A minute later they turned into Ric’s driveway.

***

With a few weeks still to go until Christmas, the weather decided to spoil them all by giving them a sunny and perfect Sunday. The sunroom in Jo’s and Ric’s new home had even gotten so warm at one point, that they grabbed their chairs to sit outside on the patio overlooking the garden.

Everyone not currently nursing two bubbly one-year-olds was pleasantly buzzed and sharing progressively embarrassing stories of their own childhood that then devolved into drunken escapades stories.

Bonnie was in the middle of retelling an anecdote from their time in Venice, when Caroline suddenly shrieked. Everyone jerked, some in alarm, others – with more sensitive hearing – in pain.

“Caroline,” Damon complained, “what the actual f—”

He didn’t get to finish however as Caroline was excitedly pointing at Elena’s hands. “You… You’re not wearing your daylight ring.” Her eyes grew comically wide. “How can you sit outside in the sun without your daylight ring?”

Elena instinctively covered her right hand that for the last several years had sported her daylight ring. She opened her mouth to reply, but no sound came out. Helpless, she glanced over at Damon.

Everyone had fallen silent, staring at her. Elena took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. “I’m not a vampire any more, Care.” She looked around at her friends. Alaric smiled at her, looking taken aback but proud, and Jo nodded in support. Bonnie looked overjoyed. Everyone seemed, though surprised, genuinely happy for her and Elena felt marginally better.

“Since when?” Caroline demanded to know.

“Since about five hours ago?” Elena replied with a questioning expression in Damon’s direction.

He nodded. “Going more on six, I’d say.”

“Are you… okay?” Caroline asked.

Elena grinned at her and nodded. “Better than okay.”

Caroline let out another squeal and flew into Elena’s arms, hugging her tightly.

“Careful, Carebear,” Damon cautioned. “Don’t accidentally smother my girlfriend. She’s breakable now.”

When Caroline let up, Bonnie took her place and whispered into Elena’s ear, “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you, Bonnie.”

When Bonnie pulled back, Elena added, “I remember everything again. The compulsion was broken as soon as I became human.”

Alaric looked like a weight was taken from his shoulders and Elena knew that he felt relieved because he still blamed himself for his role in the whole forgetting Damon debacle. Now he didn’t have to feel guilty anymore. Elena was happy for him too.

Eventually, amid all the congratulations, her eyes slipped over to Stefan who had remained eerily quiet during the whole announcement. He looked sad. Elena knew he was happy for her but she also knew that Stefan was acutely aware of what it meant for his brother. It wouldn’t be long now until Damon followed and from then on, the days of Stefan having a brother would be counting down until he’d be left all alone.

Elena noticed Stefan quietly slip away into the garden while she was busy answering her friends’ many questions. She was about to excuse herself and follow him when she was stopped by Damon. He laid a hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear, “I got this. You stay here, with your friends, okay?”

She squeezed his hand in reply and watched out of the corner of her eye as Damon walked out into the garden after Stefan.

“So, does that mean you’re back for good?” Stefan asked as soon as he heard footsteps behind him. He didn’t bother turning around.

“Yep,” Damon replied. “Sorry. Everything happened sort of fast.”

Stefan didn’t reply. There really was not much left to say.

“I was going to talk to you before taking the cure myself,” Damon continued into the silence.

“Yeah?” Stefan asked, finally turning around and looking at Damon. “And when will that be?”

“Soon-ish? Not sure. I want to marry her first.”

Stefan did a double-take. “You’ve proposed already?” Damon wasn’t sure if it was surprise or genuine shock he was hearing in Stefan’s voice.

“No. Not yet. But I’m going to.”

Stefan studied Damon for a long time. “Mh-hm,” he finally said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not going to take the cure.”

Damon scoffed. “Yes, I am.”

“You’re already making excuses and plans to push it off.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Damon replied.

“You two have been in Prague, Amsterdam, Paris, Venice and a dozen other romantic cities together. You could have proposed in any of those places if you wanted to. If it’s really only the wedding that makes you want to wait, you’d already be planning the whole thing. Instead you’re making excuses by setting pointless goals.”

“Pointless goa—” Damon visibly collected himself in order to not to explode into his brother’s face. “Stefan, don’t make me hit you.”

“Thanks, brother,” Stefan said and had the audacity to smile. “Looks like I won’t be losing you anytime soon.”

“I want to wait until after the wedding because when I vow to love her for all eternity, I want to mean actual eternity and not just the span of a human life,” Damon called after him as Stefan was about to walk away.

He halted in his tracks, then turned around and stared at Damon for the longest time. “You actually mean that,” Stefan stated with wonder in his voice. “Does Elena know?”

“That I want to marry her or that I want to do it while I’m still a vampire?”

“Both.”

“Yes, she knows. You think I’d make a decision like that without talking it over with her first?”

“Honestly?” Stefan said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen you two in over a year and I distinctly remember your relationship suffering from a lack of communication in the past. Repeatedly.”

“Yeah, well. I learned from my mistakes.”

“Damon Salvatore wanting to tie the knot. I think now I’ve seen everything,” Stefan muttered.

Damon huffed out a laugh. “Wait till we make an uncle out of you.”

Stefan’s mouth dropped open and he was about to reply when a high-pitched scream cut through the air. They both vampire-sped back to the house, arriving just in time to see Kai materialize out of thin air behind Jo, holding a bloody knife.

A second later all hell broke loose. Amid Jo’s cries and Alaric’s pleading to hold on, Caroline vampire-rushed inside, presumably to take care of the twins who had been put down for a nap, Bonnie and Liv were muttering incantations and directing surges of power at Kai who kept dodging them by turning invisible. The chaos culminated in a massive explosion as a ripple-like wave erupted from Kai’s palms, shards of glass and wood from the obliterated sunroom flying about, followed by a deathly and unnatural silence.

Damon flew to where he’d seen Elena last but she wasn’t there. He yelled her name over and over and searched frantically through the debris of broken glass, wood, and patio furniture until he spotted a slip of yellow dress. Flinging the heavy metal frame of a table off of her, he turned her limp body over and inspected her for injuries. She was bloody all over from tiny cuts on her face and arms but he didn’t see any major wounds. Quickly biting into his own wrist, he pressed it to her mouth. Nothing.

“Stefan!” he yelled in full-on panic mode. “Stefan. She won’t drink,” he explained when he felt his brother sink down next to him.

“Even if she could, your blood won’t heal her, remember?”

“What do I do? Stefan, what do I do?” Damon was quickly losing his mind and with it all ability to think.

“Take her to the hospital. Now!”

Damon was off before Stefan had even finished the sentence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a scale of one to ten - how much do you hate me now?


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, this is the final chapter. I'm sorry if some of you hoped for a different ending, but I always meant to only rewrite season 6. There is however good news - more about it in the end notes, after this chapter.

Damon paced up and down the hallway of Elena’s hospital room, equal parts worried, angry and helpless. The helplessness threatened to overwhelm him. He could and did have specific ideas on how to channel the former two emotions, most of them involving Kai as well as very creative ways for him to die, but not being able to do anything to help Elena was almost more than he could take.

A doctor Damon had compelled earlier to figure out what was wrong with Elena came up to talk to him. But all he had to say was basically the same thing all the other doctors and nurses before him had already told Damon: There was physically nothing wrong with Elena.

Damon sent him away. If he were to believe them and this was not a medical problem, then he needed a witch. He pulled out his phone and almost dropped it as it rang in that very same moment.

“Ah,” Damon breathed, answering it, “just the person I needed to talk to.”

“Damon?” a slightly panicked Bonnie on the other end of the line asked. “How’s Elena?”

Damon quickly summed up what four doctors and three nurses had told him.

she added, “he killed Jo. And Liv – she’s dead too. Something’s wrong with Alaric; he keeps muttering something and he won’t let go of Jo’s body. I don’t know where Tyler is. I don’t see Caroline or the kids either. What if Kai has them?”

Damon forced himself to breathe in and out. He should have killed that magic-sucking bastard when he had the chance. “Where is that little psycho now? He still there?”

“No. I don’t think so. He knocked me unconscious. I think he took my blood. When I woke up he was chanting a spell.”

“What kind of spell?” Damon asked in a threatening voice.

“I’m not sure. Why does he need my blood, Damon?”

“I don’t know, Bon-Bon. But I intend to find out. You need to calm down now. Do you see Stefan anywhere?”

“Yes, he’s right here.”

“Okay. You two come to the hospital. We’ll find Kai and we’ll kill him. But I don’t want to leave Elena alone. Someone needs to stay with her.”

“We’ll be right there.”

Damon hung up and punched the wall closest to him.

***

Killing Kai didn’t have the cathartic effect Damon hoped it would. To be fair, he didn’t think anything would feel cathartic short of Elena waking up. But as they had all learned, she wouldn’t. At least not for the next 60 to 70 years while Bonnie got to live a full life and grow old.

There had been some concern for Bonnie’s wellbeing and some – fucking Donovan, Damon thought – even went so far as to suggest she leave town, lest Damon would feel tempted to end her life prematurely to get his girlfriend back. Damon tried to take offense to the suggestion but honestly, he couldn’t be bothered to feel much of anything right now. How could he when the next 60 to 70 years looked as bleak as ever.

The day after the Kai-shaped disaster struck, everyone was sitting in Elena’s hospital room. Everyone except Alaric. Jo’s funeral was planned for the day after tomorrow and he refused to acknowledge it. Instead he was in full-on research mode, claiming there was a way to bring her back – there had to be, he only had to find it. Caroline had taken over babysitting duty to which Alaric surprisingly didn’t object. She was the only other person he allowed near his children which probably had something to do with the fact that because of her quick thinking, Kai hadn’t managed to lay his hands on the girls.

“We can’t leave her here forever,” Caroline said, breaking the silence in the hospital room.

Damon looked up from Elena’s bed. He was perched next to her sleeping body, her hand in his, her body tucked into his side.

Matt looked around the room and focused on Bonnie. “Bon, is there really nothing you can do?”

“No,” Damon answered the question before Bonnie could. “There isn’t.”

“It’s dangerous, Matt. Kai warned us if we try to tinker with the spell, Elena would die. I’m… I’m just…”

“We are not taking any risks. Is that understood?” Damon flashed up from the bed and stared them all down.

“We can transfer her to one of the rooms in the boarding house,” Stefan suggested, getting back to Caroline’s previous point.

“Where every vampire can just walk in while our mother and her freshly awakened heretics seek revenge? I don’t think so.”

“I can spell the room shut,” Bonnie suggested. “She’d be safe in there.”

Damon straightened up at that, an idea coming to him. “The safest place for Elena is for everybody to believe her dead. So that’s what we’re going to do.”

“I don’t understand,” Caroline began.

“I don’t think I understand either,” Matt piped up.

“The Salvatore tomb. We get a casket and put her there, in the crypt. Bonnie will spell the door shut. She’ll be safe there.”

“That’s not creepy at all,” Caroline mumbled.

“Do you have a better suggestion?” Damon exploded in her face. “Anyone? I’m listening. Let’s all brainstorm.”

Every person in the room tried to avoid Damon’s borderline demented stare by looking at their feet.

Caroline was the first to reply. “No. It’s actually a good idea.”

A few other voices piped up as well.

“Yeah.”

“The crypt it is.”

“Okay, let’s do it.”

Damon nodded at nobody in particular. “It’s settled then. Tomorrow, after Jo’s funeral, we say our goodbyes and that’s it.”

“I’m going to go call Jeremy. He’ll want to be there,” Bonnie muttered and slipped out of the room.

“I’ll go compel the doctors to sign Elena out and,” Caroline paused, looking around and focusing on Matt, “Matt, why don’t you go get a chair for Elena so we can bring her home, huh?”

“Save it,” Damon said to Matt, moving to the bed and lifting Elena into his arms. “Go talk to the doctors, Blondie. Stefan, bring the car around. We’re getting out of here.”

With that, he walked out of the room, carrying Elena while the others scrambled to follow.

***

Damon placed Elena gently on the bed and made sure she was comfortable before he joined her. Sitting down and pulling her head onto his shoulder, he was struck again by her lifeless body. Even in sleep, Elena usually cuddled up to him when he was close. This was wrong. Everything about this was wrong. Damon wished he could kill Kai all over again because once was definitely not enough.

Pushing those feelings of revenge aside, he breathed deep and pulled Elena tighter into his arms. Pressing his lips against her hair, he whispered, “Do you sometimes think back to Nice?” He let his mind wander to a time about half a year ago.

***

_“Hey, Elena?”_

_“Mmh?” came the muffled reply from the bed where Elena was starfished across, face down in a pillow._

_“How is your Catalan?” Damon asked._

_“Nonexistent. Why?”_

_“Just asking.”_

_“Mh-hm,” Elena mumbled back and it was testament to how tired she was, otherwise she’d never let this out of the blue question go._

_A few days later, Elena walked through the door of the same hotel room to a very different view than the one she had left only a few hours ago to get a haircut._

_“What’s this?” she asked Damon who was busy checking off things off a list._

_He barely looked up when he answered, “It is called a backpack.”_

_“I know what it’s called. I meant to say what’s it doing here? Why do you have one?”_

_“Because backpacking without a backpack is stupid?”_

_“Who’s going backpacking?” Elena asked._

_“Guess,” Damon replied with a big grin._

_Elena pursed her lips and frowned, the world making less sense with every passing minute. “Okay,” she slowly began, “it does seem a little out of character for you, but let’s chalk it up to me missing a few key memories, shall we? Which, however, still leaves the question of why are there two of them?”_

_“Because there’s two of us?”_

_“You expect me to join you?”_

_“Uh, yes.”_

_“Uh, no.”_

_“Come on. It’ll be fun.”_

_“Oh, excuse me, have we met? Hi. My name is Elena and you, sir, are confusing me with someone who backpacks, hikes, and does all the other outdoorsy stuff.”_

_“I bet you’ve never even tried it before.”_

_“Stefan took me up to the falls once. I hated every single mile of it.”_

_“Well, what I’ve planned for us is a little bit more impressive than the Mystic Falls falls. Trust me.”_

_He looked so excited by the prospect, Elena was equal parts suspicious as well as teetering on the edge of giving in. Damn his baby-blue eyes. They always made her weak in the knees. “And where is this hypothetical backpacking trip supposed to happen?” she asked._

_“Andorra.”_

_Like he was able to smell her weakness, his eyes lit up and he pulled her down on the bed to show her pictures on his phone. She didn’t want to admit it, but the views of mountains and lakes did look incredible. She closed her eyes, ready to give in._

_As she was about to let herself fall backwards on the bed in a sign of surrender, her arm hit something round and squishy._

_“Damon?” she asked, apprehension filling her voice. “What’s this?”_

_“A tent and two sleeping bags?”_

_Elena closed her eyes and groaned._

***

“You were so mad at me. Day one I think you were expecting me to yell ‘gotcha’ and tell you it was all a prank. By day two you were convinced I had an ulterior motive and were expecting an organized surprise around every bend, a romantic picnic or dinner at an extremely remote restaurant. By day three you realized I wasn’t kidding. You said you hated me and that you would leave me for a hot tub once we were back in civilization. Day four you refused to walk anymore and I had to come up with incentives to keep you going. I don’t think you spoke a single word to me on day five.”

Damon paused, remembering. “You hated it; every single second of every day. Except the nights under the stars. Those were your favorite. No matter how mad at me you were, you always went to sleep with your head on my shoulder.”

Leaning in close, he whispered into Elena’s ear, “I guess I can admit it now: I did have an ulterior motive. The hiking part? I hated it too, but I had something planned for your birthday, well both our birthdays, I should say. Remember the week after that, in Nice? The one we spent cruising on a private yacht? You only said yes to it because you were in need of some serious R&R. You would have never let me pamper and spoil you like that if I hadn’t put you through your own personal hell beforehand.

“And Nice – Nice was magical. We spent the days lazing about, lying in the sun, staring at the blue sky, taking a swim in the blue water. I told you vampires don’t get a tan, but you were set on proving me wrong. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. You might think it had something to do with that ridiculously hot white swimsuit you were wearing but that was only part of it.

“Elena, I had to live 175 years to realize what life was really about. I’ve never felt more alive than during those days on the French Riviera or any other day that I got to spend with you. Just holding your hand, taking you to bed, laughing with you. And that’s why I can’t do this without you, baby. I can’t go back to being this shell of a person. I just can’t. Okay? My life is not meant to be lived without you.”

He opened his eyes, concentrating on upholding the illusion that he projected into Elena’s sleeping mind.

“Damon,” she whispered in awe, materializing next to him and taking in their surroundings. “What is this place?”

“You don’t recognize it?”

Elena looked around, spinning in a circle. They were on an open balcony overlooking a caldera of blue water. The sun was setting on the horizon and above them, hundreds of twinkling lights illuminated the stone floor and the countless potted plants around them. Then her eyes widened. “Is that our villa in—”

“Greece,” Damon confirmed. “I might have embellished it a little. For our last dance.”

Elena frowned. “Our last dance?”

Instead of answering, he pulled her into his arms and she fit inside them so naturally, like they were made for this, for each other. “God, I love dancing with you,” Damon breathed in her ear as he moved her into a spin.

She let him lead her easily, but pulled back a little to look him in the face. “Damon?” she asked, while they continued to waltz. “Last dance?”

“Let’s not talk about it now.”

“You’re not going to do anything stupid, are you?”

“Like what?” Damon challenged.

“Like take yourself out of the equation while I’m… asleep.”

Damon sighed deeply. “Elena.”

“No, Damon. You can’t. Whatever you’re thinking of doing, you can’t.”

“What am I thinking of doing?”

“I don’t know. But it must be something stupid. Because I know this face and it’s your ‘I’m about to do something incredibly idiotic’ face. Promise me, Damon.”

“Promise you what?”

“That you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking. You’re not going to starve yourself and desiccate to make the time go faster or pull a Stefan and leave town or worse.”

Damon shrugged, not willing to admit that that was exactly what had been on his mind.

“You can’t, Damon. Our friends need you.”

Damon rolled his eyes. “Okay, first, they’re mostly _your_ friends. And second, no, they don’t.”

“Yes, they do. Remember how everyone drifted apart when you and Bonnie were trapped in the prison world.”

“That had nothing to do with me,” Damon protested.

“It had everything to do with you. It’s group psychology.” Elena stopped dancing to lecture him. “Even in tightly knit groups there’s one element that acts as the glue. You’re the glue, Damon. Whether you like it or not. Without you, Stefan will fall apart. Without Stefan, Caroline will spiral. Without Caroline holding everyone together, everyone will go their own way and as we’ve seen before, it leads to nowhere good. You’re the pin that, if removed, will make the dominoes collapse. You can’t leave,” she implored.

“I don’t know what to do without you, Elena. I can’t be good without you.”

Elena bit her lip hard to stop herself from crying. “Yes, you can. Because whether I’m here or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I love you. And I trust you. And I know you’re better than you pretend to be.”

“I’ll miss your eternal optimism. Even though it is, as previously stated, super annoying.”

Elena laughed out loud at that and Damon took her in, looked his fill for one last time for who knew how many years. Then he pulled her into his arms again and swayed to the music. “Things will be incredibly dull without you around,” Damon mused. “Maybe I’ll take up knitting. Adopt some cats.”

Elena smiled and buried her fingers in his hair. She held his face as she implored, “I want you to live your life. Continue doing what we began in Europe – enjoy your last years as a vampire. Only now it will be decades. Do everything you wanted to do. Be happy. Just… do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“You can date. But… Don’t fall in love with anyone else, okay?”

“You’re ridiculous. Like I could ever.”

Elena believed him but they were talking a long time here and she simply needed to make sure. “Just don’t.”

“You’re the only woman I will ever want. And I would wait for you till the end of time.”

“It’s not gonna be quite that long,” Elena replied. “Take care of Bonnie for me? And Stefan? And check in on Matt occasionally, okay?”

“What about Blondie?”

Elena chuckled. “Out of everyone in our group, I think Caroline can handle herself. But if you wouldn’t mind, you can take her out for a drink every once in a while. I think she’d like that.”

Damon nodded his consent and Elena smiled and snuggled deeper into his arms, laying her head on his shoulder as they continued to slowly move to the music. She tried to take in every little detail to remember it for the years to come – the way Damon’s arms felt around her, the way his breath moved her hair, the sound of his heart in her ear, his scent, his warmth, his love. She breathed deeply, feeling it was time to say goodbye.

Finishing the dance, Damon stepped back and said, “The next time we dance like this will be at our wedding.”

Elena grinned at him. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

Hand in hand they walked towards the edge of the light, both knowing instinctively that they had to let go once they reached it.

“Hey, Salvatore,” Elena called just before their connection broke. “Just because my answer is going to be yes, doesn’t mean you get out of staging a real proposal for me. Got it?”

Now it was Damon’s turn to grin. “Would you prefer a private, romantic something or a big, flashy party?” he asked.

Elena thought for a moment. “Surprise me.”

“I will,” Damon promised.

***

Because Damon couldn’t stomach the thought, Caroline and Stefan were the ones to go out shopping for a casket. Everyone lined up in the parlor to say goodbye to Elena, while Damon stood off to the side, watching the proceedings with a critical and detached composure.

Having just laid to rest Jo, everyone was in their funeral getup which made the whole thing particularly morbid in Damon’s eyes. His mind kept flashing through all his favorite memories of Elena and of them together. He couldn’t believe that for the next however many decades, memories were all he would have.

Stepping up to the casket, he bent down to place a soft kiss on Elena’s forehead. “I am going to miss you,” he whispered. He let his eyes travel across her sleeping face one more time before straightening up and closing the lid.

**FIN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head, Elena and Damon live a happy human life after the series finale. I started putting some of it onto paper and could be persuaded to write down the rest of it too. So, if enough people are interested in reading it, I will write/finish writing the sequel to this story, chronicling the time from when Elena wakes up and following along as they build a (human) life for themselves.  
> In the next chapter, I will post a sneak peek from that sequel. Please let me know if it's something you want me to continue.


	30. sneak peek into the sequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a short and sweet scene from the sequel that I plan to finish writing soon. It takes quite a leap into the future but I wanted to share it with you because this was actually the very first scene I wrote in this universe. Hope you like it.

It didn't happen often, but occasionally, when Elena had a day off and Damon's various businesses were all running so smoothly that he could allow himself to stay away for a few days, they drove out to the lake house. It used to belong to Elena's parents but was now Jeremy's who wasn't using it much.

Keeping the kids in his line of sight, Damon leaned over his wife and used his weight to push her back onto the picnic blanket. Elena went willingly, pulling him more firmly on top of herself as she got lost in his kiss.

Moments later they were interrupted by a little boy of no more than four years. He didn't say a word as he ran up to them but just stood there, watching, patiently waiting for his parents' attention.

"Nuh-uh," Damon protested the interruption and continued kissing Elena. She smiled under his lips and pushed him away gently.

"What is it, baby?" Elena stretched her head back and asked while Damon pointedly continued to ignore the little troublemaker and used the opportunity to pepper Elena's neck with kisses.

"I'm bored."

Damon groaned and finally looked up, "Hey, we had two of you to prevent this from happening. You're supposed to go play with each other and let mommy and daddy play with themselves."

The boy gazed at his father, his huge blue eyes, so very much like Damon's, blinking innocently "But Daddy, Steffy has only me to play with and I only have Steffy. It gets boring sometimes."

"So, what you're saying is that you need another brother or sister to play with?" Damon asked as he climbed off of Elena and sat up.

The boy's whole face scrunched up as the thought hard about it for a moment, then he very earnestly replied, "Yes."

Damon turned his head to look at Elena only to find she was already looking at him. He raised his brows in question, "How about it? Ready for one more?"

Elena shrugged a 'why not', appearing indifferent. But Damon saw her biting her lip and look down to hide how happy the idea made her. Damon watched her. He sometimes still couldn't believe that she was his wife and that this was their life. And to think that for the longest time he was convinced he didn't want it.

Focusing his attention back on his son, he shooed him away. "All right, all right. Now go and leave me and mommy alone, so we can get started on making you a new brother or sister, will you?"

"Damon!" Elena exclaimed and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are interested, I post updates on my writing progress for the sequel over on twitter. The handle is @adaudby.


End file.
